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Boop (lemmy.nz)
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[-] mr_account@lemmy.world 107 points 9 months ago

Iirc the actual wording used in the bibble was something like "showered her in gold." Take that how you like

[-] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 94 points 9 months ago
[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 41 points 9 months ago
[-] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 9 months ago

It tastes just like raisins

[-] deacon@lemmy.world 21 points 9 months ago

Oops, wrong thing.

GIVE IT BACK

[-] tangonov@lemmy.ca 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

By the stroke of his mane he turns into plane and he turns back again when you tug on his winkie!

[-] Black616Angel@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 9 months ago
[-] tangonov@lemmy.ca 4 points 9 months ago

Do ya think so? Then I better not show you how the lemonade is made!

[-] beccaboben@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Ooo sweet lemonade, yes sweet lemonade!!

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[-] Kirp123@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago

Zeus did it first. Can't believe he's just a copycat.

[-] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 10 points 9 months ago

I know the term, but that's not how people get pregnant!

[-] Cobrachicken@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

One can try.

[-] 5too@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

That's not how you get someone pregnant!

[-] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 4 points 9 months ago

Is this a challenge to a breed-off?

[-] mr_account@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

More like a pissing contest

[-] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 4 points 9 months ago

Na, I'm out then. I'm rather uncoordinated currently as I'm sick and drinking amounts of ginger tea nobody should drink.

[-] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 2 points 9 months ago

Can we have a breed-off in 3-5 business days then?

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[-] lauha@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

I would like to shower in God's golden shower

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[-] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 59 points 9 months ago

The Christian god must be shy as fuck to send a local manager with the package...

[-] Aedis@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Probably not a serious answer, but as a tangent, iirc St. Thomas Aquinas believed that angels were not actual beings or messengers and didn't posses a soul. They are direct extensions of god, as we would have arms and legs as extensions or apendages, angels are the "arms and legs" of god.

Edit: because some people have shown interest, the idea that angels at some point rebelled against god and Lucifer became their leader is from a 1667 poem called Paradise Lost by John Milton.

Its an amazing work of fiction that ties in to some already existing mythos at the time (like the hierarchy of angels, from cherubs to seraphim) but it has nothing to do with what's in religious texts, either Jewish, Christian or Muslim.

[-] Rooty@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

That makes the whole story of Lucifer being the rebellious angel moot. Tools do not rebel.

[-] Aedis@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

They don't. The Lucifer rebellion against god is from Paradise Lost by John Milton (1667) and is not mythology or in any texts. Pure fiction, pretty amazing at that, but definitely doesn't have the same origin as the angels.

[-] Jacob_Mandarin@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago
[-] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

You can't rebel unless it's in god's plan. Ergo, he's putting on a little puppet play and playing both sides.

[-] Aedis@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

The rebellion is from paradise lost, not in any religious text I thought? I'm no expert.

[-] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Restless leg syndrome

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[-] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 9 months ago

Maybe he's cheating us with other worlds and that was just his way of mass delivery

[-] GlendatheGayWitch@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

At least one of the gospels says that the Holy Spirit "comes upon" Mary and then she is pregnant. Gabriel was just the messenger that she would carry a child.

The story is different depending on which gospel you read

[-] Branch_Ranch@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

So god pulled out and came on her belly?🤔

[-] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 2 points 9 months ago

Clearly his pull out game is weak then...

[-] TypFaffke@feddit.org 4 points 9 months ago

Wouldn't want to leave a paper trail while conceiving yourself

[-] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 9 months ago

So the Christian god mpregged himself and instead of delivering it himself, he used a mortal human woman as surrogate mother¹?

¹(which would explain the whole pregnancy without jizz for Mary shenanigans)

[-] P00ptart@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Lazy is more like it. Dude hasn't even spoken to his kids in 2000 years.

[-] Someplaceunknown@leminal.space 48 points 9 months ago
[-] thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 42 points 9 months ago

it took me a while, but it's the nativity story. the angel gabriel knocks up mary and then asks if she came.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Gabriel didn't knock her up. The Holy Spirit came upon her (giggity). In other words, God himself/part of the trinity. Not a mere angel like Gabe or Mike.

[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 20 points 9 months ago

Christianity is great--how many other religions were started when a wife cheated on her husband? And don't bring up Zeus because that shit was already in full swing when he started waving his dick(s) around.

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

IIRC, the titans before the olympians were just as much into infidelity and came from Gaea fucking Uranus (giggity).

[-] ThatGuyNamedZeus@feddit.org 14 points 9 months ago
[-] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 9 months ago
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[-] GlendatheGayWitch@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

It's a joke about Mary becoming pregnant with Jesus. Although I'm not sure why Gabriel is the one doing it. At least one of the gospels says that the Holy Spirit "comes down upon" her to impregnate her and Gabriel was just the messenger who told Mary that she would carry a child.

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[-] TheJesusaurus@sh.itjust.works 10 points 9 months ago

Wait now, does this motherfuckwr have 3 dads are you telling me? 

[-] SSETranquility@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Merry Christmas

[-] Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

I'm pretty sure that 12 year old temple prostitute was preganant when Joseph won her by raffle.

[-] InFerNo@lemmy.ml 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I'm pretty sure that 12 year old temple prostitute was preganant when Joseph won her by raffle.

Pregananant

¡Prregante!

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this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2025
557 points (95.9% liked)

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