this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2025
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Futurama
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Rule 1: Don't be a jerkwad!
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In fact, forget the park.
I used this at work one time. Someone complained about it and I was told not to do it again.
It felt very appropriate because someone sent out a company wide email talking about a potluck. Then shortly after, they sent out another one saying that was meant for their department, that I wasn't in.
Please tell me you replied all to company wide email to say you were going to have you're own potluck with blackjack and hookers?
Cause that is absolutely worth risking getting fired over.
I'd like to say I did but this was like 8 years ago. I don't remember. Only reason I think I must have replied all is because if I only replied to the sender, I'd know who has no sense of humor.
Actually, I rarely delete my emails. I wonder if it's still archived.
EDIT: I FOUND IT!! It was just under 10 years ago. It wasn't company wide, just to our building. It was the image, not just text. And I did reply to everyone in the thread. 3 people responded to me and said it was funny. No one complained in the thread.
Excellent! Yeah replying with the image is a much smarter way to go about it.
Do a flip!
Shut up baby, I know it.
Not an hour ago, my partner told the cat he's cute (he is). The cat meowed in response, which we agreed probably translated to shut up baby I know it.
Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder!
Hey baby, wanna kill all humans?
You know, I was God once.
Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died.
LETS GO ALREADYYYYY!
Also, "They must learn our peaceful ways, through force!"
Guess what you're all accomplices too?!
You should say something else.
Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care
Jimmy cracked corn, I still don't care
Bender cracked corn, and he is great
Take that you stupid corn
"I don't want anybody thinking we're robosexuals. So if anyone asks, you're my debugger."
I am Bender, please insert girder.
I'm Bender, baby! Please insert liquor!
Bite my shiny metal ass!
Afterlife? If I had to go through another life, I would kill myself
You want me to do 2 things?
Antiquing? boom (second to the obvious catchphrase)
Bender, stop trying to blow up the world.
The whole world must learn of our peaceful ways...by force!
Goodbye losers whom i've always hated!
Do it again, and this time don't embarass yourselves is a close second though. We say that about kittens that are too cute all the time.
Your best is an idiot!
When Hermes is on the roof of Planet Express, "Do a flip!"
Bite my shiny metal ass!
Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
Don't worry, Leela. Soon we'll be able to look back on this and laugh... Hahahahaha!
Hey baby, wanna kill all humans?
Hedonism-bot: "To overthrow humanity, we'd need a damned army!"
Bender: "Then a damned army we shall have!"
*cut to Robot Hell*
Pop a poppler in your mouth when you come to Fishy Joe's/ What they're made of is a mystery where they come from no one knows/ You can lick em, you can stick em, you can chew em, you can eat em/ If you promise not to sue us you can shove one up your nose!
Learning is fun.
Hey, I should be mad at you.
I'm 40% ______.
These balls are making me testy!
A baby what?
I use this phrase at work "I can guarantee anything you want"
KISS MY SHINY METAL ASS
He was fun!
Well, I'm tired of this room and everyone in it.
Watching hurricane Melissa coverage. Every time they said Jamaica, I would repeat Jamaica! My wife was not impressed.
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Dooooooooooooomed
🎶 I love stealing, I love taking things 🎶
Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourself
Hey, I got a busted ass here! I don't see anyone kissing IT!
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