Ask Lemmy

Ozempia

“Vinland” is what the Vikings who discovered the land named it. Not a bad name.

Were I to name it today I’d pick some foreign language version of “The Land of Pulling Up the Ladder” or “The Land of Crabs in a Bucket”.

The vikings were there first (after the native Americans), so I'd go with Greater Norway.

The Bada Bing Republic

Han Dynasty would be funny, not least because it doesn’t solve the problem

There’s also the Prince joke “Land formally known as USA”

The incorporated states of Northern America ltd.

Oops.

Needs to be named first.

Mississippiland

Dumbfuckistan

Red, white and blue land obviously.

Fartland.

South Canada.

The United States of Moronica

no offense to actual morons intended

North Mexico

Mountain Dew presents: Freedom Country - Brought to you by United Healthcare.

Idiocracy

Wendigo

It’s an Algonquin cryptid / monster with an insatiable hunger for human flesh and a love of murder. Generally greedy and evil. Also known to smell bad.

Honors our native heritage and says something about our beloved country’s strength of character.

Whatever the Cherokee word for "stolen land" is.

The States of Northern Mexico

Fuckwitistan might be prudent after the russian takeover.

oligarchistan

The Chips and Cheese Deluxe Society

Formally: Jeb!
Informally: Jebland
Dialectical variant of English: Jeblish
Collective name for the people of Jebland: Jebanese

I’m kidding of course. We all know the process to rename the U.S. would be taken over by the wealthy and we’d wind up named HCH (Human Capital Holdings), LLC, a shell corporation/nation that is jointly owned by Blackrock, Vanguard, and State Street.

Still the same guy, but the Firesign Theater suggested decades ago that the country be called Vespucciland.

And yeah, we name everything else after people's last names.

Rename it to Mexico. Then the whole gulf of mexico situation is fixed.

OK hear me out: It should be named after the first European explorer to discover it and popularize the European expansion: Christopher Columbus.

• Like its namesake, the nation too is racist, cruel and genocidal. Even the Spanish Inquisition era Catholics were like, damn Christopher!
• Like the largest exporter of cocaíne in South America, it too is full of drugs, and its elections are the plaything of big money cartels and foreign powers.
• It was mostly settled by white people from England.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you your new nation: British Columbia.

Northern Lands of g.u.l.f. (= greedy unelected lying fascists)

The United States Inc. since that's all we are anyway....

The United States of Whatever

Stolidus

• It sounds strong and powerful
• It's Latin, and therefore properly awesome.
• It's definition is: foolish, absurd, dumb, forceless, powerless

Christland

TwatWaffle McDunceland

Trade names with the Gulf and become the United States of Mexico.