Imagine a room full of extroverts. This would essentially be a circus without audience.
Its just a horde. Somebody gets lynched within like an hour.
The extroverts I met usually get along very well
Lots of people in here talking about the false dichotomy completely missing the point of the post: Society puts a lot of pressure for people to be extroverted but not the other way around.
It definitely is seen as a problem to be fixed
Because it scares the "others." They don't want your thoughts quiet in your head. They want them out loud where they can assess and judge you.
During the pandemic, our CEO did a company-wide meeting and told us to reach out to extroverts because they were really suffering. And yeah I get that but can't the extroverts just reach out to each other and save everyone else the hassle? I mean that's already kind of their schtick.
I remember saying at the time that the lockdown was basically the world flipping from Extrovert World to Introvert World temporarily, and as an introvert who essentially has to live permanently in Extrovert World it was wild to see how quickly and utterly the extroverts fell apart when they had to exist in Introvert World even for a short while. And it wasn't just like "oh they're unhappy." It felt legit dangerous, they were ready to burn it all to the ground.
People were taking flights to podunk US towns just to go to bars because they were all closed in large coastal cities. Crazy.
A lot of them moved permanently. I live in a podunk state and yeah. When we got the vaccine, there was a whole new crop of established people at the bars and they were all assholes.
Same at our company. People had to get therapy because of how horrible everything was and how hard it was to be isolated and work from home.
Meanwhile I had never been happier in my life. No one interrupted my work, I had all communication in writing on slack, and I could take micro breaks and throw a load in the washer or handle some small task during the day and still get hours to spare and money saved due to not having a commute.
I often think that "return to office" was "extroverts want a captive audience and don't care how miserable they are."
That, and some people really thrive in an environment where their communication lacks a paper trail because they're duplicitous assholes.
The funny thing is, introverts were struggling too I'm sure, they just didn't tell anyone about it like the extroverts did
Being confined to the same house as an extrovert? Yeah, that was struggling.
Struggling to find an open grocery store in the middle of the night so I could shop with nobody around, sure. (Lots of formerly 24 hour businesses are still closed by 10 now, annoyingly)
Yeah, I miss not having to remember what time the grocery store closes.
"start masking yourself because you make other people uncomfortable"
I hate that our society endlessly rewards people that are highly social, early birds with money. I didn't grow up with any of that.
It’d be like “Extroverted? You’ve got ADHD.”
As an introverted ADHD guy, I dissent
There are so many terms or pairs of opposites that should be totally neutral, but are in fact valued very obviously and often in a completely unspoken and subconscious way.
What I mean is, 'extrovert - introvert': both terms just objectively describe something. They do not value one over the other, and everybody who thinks about it for a few minutes should understand that it's about finding a balance. But society (or something) values 'extrovert' as "good", opposed to 'introvert', and you will find it very hard to overcome that even if you see it.
As I said, there are many more (pairs of) terms like this. Another would be 'freedom - rules'. It's very hard to argue in favor of rules when the other keeps saying "but freedom".
Society also values waking up early for some reason.
As an introverted night person I really feel this lol. Also society absolutely does not respect any deviation from this. I actually tried it once a few years ago, I was out of work temporarily but I had enough savings that I was okay for a few months, so for the first month I just decided to recharge. Part of that was keeping to my natural sleep cycle, which is to wake up sort of late-morning-early afternoon and then stay up late to like 4-5 in the morning.
I had no work pressure to be up early, so it was only social. I told all my close friends I was doing this, and I was putting my phone on Do Not Disturb while I was asleep, so in the mornings I was essentially unreachable. Almost every single one of them said "Oh yeah no worries" and almost every single one of them ignored it completely and I'd wake up with a bunch of missed calls and texts. Some of them got properly mad. Someone called me and I didn't answer so they came over and started knocking on the door. None of it was for anything important, all of them were told I was going to be asleep.
It's the same for working from home. People just show up wanting to hang out as if you have the day off, or ask you to watch their kid or whatever. Same thing, you can say to them "I am working at my job, if I was in an office would you show up there for this?" And they'll say they understand, then a week or so later it's back to the same thing.
