Mental Health

Im constantly thinking about how other people have it worse and it just increases my depression.

I guess, wanting to continue to believe in the good in mankind, that they are hoping to lift you up, by expressing that it is "not that bad" and that "there are things to still be grateful for" … compared to what others have to go through. Sadly it doesn't works that way.

There are some, objectively "suffering more", whilst doing relatively well. And there are otherd "suffering less", who rather choose to >!end it!<, than to go on. Did the latter really suffer less, than the former?

It helps nobody to "compare" ones suffering with that of others I assume.

Good luck to you and I hope, your situation may get better soon. 🍀

Is that what your doctor said? That's horrible! With that argument you could downplay any and all suffering because you can always find someone who's worse off in some way.

I'd change doctor if I were you (and could).

Your "doctor" is trying to force you to feel empathy for others in (supposedly) worse situations than you when you're already suffering enough as it is - and doing so while seriously lacking empathy for you. Screw that asshole - they should have their degree revoked because they obviously didn't learn what they were supposed to.

That is an insane thing for a doctor to say to a patient.

Uh please report whoever told you that.

It's wrong because it's simply irrelevant. Would it change anything about your situation if you did have it worse than everyone else (other than not getting comments like this)? I presume not. You're still suffering, full stop, and that's something that should be alleviated.

There will always be someone who has it worse. So the war casualties in Iran allegedly have it worse. First off, do they really? Some might argue that prolonged suffering is worse than a sudden death via a missile. But even without that opinion, there are people who have it worse than the Iran war casualties. You could be stuck in North Korea sentenced to a lifetime of hard labor and have terrible back pain making every hour of that hard labor torture. Does that mean the casualties of the war in Iran aren't relevant anymore? I'm pretty sure just about everyone would answer no.

There's billions of people in the world. Someone somewhere is always going to have it worse. But that doesn't mean the problems you're facing right now are insignificant and should just be ignored just cause someone you've never met in a place you've never been to is suffering more than you on some arbitrary pain scale.

Your problems and pains are valid.

You should absolutely never hear this from your doctor. It's not cool, and feel totally free to convey that in any way you feel like expressing it, there's no wrong way. Also ditch them if you can.

Does your doctor specialize in mental health? A lot of general practitioners don't even bother dealing with mental health issues. Find a different doctor that does, or go down the path of psychologist/psychiatrist.

Also, just find another doctor. Next they will tell you your broken arm isn't that bad, think of amputees. Run from a doctor that doesn't have empathy.

I don't really think you want a pedagogical take on things. It would be counterproductive. Plus, that would also require citations, which would be difficult to present.

I'm not saying it couldn't be worked up, I'm just saying that the difficulties involved for what I'm confident would be an undesirable outcome make me unwilling to put the time into it.

That being said, when you present your objection to it, you'll want to focus on outcomes.

The primary reason trauma comparison shouldn't be done in therapy is that it goes against best practices. No therapist should be doing it in the first place, much less to the degree a patient feels the need to object. Even a medical doctor shouldn't do it, though they might not be aware of best practices in other fields (though they also shouldn't be trying to practice out of scope either)

But, the reason it's ill advised is that it damages what is already a difficult rapport to build. It breaks trust, it breaks the patient's comfort in opening up, and it turns even a single session adversarial, where the therapist is now someone the patient has to justify things to. That's not conducive to desired outcomes.

See, talk therapy needs to happen in a way that the patient is fully comfortable sharing everything. At any point a therapist blocks that flow of sharing by comparing the patient's experiences to an unrelated situation, at the least it slows down that session. The more that happens, the less trust there is in being heard, in knowing that you can express yourself without judgement.

Frankly, nobody should ever trauma compare, not even us filthy casuals out here trying to get by with our untrained friends and family. It's just a shitty way to treat someone that's opening up to you. You offer comfort, you express that you appreciate them sharing, that they're seen and heard. You don't say shit about the horrors someone else has unless it very directly relates so that the friend in question can know they aren't the only one going through it. You'd think that would be understood by people in general, but it needs saying.