1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !uspolitics@lemmy.world
7) No Hit-and-Run questions.
Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
I built a shed with my dad when I was like 14 and he went "well your mother wanted me to talk to you..."
We had an awkward conversation but it was very short and he was just like "some guys have a lot of sex. Some guys don't. That's ok. It feels really good. Use protection"
It wasn't until I fucked up with some drugs as an older teenager he was like hey cool it with that nonsense.
He's a good guy haha.
My dad said I was your age onxe too. I know telling you not to do it is pointless. When you do things, don't be an idiot about it. Trust the people you're with, don't do too much, don't drive, and Jesus Christ if you're in a situation where you need to call me at 3am you better call me. Am I going to be irritated I got woken up? Yeah but, I'll get over that. I can't fix you being dead.
My Mom did the sex talk. Don't really remember it but, it resulted in birth control 2 years before I even stated dating so I was safe.
"Don't put your mouth where you wouldn't put your fingers first"
"If you don't want dirt on your dick when you ride a horse use a blanket or keep your pants on"
"Hey, keep your own tissues and lotion in your room"
"I had a patient that had gonoria so bad that he just tried ignoring it. We had to peel those nasty underwear off of him, smelling liked something died. Anyways wear a condom."
"God never says sex is a sin, we're even commanded to go have kids, but what makes lust a sin is when you get it twisted and think your desire matters more then someone elses humanity."
The actual "talk" never happened because I talked about sex with my parents (kids in school were talking about it in general) first and they said "I know you know about sex already but you should know it's not appropriate to talk about it with anyone yet, when you're older you'll get it for now just be a kid." Or something like that
My parents side stepped having this conversation by letting their first child serve as a negative example for the rest of us
My experience was the same as everyone else's here: strict christian upbringing, not talking about things because they're "bad", and making up answers to things mum and dad don't know.
I'm trying to figure out parenting now. My plan, and I'm sure it won't survive contact with the enemy, is to be as open, thorough, and honest as I can be about sex and drugs.
While it is scary for me, I do want my kids to experiment with these things, but I want them to do it with as much contextual information as I can provide.
"The talk" which I plan to give often, as commonly talked about house rules, is that there's two ways adolescents can inadvertently change the course of their lives: car accidents, and getting pregnant.
lol. don't do drugs. sex does not exist.
I see you also recieved the universal basic education.
that was parents. I was lucky enough that the public education system went through the parts and disease and pregnancy and birth control and disease prevention. Kinda funny though as they never really get into the sex act. Even the catholic junior high I went to covered the parts and how babies were made but did not talk about birth control except none are guaranteed so celibacy is the only sure way to not get pregnant/impregnate or get disease. They also seperated girls and boys for the class.
I refer to your original statement as the universal basic education that patents give when they're too awkward to talk about sex. Your original statement covered the entirety of what I was told. My school said nothing of sex ed. My biology teacher asked us to read the chapter on reproduction ourselves because she wasn't going to cover it but it would be on the finals. So I'm basically self taught for all matters involving sex. The rule was that no one is to speak of sex. Even drugs weren't talked about at all. It was just presumed that drugs will be avoided. Smoking was discouraged strongly enough that I think it was presumed that the same message applied to any substance misuse.
Holy shit we can edit titles here. I got to fix a typo; what a dream. Fuck Reddit.
no
my parents only talked to me to tell me how disappointed they were in my good grades and success in my clubs and activities.
Oh little Askew, I think you're fucking amazing and it's my genuine honor to watch you conquer new things at activity club.
My mother: My best friend Ruthy was the sort of person who thought a best friend was someone who gives you their last tab of speed during exams. My best friend in highschool, hearing this: So you had speed in highschool? My mother: oh ugh um ahh well.
My mother also advised us that if we thought a bar was watering down drinks we should order black russians because vodka is more alcoholic but kahlua is more expensive. Also never buy white rum because you might as be drinking vodka - this was meant as an insult to both vodka and white rum.
Open and honest. If you were old enough to ask a question you were old enough for a relatively complete answer. No judgement or lecture. Just the truth.
I do the same for my kids.
The goated answer.
What conversation? You guys had conversations?
Same. Luckily common sense and open friends were enough for me to be informed.
Sex and drugs are fine but don't neglect your rock and roll.
My mom worked in a hospital, so she saw the worst of the worst that comes from drugs. Naturally she was very anti-drug
When I was about 15, my grandma told me "If you don't want her to be a mommy, always remember to wrap your salami."
That was about it, and yes, it was as strange as it sounds.
Mom went to Woodstock.. The first one.. so being exposed to sexual behavior and being around drugs were a part of my childhood environment. The 1970's were WAY more free-swinging than it is now. Because it was in my environment, it became all rather ho-hum.
When it's around all the time - it loses the appeal of being "forbidden fruit."
My parents bought me a book about sex and never talked about it.
We never talked about drugs because I never showed any interest and the PSAs seemed like enough.
Having sex before marriage is a sin. Defiling your body is a sin. Repeat ad infinitum.
Did you grow up to defile your body and sin?
My parents were like "love who you want to love just don't make me have to visit you in prison"
Non-existant. However, my older brother did have Fanny Hill, Lady Chatterly's Lover, Portnoy's Complaint & The Doors of Perception on his shelf - and we also had encyclopedias.