this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2026
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WomensStuff

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[–] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 37 points 3 days ago (1 children)

At my last job (I was male presenting) I got in trouble with HR because a guy at a work table nearby told one of the women this, and I yelled back "you'd sound a lot smarter if you shut the fuck up" and I guess I was the one being inappropriate.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

“you’d sound a lot smarter if you shut the fuck up”

You weren't wrong. Lame they got you in trouble instead of him.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Can't have profanity in a workplace full of harassment. It's unprofessional

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I've been working for small companies for too long, I almost forgot about that kind of weird rules setup!

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 9 points 3 days ago

I've been working in cinema since 2012, at this point there are no rules

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 26 points 3 days ago

Common denominator and all that

[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 15 points 3 days ago (3 children)

This is not limited to women. I think that they see someone not being a grinning idiot and are confused.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 33 points 3 days ago (2 children)

It's statistically far, far more likely to be directed at women.

Do you have any idea where you're commenting?

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I've had guys stop me on the street and demand I smile. I felt like an animal at the zoo.

[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That's when you have to give them the most insane, full tooth, homicidal smile while asking them their blood type because surely someone who looks like them has nice kidneys and they'll fetch a great price at the local black market organ swap meet.

[–] boobookittyfrick@lemmy.zip 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Love the username honestly lol

[–] boobookittyfrick@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I watched this and dogma recently. God I love Kevin Smith and Jason Mews. Oh, I watched Zack and Miri too.

[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

As an introvert, I have been told the same thing. Not meant to invalidate women’s experiences with this phenomenon.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Buncha women talking about an annoying trend that disproportionately affects women. You hop in with "This doesn't just happen to women." Yeah, that is invalidating.

Are you posting in the right community?

[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 1 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Are you invalidating my experience? I’m a person too.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 4 points 2 days ago

Yes. Go share your experience somewhere else.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

You’re more than welcome to make your own post to talk about this. In a completely different community.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 28 points 3 days ago

Telling women to smile is well-documented as a type of sexist microaggression.

[–] dkppunk@piefed.social 27 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It may not be limited to women, but it’s overwhelmingly women who hear it.

I’m 42 and I’ve been hearing “you would look so much prettier if you smiled more” since I was a very young teen, often by men old enough to be my grandfather. I used to comply, now I give them the middle finger because I don’t owe anyone a smile.

[–] hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I have never been told to smile in public, and I was unable to smile during the three or so decades I lived as a man. Its not a thing they tell to men. We are expected to smile and be pretty; they aren't.

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago

Capitalism, mostly, but that's no reason to make it worse by trying to control others' emotions.