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Deflating a claim has never stopped a right-winger to keep using the argument.
They rely on "random made up story that supports their beliefs" over anything factual anyways. Maybe throw Jesus into it for extra points
And are usually shocked when policies based on those stories don't produce the results promised, blame the guy who did the implementation wrong to vote in another guy to try the same ideas again.
Nothing stops right wingers, including the words “no” and “stop”. With right wingers, the only boundaries are theirs. Be careful, their boundaries are super delicate though!
To the surprise of no one with an IQ higher than their shoe size.
Sometimes life does unintuitive things. I still think it's great this study was carried out.
@floofloof I heard once somewhere that the rate of regrets about Harry Potter tattoos is higher than the rates of people who regret transitioning but I don't have a source for that.
Imagine getting a fun little wizard tattoo in the year 2000, then watching in horror as JK Rowling reveals her true poisonous colours over the next 25 years. It's not surprising many people would have regrets over that.
@floofloof could be worse! What if you named one of your kids after a character!
Oh it can get worse, it was common for a while for trans women to name themselves after a character. Yeah a lot of Liliths used to be Lillies.
And yeah I have an ex with a Harry Potter tattoo and a trans kid
@captainlezbian :-(
If it's for the former, yeahhhh
For the latter, well she's a supportive mom who was happy to openly date a trans woman. She just hadn't gotten around to covering up the tattoo
Nothing deflates a right-wing ego. Wait a minute... is there something that does?
Yes, actually. The right wing ego can sometimes deflate after an issue personally affects them. That is, of course, only if they realise that it was the leopards who ate their face and they can't find a scapegoat.
Funny enough, trans rights themselves deflate their ego.
“Why would someone who was born male want to be a woman! Male is superior!”
It challenges their masculinity and their very belief.
Obviously, the main stream media is misconstruing what the right-wing study actually said. It says "Republicans regret getting horny on main over teenagers who received gender-affirming care." How can a Republican reasonably be expected to worry about a child's genitals while they're busy trying to gain access to children's genitals???
Duck you. This is not new, nor is it the only one, one of few, nor is this not known. They just aren't listening anymore and likely never have been
I wish we had more data about the experience of those after bottom surgery. I can't imagine there isn't issues with incontnence, loss of sexual pleasure, infections and longer term complications. I really fear that people opting for such surgery are way too optimistic about the state of our actual medical capabilities.
You'd be amazed at how far science has come with bottom surgery. But I agree with the other commenter: it's not really your business to care.
If you did, you'd have more knowledge on modern procedures, and would be able to easily imagine what the consequences to such decisions are rather than assuming how bad they might be.
Here's a site that should answer most of your questions clearly:
Thanks for the link. Yes I have a daughter considering this. When I look it up I only find generic descriptions and 'it will take 2-3 weeks to heal', which really sounds unrealistic to me. I worry that surgeons doing this kind of work over sell it, and the desire of patients for it to be as good as they hope might cloud their judgement of the realities.
2-3 weeks to heal is wishful thinking. That's the first healing stage, after which my surgeon allowed me to do things more than light lifting. 4-6 weeks to return to work. 3 months to have sex. But healing generally continues until about a year post op. Incidentally it took me about a year to be able to orgasm (it's been several years now and I'd say it's probably easier now than pre op)
My surgeon was a reputable surgeon at a reputable institution and showed me pictures of her work during consultation and gave me realistic expectations. There were complications (there often are) but they were ultimately temporary issues. And the trans community gave me a realistic but positive expectation compared to my personal experience.
If you have any questions I may be able to answer some. If anything push your daughter to look up and ask around about surgeons (word gets around about bad ones) and push her towards reputable ones who are willing to make her feel comfortable in their care and who explain what's going on and what's going to happen to her.
Thanks so much for the info. That description is actually is very reassuring to me as it feels much more realistic to me. And reasonable. It's a reputable institution (in Montreal). Part of the issue here is that my daughter with severe ADHD, possibly autistic, and huge anxiety issues can't really organize doing this herself. So if it's going to happen I'll have to be actively involved even though she's an adult. So I feel rather responsible and need to be educated, but the doctors won't talk to me directly since I'm not the patient.
Yeah, it's a physically and emotionally brutal recovery process. I'm grateful I did it, but I also don't really think you can be fully prepared for it. And if your daughter has an opiate allergy be aware that makes it harder. Idk if I've ever been in more physical pain than the first week. You're exhausted, in pain, may have been off your hormones for a month and your junk looks like a wreck and doesn't work and you're terrified of if it's going to heal right. And much like how fully healing is long and slow, so is getting through the difficult part.
And yeah I get where you're coming from and assume you're pushing to help her become more functional if possible. And while I understand your fears and worries relating to your involvement, it's good that the doctors won't talk to you directly.
Idk about Montreal, but in the US I needed three letters of recommendation to get insurance to pay for surgery (surgeons need 1-3 depending): an endocrinologist/primary care physician saying I've been on hormones for at least a year, a psychiatric professional saying that I was fit to make the decision, and a therapist (I think it had to be one I hadn't seen before) to say that I'd seriously thought it through and understood what it entailed. That's about as thorough as it can and should be.
