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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Sister communities
- !tenforward@lemmy.world : Star Trek memes, chat and shitposts
- !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world : Lemmy Shitposts, anything and everything goes.
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I had an opportunity to socialize with some young people recently and the one thing that struck me the most was how far ahead the girls were in social skill and maturity.
I don't think this has anything to do with sex difference or nature. I think that girls are simply expected to pay attention to other people and boys aren't.
I don't exempt myself, I was a solipsistic goblin at that age.
Maybe. I've always heard that women mature more quickly than men. Certainly women hit puberty earlier. Its very hard to sus out the differences from nature and nurture.
The 2 often feed off each other too. E.g. men are slightly stronger than women, on average. Men are then expected to take on the strong protector role, while women are expected to act weak and subservient. This amplifies the original slight difference massively, reinforcing the social stereotype.
Women seem to have a preference for cooperation, with their ranking within the group mattering most. Men seem to err towards intergroup competition, where your teams ranking matters most. These necessitate different types of social skills, which feeds the stereotype, which feeds the original difference.
Men being slightly stronger on average than women has a LOT to do with culture.
When I was a kid, girls weren't even allowed to do the same calisthenics in school. There was severe social opprobrium for women doing strength training, learning martial arts, etc.
This is one of the things about the patriarchy, the things it enforces are seen as natural. Women are put in clothes that limit their mobility, beauty standards demand frailness, etc.
It's also an unfortunate fact that testosterone makes it a LOT easier to put on muscle mass. A good chunk of men don't take advantage of it, but the biology still holds. It's also worth noting that men are on average taller than women. Our volume of muscle is often bigger to start with.
My wife does quite a bit more strength based exercise than I do. The force multiplier on my exercise however means I can easily out power her, when it comes to brute strength.
It's worth noting however that a lot of the initial strength gain of exercise isn't muscle increase, but better control. Both men and women can increase this, fairly evenly. The difference tells most once that caps out.
Grew up in a world where girls were only expected to be more mature than boys.
Nah. Girls tend* (and this is doing the heavyweight championship of this sentence) to be naturally more empathetic from my PoV, which coupled with actually faster develepoment and higher expectation of maturity produces the "mature and empathetic" image of girls. Also noticed back then that girls were more social oriented than guys. Guys got together to do a thing, meanwhile girls were fine just sitting around and talking.
* Half or more girls I met growing up still escaped this in varying degree, but baseline tendency was still higher than in boys where this was exceptional.
Although, all in all, it's all based on personal experience so I may be way off the mark.
Emotional intelligence helps with reading emotional climate but is terrible for emotional weather.
A good therapist can feel like they're reading your mind.
Emotional intelligence isn't the only skill involved in that, still a big part of it.
I read this graph also as in "you need to change" and "i can't change you", understanding you can't control anyone else can give you great amounts of inner peace.
My ex was a big fan of that phrase, "I can't read minds." I did all the managing of her emotions for her. There definitely can be a lack of communication, but I think the meme rings of "I refuse to empathize with you without you needing to do all the work bridging that gap," but that also might just be my own experience. If I wanted to be heard and understood, I had to explain it like a toddler.
As an example, "hey love, leaving dirty cookware out to get crusty means it's not available when I want to cook" did not elicit a change in behavior. Neither did the next two times, "hey, you left the pan out again, if you do that it makes it difficult for me when I need to cook." She made excuses each time. When I finally hit my breaking point and spell it out, "it really upsets me when you don't clean up after yourself. please stop doing that! clean your dishes after you use them. I have made it very clear that this behavior upsets me, it hurts me that you keep doing it," I get the classic "I can't read minds," because I didn't explicitly tell her to clean up after herself.
The same went for eating snacks I purchased for myself, or leaving wet clothes in the washer, or leaving trash out, or not taking the full trash out and instead piling on top of it, etc. If I didn't explicitly say "I need you to do this. Please do this. Do this now," it wouldn't get done, even if I have made it very clear how that behavior makes me feel. When commiserating with friends, it is clear that this isn't just me that has experienced this. "I can't read minds" seems to more often be used by those that cannot empathize or listen to their partners, regardless of gender.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of examples of those that do not communicate well and expect as it was put, mind reading, but far more often it seems like that phrase is really just a crutch for the emotionally unintelligent. No one should require explicit instructions to empathize with your partner. If my partner is clearly upset by something and I'm not sure what, I ask them, and a good partner will never expect you to know already (unless they've already told you multiple times and you cannot take a hint). Pay attention to what your partners say and make your expectations and desires clear.
Wow, everybody in the comments of this post sucks.
That's what I'm here for 