Transfem

Ever since I was a little kid, I've had dreams where I'll wake up as a girl and I'll run to the mirror, and I'll start crying because I actually felt happy with my body. Those dreams would always hit the hardest because I'd soon wake up after that and find out it was just a dream.

While transitioning, I felt like I was becoming more "me", my true self, it's hard to describe. It's like a weight was gradually being lifted off of me.

The frequency of appearing as a woman increased post transition, but those dreams were already common pre transition too.

I hate being a man in my dreams, because that's not me, it doesn't feel like me, it'd be like waking up as a whole different person.

I've always seen myself as a woman in my dreams as far as I can remember. Weird that my egg didn't crack sooner with that happening since my childhood.

Transfem NB, egg cracked in my late 20's.

I think my dreams have almost always excluded showing my own body or gender. I remember having some dreams of being in the "wrong" bathroom and being worried about what others would think back in middle school.

After egg crack, I started sometimes having dreams dealing with people finding out that I'm trans, but if anxiety about coming out isn't the focus of the dream, then my gender usually isn't really part of them. I might have like randomly had larger boobs than irl months after starting hrt.

Even when referring to myself in third person to people I'm out to, I still default to old pronouns by accident most of the time. I rather I didn't do that, but it's not really a big deal for me. Find it kinda funny my dreams are more consistent about seeing me as trans/not a man than my own conscious language.

I haven't started transition yet, but I remember having dreams where I was a girl even before the time I realized I'm not cis. In some I would be a female fictional character from a movie/animation, and once I dreamed I was looking in the mirror and seeing a female version of myself. I felt really happy seeing myself as a girl in that dream.

I still don't know if I would like to do a complete transition and be a woman, or if I just want to be less masculine. I'm probably NB. Not sure.

I don't notice my gender in most dreams, but there was one a few months ago where I was definitely a woman. That one also convinced me I want bottom surgery, down there just felt right in that dream.

Half a year into transition here. I've been sleeping much better since I started, and I don't think I remember having any dreams since.

In the past, my dreams which didn't feature gender would have been "assumed male" regular me. But I did have a recurring dream where I'd wake up as a woman one day, and they were mostly centered around how to explain it to the people who knew me and generally enjoying my new life. Those were absolutely crushing to wake up from. Also sexual fantasies and dreams were mostly from a female perspective (thus I assumed it was just a fetish for a long time).

I would also very frequently dissociate during waking times and imagine myself doing whatever I was doing, but as a woman. Not in a sexual way, just a very melancholy "if only..." feeling.

That's all stopped since starting transition. Instead, when I've been concentrating on something and come "back to reality" as it were, I often get a brief flash of "crap, I'm a man -- no, wait -- oh shit I'm out and transitioning is this a dream I must be crazy -- calm down, this is what I want" with an associated adrenaline spike. That's not fun. Other times when my mind wanders I can just reflect happily on how awesome it is I get to be a woman at last, if I can stave off the "you're faking it" dysphoria.

I don't have much experience yet of being treated as a woman socially, or even seeing myself in that role, but I'm hoping that will change and I get used to it. Then I'd expect my dreams to mostly reflect that.

When I first started HRT a year ago, a few months into HRT, I had multiple dreams in where I was cis female. I loved every second of it. This only lasted for a week. Then all of my dreams after that either had me as genderless or had me as a trans woman. It's been more than a year later, still dreaming I'm a trans woman. I suspect it'll stay like that after I finally start to see myself as feminine, because I still struggle with seeing myself as masculine due to my face, my bottom organs, etc. I think once I get all of my surgeries done, I will see a substantial shift in my dream gender when my dysphoria is much less. Fingers and toes crossed.

I didn't start seeing myself as a woman in my dreams until like 1.5 - 2 years in on estrogen. It also bothers me that I can't remember ever dreaming of myself as a girl prior to transition.

Funny enough, the concept in my dreams is that I complain a lot about getting misgendered (thanks internalized transphobia) but I at least see myself as I look physically in my day to day. For those first two years or so my mental image of myself was my "male" me. 🤮

I did not remember my dreams before E.

No physical changes yet (aside from one dream I had as a kid) but they have started incorporating various transition-related scenarios already. Only been on E less than a month and not even a full week after my first shot I was already having dreams where I demonstrated the whole process to unknown observers. I've also had a couple where I've gotten into arguments and cut off less accepting family members, so that's been a Fun™ preview before it inevitability happens irl

My dreams never were gendered on the self perspective. I suppose in my dream state, gender is not a thing I describe myself or others with. I don't use pronouns at all in my dreams either, my language processing is completely asleep when dreaming.

