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The "No Shit September" challenge!

Parttakers:

  • must refrain from shitting for a whole month (at least),
  • can take a single cheat day, when they can take a single shit,
  • must be extremely smug about taking the pledge,
  • must tell everyone they're taking part of it.

People who fail the challenge must change their profile pictures on all social media to the shitter wojak. Those who succeed can move onto the "No Oxigen October" and "No Nut (as in food) November challenges. The challenge is done in order to raise awareness of colon cancer.

To know more about how shitting is actually unnatural, bad for your health, was made up by plumbers to both control you and sell you toilets, all while shit retention is opening your shit chakra thus leading to you acquiring psychic capabilities please watch a Chinese doctor's YouTube video on the subject: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-cfWM0BC_4

top 48 comments
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[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 2 points 1 hour ago

I'm afraid someone might take this shit seriously

[-] Burninator05@lemmy.world 1 points 48 minutes ago

The link played a video for Domino's. It's like YouTube wants me to fail the challenge.

[-] TR3@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

I’m immensely disappointed that the link wasn’t a rick-roll.

[-] bashibazouk@lemmy.world 6 points 8 hours ago

Sounds like a lot of people will be full of shit. Literally instead of just metaphorically...

[-] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 4 points 9 hours ago

Well, fuck you, I'm three shits in before I even saw this post. Fuck you. Shit on you, in fact. Shit on all of you.

[-] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

I completed a 5 day no shit music festival. Next time I'll just remember to bring paper.

[-] Godric@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

The immense power of Shitckra is not for the masses!

[-] cobysev@lemmy.world 68 points 17 hours ago

This reminds me of my high school days. In health class, we were taught that a healthy digestive system had at least one bowel movement per day. Throughout the course, we were also encouraged to promote generic healthy habits with our friends, family, and classmates; basically help each other stay accountable with their health and nutrition.

One of my friends took this to heart. He started going up to people - literally anyone - and asking in a concerned tone, "Did you poop today?"

If they gave any answer besides "yes," he would go off about all the health benefits associated with a daily bowel movement and what kinds of healthy foods and exercises would assist in having one. He would even offer to provide moral support from outside a bathroom stall if they needed it.

We all got a kick out of how deadpan and serious he played it. When the teacher asked him to knock it off, he insisted he was just concerned about promoting healthy habits, then would ask her if she had also pooped that day. To a room full of teenagers, there's nothing more hilarious than asking a teacher if she's pooped. No matter her response, the whole room was rolling in raucous laughter.

It's been over 20 years since then, and every time we meet in person, he still greets me with, "Did you poop today?"

[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 28 points 17 hours ago

Does he work as a plumber today?

[-] cobysev@lemmy.world 36 points 16 hours ago

He does not, sadly. He lived a pretty wild party life for many years that got him addicted to heavy drugs, and he became a gay prostitute for a while. He completely disappeared for a handful of years into some creepy sex cult and popped up again when he was rushed to the ER one day. Almost dying in a hospital was the wake-up call he needed.

He's been through rehab and recovery and as far as I know, he's working a pretty normal office job now. I'm good friends with his family, so I see him every time he's passing through town. And he still asks me if I've pooped that day.

[-] monotremata@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 hours ago

I seriously admire this level of commitment to the bit.

[-] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 8 points 8 hours ago

I mean this in the best way. Your friend needs to write a book about his life, legit would be interesting.

[-] four@lemmy.zip 11 points 17 hours ago

The hero we need!

[-] ickplant@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago

Awww yiss, opening and balancing my shit chakra as we speak.

[-] flandish@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

can i still get the poo out if i do it manually, like our hero: goatse?

[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

If you actually tried it, you'd risk that a doctor will have to manually get it out, but through a surgery.

[-] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 hours ago

You mean like a c-section?

[-] flandish@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

hrm. worth a shot. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[-] arotrios@lemmy.world 20 points 16 hours ago

Dear god, don't post this on Reddit. People will die.

[-] Pixel_Jock_17@piefed.ca 2 points 6 hours ago

There was a great post on here a while ago about not creating thing "in Irony" because it just leads to the opposite

[-] modus@lemmy.world 8 points 13 hours ago

brb posting on Reddit.

[-] sober_monk@lemmy.world 35 points 18 hours ago

I thought this was in July.

[-] TheFriendlyDickhead@feddit.org 28 points 19 hours ago

That reminds me of the post from (I think) three years ago where a guy asked what to do to not have to shit for a week or so. That was some quality content

[-] chunk6235@piefed.social 5 points 13 hours ago

I have never been more right and yet so wrong about the contents of a link....

[-] MrShankles@reddthat.com 2 points 8 hours ago

You described my exact thought so well

[-] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 7 points 14 hours ago

Okay, who’s nutting in food?

[-] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

Protein maxxers?

[-] EvilHankVenture@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

Don't kink shame. Also want to come over for dinner tonight? I'm making fettuccine alfredo.

[-] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 1 points 12 hours ago

If it’s as good as your eggplant parmesan count me in! 🍴😋

[-] Chl0r0f0rm_Angel@sh.itjust.works 13 points 17 hours ago

I think lemmy's apparent propensity for avoiding shitting is way funnier than whatever that bean business was. Why don't you just do that whenever there's too many politics in the shitpost community?

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 14 hours ago

Beans help you shit.

[-] Eyekaytee@aussie.zone 17 points 18 hours ago

as someone with ibs that would be a dream

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 13 points 18 hours ago

Have you tried putting a cork in it?

[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 7 points 17 hours ago

That works, but the cork must be buttplug shaped.

[-] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 3 points 15 hours ago

I imagine this works exactly like a champagne bottle.

[-] Omega_Jimes@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 hours ago

I wouldn't call it "Champagne" unless they're from the Champagne region of France.

Otherwise it's just pissing out my ass.

[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 10 points 18 hours ago

Just hold it in for a while, then you will defeat your shitting addiction.

[-] Eyekaytee@aussie.zone 6 points 18 hours ago

🤣 if only!

[-] dawcas@scribe.disroot.org 4 points 14 hours ago

What if I sit on the toilet the cheat day and two shits come out? D:

[-] GargleBlaster@feddit.org 5 points 12 hours ago

Stuff it back

[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 5 points 13 hours ago

You must instantly clench your sphincters the moment the first one comes out, no cheating!

[-] HieroProtagonist@feddit.org 10 points 18 hours ago

Oh this brings back unpleasant memories of my first month in military service in Germany 20 years ago... very, very unpleasant memories...

[-] Eq0@literature.cafe 6 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

I went to a young meeting in the early 2000s… I don’t remember the exact numbers, but roughly 4k teenagers for two days with, I think, 8 toilets? In the middle of summer. The queues were insane. Everyone was trying to hold it as much as possible.

[-] Varesti@lemmy.zip 3 points 15 hours ago

I know it's a joke, but technically possible on a water fast. I'm not recommending it, but not actually impossible.

[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

And if you have a megacolon, though with that you might have to go Caesarian pooping by the end of the month.

[-] FishFace@piefed.social 3 points 16 hours ago

Hmm, is trying to curb shitting appropriate for the shitpost community?

[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago

I just wanted to make fun of "No Nut November" challenge posts.

[-] saltesc@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago

Followed by colon cancer awareness October

this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2026
230 points (95.3% liked)

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