Women can self-loathe too. The mistake some men make is thinking they're all the same.
this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2026
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Women are not a unified organism controller by a singular hive mind? Isn't that the job of Queen Kerrigan?
Nah, Kerrigan is the Queen Bitch of the Universe. Only controls bitches.
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Its called avoidant bonding type.
Yeah, some people want to be abused too, and they feel the ick if the person isn't abusive and starts avoiding them.
i had an ex who broke up with me because I wouldn't physically beat her, and like kept trying to goad me into punching and hitting her.
and no not in a bdsm way, it was in a 'my daddy beat my mom and that's what i think love is' way. she basically said I don't love her unless I 'show her what a real man I am by making her stay with me'.
that was one of the most fucked up nights of my life. took me like two years to get over that. some people are truly and seriously emotionally fucked up and think they are 'right' and everyone else is 'wrong'.
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Which is ironic cos no bonding gets done in that case
So you just stop bonding?
Basically yes. Once things get too "close" or too "real" people with that attachment style tend to get really scared and bail.
If you think of it like everyone has their ideal "closeness" range, it makes more sense.
Some people like to be extremely close and become one combined person. Others like to keep partners at arm's length. Neither one is "wrong", they're just incompatible with each other.
If you get two compatible avoidant people, they tend to keep things casual and aloof, but know each other very well over the years. They just don't usually live in the same house.
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She found out he can't spell tries
- relax
- don't get attached to the idea of the person, spend time and get attached to the legacy you've built together.
- be yourself, as quaint as that sounds. Nobody likes the stressed out "I gotta get her or Ill die" kind of vibe. Be a friend first.
- if she ghosts you then count your blessings, you probably dodged a bullet.
Think of it this way: remember that sleepover playdate that lasted two days too long? You both had enough before it was over?
Yes that thing, some people like to keep their eyes open for that kinda stuff before stepping into a relationship. And it's a good practice. Other people have that "yes let's go!!!" kinda thing and that clashes sometimes.
Anyway that's what I've learned so far.
Impossible challenge: write a greentext without making it about a 'girl'
Most "greentext" is propaganda to make everyone hate each other.
Which makes it all double gay and square fake
And of course it turned out moot is directly linked to the Epstein class.
Go find some other greentexts then and post them here.
that's not at all impossible, a lot of the time it's really about a guy
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This sounds pretty typical to me.
They like each others looks, and start talking a bit. She realizes just how many red flags anon is raising, and starts to backpedal.
Fuck women impossible to understand amirite.
Edit: nothing is black and white, especially when it come to people. I was just pointing out one of the likely scenario that hadn't been pointed out when I posted.
Thats not a problem with "liking someone back." I think the post would have read along the lines of " i hate when someone isn't who they seem to be" in your scenario.
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I don't really think it's that simple.
I think it's about that weird thing people (not women) do that makes them attracted to strangers but not friends. I find it mentioned everywhere, both online and offline.
I think that's what anon is experiencing too.
I really don't understand why people just lose all attraction as soon as mysteriousness is no longer a factor. And I've seen it happen with my own damn eyes, to me AND others.
I don't get it.
It's as if as soon as I become readily available to anyone, I suddenly become much more worthless and disposable too... Suddenly every other aspect of theif life takes priority and I'm number last. I guess because other things are only available conditionally whereas I'm pretty much always available? Idk.
Also if I'm not interested in someone, that someone always wants to interact. It's as if life constantly works to spite me.
Edit: I'm so glad I didn't get downvoted to oblivion...I feel so validated. Thanks y'all...
Getting to know people better can change your feelings about them... sometimes it makes them more attractive and sometimes less. I don't know if anyone has found me less attractive after getting to know me but I've certainly had that happen with girls I've been attracted to.
If it's a common experience for you it's probably worth exploring whether or not it's a you problem, and if so if it's something you can and should correct. There's no shortage of crappy, shallow people so maybe not but being introspective and honest with yourself is always good for you.
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they lose attraction because they were never attracted to the person. they are attracted to the fantasy of the person.
and once you become too 'real' you destroy the fantasy and they have no more interest.
Why do you think romance books are SO HOT right now? because they are pure fantasy and lots of ladies want nothing but a fantasy romance and they are addicted to daydreaming, and they compare the real world romance to and it and angry it doesn't 'live up' to the storybooks they read.
it's like if a a guy was very angry and mad that he didn't have superpowers after watching a bunch of Marvel movies or comic books... it's absurd... people would mock and laugh at him.
but you if you tell women that they will just claim you are a misogynist and you are defending men for 'failing' by not being minotaur billionaires that they feel they 'deserve'.
Why do you think romance books are SO HOT right now? because they are pure fantasy and lots of ladies want nothing but a fantasy romance and they are addicted to daydreaming, and they compare the real world romance to and it and angry it doesn’t ‘live up’ to the storybooks they read.
