this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2026
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cross-posted from: https://piefed.world/c/politicalmemes/p/1290769/there-is-a-3rd-choice

Reposting because it was removed from another comm earlier for the political content.

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[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Jesus if he was here today: You're telling me you're getting rich and getting divorced? Time to flip some more tables...

Also, if you go by just the "red letters": WTF, why are you eating shellfish and mixing textiles?

He was a Judean from the first century AD, and held a mix of ideas that nobody really does anymore.

[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (2 children)

Where is the third thing? Open source software is left wing ffs. Proprietary software is extremely capitalist/fascist.

[–] skarn@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

You say that as if we don't continually discover right wingers, fascists, religious bigots, and conspiracy theorists within the community.

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 5 points 6 hours ago

You'll find plenty of bigots and conspiracy theorists in unions, too. Union activity is still left-wing activity.

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 6 points 13 hours ago

All Open Source / Free Software is building the commons. Strong copyleft is using the weapons of the state to help the commons stay under collective ownership.

[–] alcea@feddit.org 12 points 16 hours ago

"Dad wrote TempleOS"

Jesus said while opening the laptop with a gazillion stickers on it

[–] flamingos@feddit.uk 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Confirmed: the only divine church is the Church of Emacs.

[–] schwifty_squanch@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Stop spreading blasphemy. Everyone knows Jesus uses Vim.

[–] TheHotze@lemmy.world 16 points 23 hours ago

This is why it was considered political.

[–] ytg@sopuli.xyz 6 points 22 hours ago

Maybe unconfigured. Even Jesus Christ wouldn’t be able to handle the Vimscript.

[–] ClassifiedPancake@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Jesus would use Arch Linux

[–] medem@lemmy.wtf 2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that he would use KolibriOS.

[–] khanh@lemmy.zip 5 points 15 hours ago

thematically, templeOS. but i have a hunch he's use slackware or debian.

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 61 points 1 day ago (1 children)

open source software is literally a form of leftism... lol

[–] AnyOldName3@lemmy.world 59 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Technically it was the Free Software movement that was a form of Leftism, and Open Source was Capitalism's attempt to subsume it once it became apparent that it was capable of producing better software.

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 29 points 1 day ago

can't have shit in detroit

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Jesus would have been too addicted to foot fetish pics online to have any real opinions.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

List of Jesus's fetishes by biblical support:

1: foot worship 2: feeding 3: nurse cosplay 4: groups 5: S+M

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Bug chasing. Damn those healing hands.

[–] onlinepersona@programming.dev 6 points 21 hours ago (2 children)
[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 0 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Still a rich, kind of pervy Arab guy.

So, if we're talking OSs, pirated Windows with a billion viruses.

[–] Smaile@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago

sometimes i wonder if jesus today would ask himself if he'd really seen every sin in hell

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Do you think modern-day American Jesus's dad would be a software programer instead of a carpenter?

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Maybe a mechanic. It was a humble, low-education kind of job, but still a step up from working the fields. Actually, I guess it could still be construction.

(And FWIW, the original Aramaic word applies to both stone and wood workers, and there weren't a lot of trees in the Nazareth area)

[–] DahGangalang@infosec.pub 2 points 17 hours ago

Sorry for taking your comment way more seriously than of needs to be:

I'd expect Modern Jesus' dad would be a welder, which is a well paid and respected field in our time that builds things while still being very blue collar.

What's a more interesting thought is about Mary's uncle. There's conspiracy theories about Jesus that stem from the potential relationship between Jesus and his granduncle. You see, Mary's uncle was a Trader, primarily bringing tin from Britannia (modern day Great Britain) to the heart of Rome - he also founded the first Christian church outside of Palestine (coincidentally in the British Isles). Its thought that Jesus apprenticed under this uncle for a long period of time and through that saw much of the "known world". It also appears to be the origin of the myth that Jesus didn't actually ascend to heaven after resurrection, but instead dipped to Britain (leading to my favorite line from A Knight's Tale: "The Pope may be French, but Jesus Christ was English").

Most of that last part is besides the point. Chances are, that guy would equate to a tech billionaire, and has a result be the main proselytizer one behalf of a modern Jesus figure.