The vikings were there first (after the native Americans), so I'd go with Greater Norway.
this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2025
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The Bada Bing Republic
The incorporated states of Northern America ltd.
Oops.
Han Dynasty would be funny, not least because it doesn’t solve the problem
There’s also the Prince joke “Land formally known as USA”
Needs to be named first.
Mississippiland
Dumbfuckistan
Red, white and blue land obviously.
South Canada.
Fartland.
The United States of Moronica
no offense to actual morons intended
None taken.
North Mexico
Mountain Dew presents: Freedom Country - Brought to you by United Healthcare.
Way too credible
Idiocracy
Wendigo
It’s an Algonquin cryptid / monster with an insatiable hunger for human flesh and a love of murder. Generally greedy and evil. Also known to smell bad.
Honors our native heritage and says something about our beloved country’s strength of character.
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The Chips and Cheese Deluxe Society
The States of Northern Mexico
Whatever the Cherokee word for "stolen land" is.
Or, you know, the thousands of other languages that existed.
Sorry, distilling everything indigenous down to the Cherokee is a pet peeve of mine.
Truly the English specialty: stealing stuff from other people.
Spain owned more
What's the only reason the pyramids are still in Egypt? They're too big to fit in the British museum.
Too big to fit English ships you mean ;)
Fuckwitistan might be prudent after the russian takeover.
Still the same guy, but the Firesign Theater suggested decades ago that the country be called Vespucciland.
And yeah, we name everything else after people's last names.
oligarchistan
Formally: Jeb!
Informally: Jebland
Dialectical variant of English: Jeblish
Collective name for the people of Jebland: Jebanese
I’m kidding of course. We all know the process to rename the U.S. would be taken over by the wealthy and we’d wind up named HCH (Human Capital Holdings), LLC, a shell corporation/nation that is jointly owned by Blackrock, Vanguard, and State Street.
Jeb means "fuck" in some languages.
Even better
Please clap.
Rename it to Mexico. Then the whole gulf of mexico situation is fixed.
A vast amount of it used to be Mexico.
Christland
OK hear me out: It should be named after the first European explorer to discover it and popularize the European expansion: Christopher Columbus.
- Like its namesake, the nation too is racist, cruel and genocidal. Even the Spanish Inquisition era Catholics were like, damn Christopher!
- Like the largest exporter of cocaíne in South America, it too is full of drugs, and its elections are the plaything of big money cartels and foreign powers.
- It was mostly settled by white people from England.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you your new nation: British Columbia.
The United States Inc. since that's all we are anyway....
United Corp.
I'm not even sure United applies anymore. I change my answer to The States Corp.
Northern Lands of g.u.l.f. (= greedy unelected lying fascists)
The United States of Whatever
TwatWaffle McDunceland
Stolidus
- It sounds strong and powerful
- It's Latin, and therefore properly awesome.
- It's definition is: foolish, absurd, dumb, forceless, powerless
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