I realize this makes my friends sound horrible lol. They're not, I just meant to illustrate that society in general is really weird about anything that doesn't fit in the normal boundaries.
im usually very extroverted, id love an article like that
any tips?
This is going to sound weird, but: actually shut your mouth. Physically keep it shut. You'll end up talking anyway, and that's okay. When you notice you're talking more than most again, physically shut your mouth.
And when you notice someone else talking, wait until they stop talking before you start. Like actively count to 3 when they have said their last word. Holes in a conversation aren't a bad thing, especially if they are as short as this.
As an extroverted person? Play some online games with the mic on and talk to your team. They'll tell you to shut up constantly, :D
Seriously though, if you get your energy from meeting people like I do. It's important to be self-reflective more and do hobbies that are calming. I can draw for hours and it's amazing or even calligraphy! I've been doing crochet as well now. I just lose hours and it's a nice mindfulness exercise.
If you're concerned about talking too much then I would say just practice listening more. I wouldn't say I interrupt someone when they're talking but I do interrupt the flow sometimes because I can carry silence a lot. Which is kinda why people like having me around (convos don't get boring) ... however, I used to definitely go too far with it. So, it's good to sit back and let conversations and quietness play out and you can see how others would have carried the convo without you. I remember reading about Sir Patrick Stewart about it:
Patrick Stewart has said that playing Jean-Luc Picard changed him as a person. "...I suppose [he] even had some influence on me. I became a better listener than I ever had been as a result of playing Jean-Luc Picard because it was one of the things that he does terrifically well."
I knew I was killing conversations when I hung out with ANOTHER outgoing person and they kept doing what I was doing to a higher degree and I was like, "it's kinda nice having someone carry conversations like this ... at the same time, it's kinda draining because I can't get a word in".
If you don’t already, actively search for some time to spend by yourself. Don’t text people. Don’t go on social media (even here). Do a quiet activity (read a book, draw, write, etc.) or meditate for an hour. Feel only your thoughts.
Next time you’re with a group that isn’t all extroverts, maybe try a mini version of just existing. Appreciate silence.
All I can really think of — I honestly think both parts of these meme are reductive and inaccurate af.
That someone is an introvert or extrovert is a false dichotomy, everyone actually occupies the gray area in between and can fall on different places along that spectrum at different points in their life, or even in different situations through a single day.
Also, feeling put-upon by clickbait articles from garbage publications....c'mon
Introvert means our social batteries run out around people. There’s nothing to fix. We don’t get energy from having to navigate social situations like extroverts do.
I didn't say there's anything to fix, except maybe people's perception of themselves as all one way or the other
But people do consistently tend towards one end of that spectrum or the other. I'm several decades into life and no one would have ever considered me extroverted. My brother is the opposite.
"Learn how to shut the fuck up for like 30 seconds."
Introversion feels so mainstream now. Anybody remember the "antisocial social club" sweaters? Or all the pop songs about feeling left out at the club/party (Lorde and Charlie XCX have a few of these I think).
I'm pretty sure the internet has a big part to do with it. The introverts loved the internet. You could lurk, find communities around niche interests, post anonymously, etc. And then the internet blew up, and the internet veterans became the cool ones.
Internet veteran, and not even a properly old one I just remember AOL on CDs: nah we aren't cool, the net is full of normies now.
Take any concept, put it on a spectrum and name both ends, and people will never stop using it as their entire identity. Be just as useful as deciding if we are all gryfindor or slytherin.
You gryfindor scum would say that!
Just goes to show that everyone falls on a spectrum between providing mutual aid and hurting fascists.
It's not a disease or character flaw, for fuck's sake.
Annoyed introverts are not convinced
Unfortunately you're up against marketing types, and they don't know how to be quiet. Every time my company has an all hands regional meeting, the chat window is always full of marketing types profusely congratulating each other in public. It's painful to watch
Totally extroverted?
Here's the benefits of having friends with interiority who might be real people!
damn, i've never seen a lemmy post hit 1k upvotes before
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