this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Not the Onion

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The article link doesn't work anymore, so here's an archived one: https://archive.ph/9bmVZ

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[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 97 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Capitalism 101 - sell whatever you can, whenever you can.

[–] SuckMyWang@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

What are they selling? Apart from ads and your data. If anything it sounds like they’re saying the stress will make you consume less so it’s a horrible opportunity to lose weight if you haven’t been able to before. Still a weird take though as war is usually associated with being malnourished, might be the reason it seems offensive rather than trying to make the best of a bad situation.

[–] Chariotwheel@kbin.social 85 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Who the actual fuck approved this for publishing?

[–] binomialchicken@lemmy.blahaj.zone 60 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Nobody approved it, its just AI generated and automatically published.

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 8 points 11 months ago

Fire is a good servant but a bad master.

[–] mateomaui@reddthat.com 61 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Really, really, really reaching for that silver lining.

Like, Mr Fantastic or Elastigirl type reaching.

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

More like a 16 years old stretch Armstrong left at the bottom of a drawer…

[–] soloner@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

Don't forget Luffy! 😁

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Was Mr fantastic bad? I want to watch it.

[–] mateomaui@reddthat.com 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Wait, are we talking about the same thing? I meant Mr Fantastic of the Fantastic 4 comic, for which I believe all the movies should probably be buried somewhere. I don’t remember them that well. Captain Fantastic with Viggo Mortensen is great, but a totally different genre. Fantastic Mr Fox is a hoot. Not sure what other options it could be.

[–] 7of9@startrek.website 5 points 11 months ago

I thought it was about the trumpet player in the Blues Brothers

[–] asexualchangeling@lemmy.ml 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I have a soft spot for the fantastic 4 movie from the early 2000s it wasn't perfect but I kinda liked it, we don't talk about fant4stic though...

[–] mateomaui@reddthat.com 1 points 11 months ago

If that’s the one with Chris Evans, yeah, it was alright, much better than the later ones iirc.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 33 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Lose up to 25% of your body weight with these handy landmine tips.

[–] TheDorkfromYork@lemm.ee 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Do they have updated bmi charts for every combination of limb loss?

[–] library_napper@monyet.cc 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Something tells me this was AI being told to write a tweet about weight loss based on what current events are being discussed online

[–] Masimatutu@mander.xyz 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yes, if you read the article it seems very AI-generated indeed.

[–] SebKra@feddit.de 4 points 11 months ago

Reminds me of grace lees excellent essay on how dystopian absurdity like this happens. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7O5bBHLnCo

[–] davel@lemmy.ml 22 points 11 months ago

This apparently is Dr. Raz Hagoel’s Linkedin and his clinic’s website.

[–] popemichael@lemmy.sdf.org 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That has to be a record in inappropriateness.

It's like saying that concentration camps are great for losing weight and reducing urban over population in the ghetto.

[–] davepleasebehave@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

the smell of ash and charred flesh in the air is terrible. on the other hand you can use it to form a healthy disgust of food. loose weight and look great on the beach. the sea water will wash your sins away. the sand will exfoliate your guilt.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago

And Palestinians can lose weight by not having food.

[–] griD@feddit.de 17 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Holy hyper-normalization :O

ETA: One could figure out the state of our media and our (online) existence by just thinking a bit about those beautiful hashtags.

[–] OtakuAltair@lemm.ee 17 points 11 months ago

This loops around to being genius

You did share it

[–] pensivepangolin@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

Another shining example of why the Jerusalem post is a propagandistic rag. And not a very good one at that.

[–] BloodSlut@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago
[–] Something_Complex@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Aaaaa modern problems require....aaaaa.....¿modern solicions?

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

The machines are getting better at manipulating us.

[–] imgprojts@lemmy.ml 6 points 11 months ago

What do ruzzians do when they know they need to loose a few pounds? They go to war of course! Did you know that a bullet hole can make you loose anywhere between one and fifty pounds? And that's not including the actual brass or lead. Larger motion tends to remove pounds fast! Way fast. Many of the same ruzzians will start with just one and then gather a bunch of weight loss really quickly. Others like to get the one shot and gradually, over a period of several months loose a lot of weight. Like a lot. Some are not even flesh and bones, some are just bones.

[–] Rayspekt@kbin.social 5 points 11 months ago

No need for work if you're dead

[–] ursakhiin@beehaw.org 4 points 11 months ago

Here me out. Exercise is important in a time of unrest. Maybe the most important. How else do you expect to out run those bombs...

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago

Ho hooooowhaaaat the F is right, that's crazy

[–] kratoz29@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

Don't worry, in a not far away future we all will be able to pay to get rid of those annoying and disturbing ads in all our social media services!

Obligatory /s

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Finally, a bad take everyone can agree on.

[–] Venat0r@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Surely this has to be satire... 😔

[–] djasee@lemmy.ml 2 points 9 months ago

truly an absurd reality we live in