But in general by making sure she's talked to people who've been through it and with a therapist that says she's prepared for it, it should be something she can handle. If the surgeon is wrong for her there are others though it'll be harder. It's a difficult balance of speed, quality, and availability and yeah it's better for her to figure out her path and what mental work she'll need to do sooner rather than towards the end of a waitlist
Are you sure it's weeks you read and not months? 2-3 months is a pretty standard timeframe to recover from a vaginoplasty
Thanks. I suspect the 2-3 weeks that my daughter has quoted is the timeframe that she will be unable to do much of anything. I'm not sure if she realizes that though. 2-3 months seems much more likely.
This is something that a doctor would go over with any patient before any surgery as a part of informed consent.
A patient will be informed of outcomes, possible complications and the likelihood of those complications.
I can’t imagine there isn’t issues with incontnence, loss of sexual pleasure, infections and longer term complications. I really fear that people opting for such surgery are way too optimistic about the state of our actual medical capabilities.
Ask yourself carefully, what actually led you to this conclusion? There's a lot of fear mongering and misinformation about trans surgeries. There's part of folks that just simply want to believe it must be too good to be true, that there has to be some sort of horrible Faustian cost for crossing what seems like such an extreme line.
Like, I've actually met cis people who believe that getting SRS means you can never orgasm again. As if a complete lack of sexual pleasure is the terrible cost every trans person must pay if they want the right parts.
It's bollocks. Are there complications? Sure. Any surgery has them. But if you really interrogate your feelings on this, you'll find that your feelings are not actually based on a real informed assessment of the actual surgical risks. More likely, your feelings have been shaped by a combination of deliberate propaganda and some deep sense that there simply "must" be some terrible price people have to pay for such a transformative surgery. Part of your brain thinks there simply has to be a terrible downside for crossing such a massive social line.
I hear you, but I really don't think that's it. And yes, I really don't know the complications, I'm only surmising based on what I know about surgery, and about the way humans can get permanently damaged and can heal. I've had other surgeries and it's very not fun, and there are always scars, limitations on recovery, and prolonged issues, and then recurrences of more issues as I get older. Srs seems like there's a lot of complicated rearrangements and lots to go wrong. I really wish there was an easy foolproof way for people to change their genitalia if they wanted, but I simple don't have the faith in our medical capabilities. I really don't think I have have any social line about changing gender. People should be free to do whatever they want if it doesn't hurt anyone else. I was brought up with the notion that there shouldn't be considered any differences between sexes. Wear a dress, play with trucks - it doesn't matter what's between your legs. Being gay was normalized, and any fashion sense was independent of sex. Of course I realize society hasn't moved that far, and I see how just buying into conservative sexual prejudice but changing your gender is basically the same thing, and maybe easier. But to me it's the wrong fight / wrong direction. And so unnecessary surgery (from that perspective) seems really silly. But I truely get that I don't understand what it's like to be trapped in the wrong body sex.
It's only unnecessary if you view trans people as only transitioning gender, not sex.
I very much identify with the latter language. I didn't just change my gender. I fundamentally altered my sex. If it were all about gender, then yes, changing your presentation would be all that's needed. And for some trans folks, it is just about altering gender. The term "transsexual" fell out of favor for a variety of reasons, but we did lose something when we moved away from it. Many trans people want to and actually do change their sex.
When I fill out a form and put down my sex, I list female. My body is entirely estrogen-dominated. My body metabolizes medication like a cis woman. I have female external anatomy. If I had been born with an identical (age appropriate) version of the body I have now? I would have been assigned female at birth. This is why I say I changed my sex, not just my gender. When defining sex, bigots choose to obsess over chromosomes because that's one thing medical science can't change. If tomorrow we figured out how to change chromosomes, bigots would suddenly decide something else defines someone's "true sex." If I got a uterine transplant and gave birth to a kid, bigots would say, "doesn't matter, only reproductive capacity at birth matters. Because reasons."
Some (perhaps most) trans people have a deep need to fundamentally change their sex. It's not just about gender. It's about having a body with the correct sex. For me, the old "born in the wrong body" narrative is quite descriptive.
Maybe you need to change your framework. Don't focus too much on the social stuff. Instead imagine how you would feel if you woke up in an opposite-sex body tomorrow. God switches your sex overnight and just leaves you to deal with it. How would you react to that? If you think you would just be OK with it and say, "well, doesn't matter what's between your legs, guess I'm a man/woman now!"....well that contradicts the lived experience of most every trans person out there. Odds are if that happened to you, you would be so distraught by the fact that you would quickly begin a medical transition process of your own. You might not survive long enough to even begin it.
I can't know exactly how your kid views things. But if they're interested in genital surgery, odds are they lean into more of the "changing sex" than "just changing gender" camp.
Trans people do not seek medical care simply because it helps us fit into a social role better. For many of us, our bodies are simply the wrong sex, and we are fixing that. Much of the confusion around this disappears when you realize trans people are just trying to fix their sex. This need would still exist even if we lived in a completely androgynous society totally free of gender.
Thanks. I really appreciate your perspective.
this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2026
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