The irony is that a bunch of boys got into incel culture because a lot of the media they consumed had women as a prize or "side effect" of being the hero or a "good guy", but got blindsided by real life not giving them any.
I don't think that's ironic, it just happens to ~~both~~ all genders because it's a "people" thing, not a gender thing.
People will say "men do this" or "women do this" depending on context, but really a lot of that could go either way.
It's seen as misogynistic when people talk about women doing it, but when they talk about men doing that just seems all very well.
Why can't we just say humans are flawed beings and leave it at that? There's a lot of ways the media influences our perceptions, and not all of them good. Especially when it comes to gender dynamics.
I mean, just watch any rom-com from before 2010. Half of the stuff you see in them would be a Title IX violation on any college campus these days.
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Nah I was raised female and legit had friends like this some women (as with men) just never grow up. On a very tangentially related note I've been reflecting recently on the very primal attractiveness of a man who is visibly strong and horny enough to fuck me up but who is also visibly restraining themselves. The testosterone + self control combo is just an immediate vagina geyser.
There's all kinds of people out there, that's for sure. Some women (and men) do like the bulky, rough on the edges but overall caring type, but some don't appreciate that virility and attention from a partner and prefer a more candid approach, others are almost self-destructive and inevitably go for guys that I wouldn't give the time of day, to each their own.
My point is mostly that there're a lot of reasons people don't click, there's nothing wrong with that.
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Yeah, the whole situation is too vague to read for certain, even if it really happened.
I do find it more likely that this was a "Never meet your crushes" than an "OMG wtf would they like me" just out of the blue.
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It's funny, I have had that exact experience with guys when I was young. The second I started returning the interest, they would drop me like I was a venomous snake and go flirt with someone else.
Until I met my boyfriend I just thought men didn't want women to like them back. Color me confused when the pre historic version of incel/manosphere culture began bitching about women playing hard to get back in the late 2000s/early 2010s on various forums.
Was over here like: y'all are the ones who run for the hills whenever a girl shows you she likes you, though. 🤷♀️
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This is why you date, wheat from chaff and all that. The day you find someone perfect is the day you can stop looking
or you just stop looking because you are sick of all the miserable bullshit and you just want to enjoy your life without other people's miserable bullshit weirdo nonsense in it.
and you're shocked that... you feel really good most days instead of feeling like shit most days... almost as of how other people treat you has a huge impact on your mental health and cutting out people who treat you poorly makes you feel a lot better about life.
I mean yea that's also an option. Being happy alone should always come before being happy with someone else, if at all.
this also works for sandwiches. enjoy every sandwich.
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Not a rare thing, really. It's a human issue, regardless of age or gender.
People can definitely get attracted to the idea of a person that lives in their heads. They fall for a fantasy, often nurturing it with daydream. That's what a 'crush' is.
Reality hits when you see them as a real person with nuanced emotions, deep personal history, and a rich inner world. The reality of a person clashes with the fantasy of them.
Often that's a good thing. People get relationship maturity that way. They grow their skills of empathy, patience, compassion. The fantasy fades for a beautiful tapestry. Even if your relationship ends, you can respect each other.
Sometimes it's an inconvenient truth. The reality of a person isn't what you want, and the fantasy of them withers in the face of it. You can even bitterly resent them for falling short of your daydreams, robbing you of their comfort.
As strange as it sounds, it is a blessing for it to happen so quickly. For many, it's something they awake to in middle age. Feeling encroaching mortality, they realise that they settled in a life that was convenient, with a partner that was attainable, rather than either being truly satisfying.
So they sabotage it, flee it, resent it, or all the above. We call it the 'mid-life crisis'.
This sucks and feels awful, but of the many ways this could've gone? This was actually one of the better ones.
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Is this why I always got ghosted? I was beginning to think they were just cruelly toying with me...
I mean, I would like first to make a point of order - "ghosting" is when someone who you already have an established relationship with stops responding to all messages. It doesn't mean "someone you were interested in but had no significant relationship with simply lost interest". For example, if you match with someone on a dating app, and then you exchange a few messages but they stop responding, they are not "ghosting" you - they have simply lost interest.
Anyway, if you have people on dating apps consistently losing interest with you, then it usually means that your problem is.... nothing. The vast majority of OLD interactions go no where. This is fine. Most people arent a good match for each other. They might have found someone who is a better match for them, or they may have simply become exhausted with dealing with OLD.
Its like if you thought someone at a party was cute, and you went and had a convo with them, and then they went to get a drink and got drawn into another convo, and then you never saw them again. They didn't "ghost" you. They aren't being mean to you. They are just living their life, and you are not a major player in it, and that's fine.
However, if you don't like how conversations just peter off sometimes, you can significantly reduce this by seeking explicit rejections instead. Be clear about what you are looking for, and then pitch meeting up in person.
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To be miserable.
And they are very very good at making themselves miserable, and going on a rant about how they this is your fault and all men are awful.
Your job in life is to avoid folks who choose to be miserable. good luck
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/> greentext about trying to woo a woman again
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