I came out a little less than a month ago and have had a long time where I never remembered my dreams, but those where I did, I always presented male inside the dream. In just the past few days I've started remembering pretty much every dream I've had, and in all of them I've been presenting fem.

It always felt off that I was masc in my dreams when that did not at all feel right. I have not started hormones yet, only social transition as of now, but it feels very validating in that sense to finally see myself in my dreams as well.

I’m half way through month 5 and I’ve had a couple dreams with myself as a woman. Probably started a few weeks ago.

I've had it go back and forth my while life (at least that I can remember). I'm my youth, I mostly was male in my dreams, but had the occasional dream where I was a woman (and some dreams that really should have cracked my egg sooner). I realized I was trans about 9 months ago. By "realized", I mean that I had been thinking about it seriously for 2 and a half years (and had fleeting thoughts long before that), and 9 months ago is when I was finally confident that it was who I am. Since then, I have dreamt of myself as a woman much more often. I'm on hormones, and I don't dream most nights (always been like that), but its rare for me to have a dream where I'm a man nowadays, despite the fact that I haven't outwardly transitioned (only among friends and online am I presenting fem because of some life reasons that make it unsafe right now). I spend most of my time alone in my room, and I present fem to myself in the way I behave, in my mannerisms and such. I have spent a lot of time changing my voice, so when I'm alone, I speak to myself in my new voice, even though I never use it with anyone else in person. I've very significantly changed the way that I think about myself, and for me, that has affected my dreams significantly. That's not to say that just because someone else has a different dream experience that they way they think of themselves is differently than I do. Dreams are a really mysterious thing, and everyone has different experiences with them. They aren't necessarily representative of your real life, or your real beliefs or thoughts, though they can often be influenced by them.

But I think something that has actually had a significant effect on my dreams is how much I've been daydreaming since my realization. In daydreams, I'm entirely in control, and I imagine myself as the girl I want to be. I think that has affected my dreams significantly, and it's definitely influenced my conscious thoughts. I don't know if it's related, but now that I've gotten used to my voice, my inner monologue has changed. I've almost outed myself by accidentally using the "wrong" voice before because of it, but I really think that it's a lot of little things that have caused my thoughts and dreams to change.

I think it's going to be different for everyone. Just remember that your brain loves to use the same connections that it has used your entire life. It loves being lazy and ignoring new things when it can get away with it. Your brain controls your dreams, despite it not being conscious control, so it's likely to use connections from the before times when you are dreaming. That doesn't change who you are, and it doesn't make you any less (or any more) valid. That's just the brain doing it's thing; falling into patterns established when it was younger because it likes to be lazy about it.

this is an interesting question. i'm transmasc and a little over five years since coming out and starting HRT. i'm also pretty old (for the internet, anyways), so i had lived a life while presenting female - i have a lot of experiences, memories, friends, ect from that time period

i never had dreams where i was a man, pre-transition. even nowadays, sometimes i dream and it uses my past self concept as a woman. it was a little surprising to realize i had dreams where i was a man, actually (which would have probably been a few years after i transitioned). but it varies, and i don't put too much stock in it. it was hard enough for me to figure out that i'm a man, i don't hold it against my dreams or whatever. and, conversely, it doesn't bring me a ton of relief if i have a dream where i am a man, because i am one when i wake up, and that's all that matters to me

in a lot of ways though, when i dream, my essence is that of myself, with the traits that i largely identify as - not male or female, but rather, determined, persevering, and intent on finding truth. these define who i am much more than my gender, in my dreams

all that said, the question about self concept is the hardest one for me to answer. i feel like an entirely separate person - albeit one who has the memories of another person's lived life - and, in a way, the same heart. however, there is a definite break between where she ended and i began, which was marked by the moment i realized that i'm trans. so i don't really know how to answer that, maybe it's a slower and less traumatic experience for others? i had to forget everything i had learned, i had to rediscover who i was from scratch. in doing so, i realized that many things i attributed to "who i am" were much more tenuous than i had previously believed

but i think that's a good realization, to know that you'll still be yourself no matter what changes. it frees you to grow as a person, without clinging to notions of who you were or who you should be

no matter what you need to do to survive or blend in, no matter what body you have, don't forget or doubt yourself in your womanhood

i might have had more to write, but i'm too sleepy and thought it would be better to write this out before i forgot. i'm looking forward to reading more of the responses in this thread later though