Black one. You can earn a lot of money by being the fastest delivery agent.

Love the idea that a third string QB in the XFL is worth $5 AUD. Still overvalued.

Going for purple to get the dog. I speak Mandarin, so if I put in the effort I could learn Cantonese really fast.

Can't believe no one at all is thinking about 'Become a Third String QB in the XFL'. There's nothing specifying that this is a one time transformation.

Being an XFL QB of any level seems like it would require a general level of health and wellbeing... If you could assume that this would make you capable of being a QB with everything that would typically entail and if that power was constant where you were always capable of being a QB... You could be kind of immortal, healthy, and always in at least above average shape.

Also imagining a world where all society has collapsed except the XFL, I'd read that book.

The black pill is the logical one to take. It's basically a get out of death (or jail, I suppose) free card if you can use it at the right time. Unfortunately, most people don't speak the language or have a passport that would allow them to leave the country. So you might have problems there.

Changing eye color at will would be cool as well, but not as useful in an emergency.

I could escape from everywhere by teleporting to Tirana, Albania.

gonna increase my skull diameter by an inch and concuss the FUCK out of myself.

Red. Rob a bank in a balaclava.

The Cantonese speaking dog is pretty cool. I like the Albania teleporting till I realized I need to get out of Albania

Looks like I’m gettin’ away scot free with a clean five dollarydoos.

Black, red could be useful for evading the law. Could probably profit off purple. The skull one probably has some side effect I'm not aware of.

There's a lot of room for interpretation with purple, but 80 million people speak Cantonese. I would be a fool not to take it.

Red, can I also change each eye to a different colour?

Uhmmmm can I also teleport back from Albania? If so, then sure. I hate travelling so I never really go far, being able to go to Albania and back at the blink of an eye would be chill. Going for a nice lunch walk and then teleport back. Otherwise I'll go with the eye colour I guess, the rest is useless.

The black teleport one. You rob a bank and then teleport away so you can't be tracked? The means of escape is usually how they track you down. So, suddenly being able to teleport thousands of miles in a moment?

Also, it'd be really useful for interstellar stuff. You only need enough fuel, food, and air to go one way. Strap me onto the rocket to Mars! I'd even hop back with huge sacks of Mars rocks to give to NASA. We've figured out the trek to Mars, its the getting back that's been the problem.

ITT: a lot of people who don't commit crimes because they're afraid they'd get caught instead of, you know, ethics.

Getting a speaking dog is so amazingly superior it's not even funny

Red pill,I guess 🤷‍♂️

Teleport. Easiest heist of my life.

I have no idea who Luol Deng is but a meal is a meal.

Give me dat blue pill and drop me in Schism. Those weird clay people look like they know how to party!