Intelligence is hot, arrogance is not

I'm a woman with a STEM PhD, and several of the guys I've dated have decided to prove they are smart enough to date me by looking up my publications from grad school (20 years ago now), reading them, and then trying to impress me by trying to poke holes in them or otherwise making me defend them on the spot.

That tactic is now an instant method to get me to end contact. It betrays a deep insecurity with my having expertise greater than theirs on any topic, even ones I have decades of work in. No Jimmy, you can't become my peer by reading a few papers. I don't think you are dumb, but I'm not spending time with you to massage your ego about your insecurity. Byyyye

I'm sorry do we have medieval Italian political satirists on the table for basic conversion? the crazy thing is, I've read books by all the individuals mentioned, and most of it is very old, and very specific to it's time, and largely entertainment. this is like someone 500 years from now saying they can't hold a conversation with someone if they don't have a deep familiaity with the deeper meanings of The Simpsons and Family Guy and how they impacted society.

Meanwhile, I imagine the actual historians and scholars who study and teach of the classical world professionally rarely feel the need to drop lists like this.

Big Dictionary Energy

You wrote Cellini twice, idiot.

I meet none of those criteria and I actually wish that would stop these people from talking at me.

Bare minimum for holding a conversation: don't be like this guy

Imagine doing this with any field other than humanities and you'll see how ridiculous it is.

Like are you talking to a cohort in your weirdo western canon circlejerk college program? Because otherwise you might have to be flexible about the where the conversation goes. And then you might actually learn something rather than just do keyword association bingo to "impress" your conversation partner with your incredible knowledge.

Bare minimum for holding a conversation: Cézanne, Renoire, Rembrandt, van Eyck, David, Vermeer, Fragonard, Turner, Courbet, Matisse, Kahlo, Picasso, Basquiat, Richter

hey look, i can gatekeep my special interest, too! 🤦

I used to have a friend like this. He was always acting like a condescending prick to everyone for not knowing as much about his favorite books.

I don't talk to him any more.

"Guy who keeps a Rubiks cube in a display stand on his desk at work so he can explain it's not that hard to solve them" energy.

sounds about white

Bare minimum to enjoy a beer around a campfire: ACDC, Rolling Stones, Lynyrd Skynyrd, White Stripes, Dire Straits, Genesis, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Kenny Loggings, Gorillaz, Jefferson Airplane, The Animals, Bon Jovi, R.E.M, Bonnie Tyler, Eminem, 50, System of a Down, Rage against the Machine, Rob Zombie, Nirvana, Papa Roach, Tenacious D, Dorothy, Floggin Molly, The Subways, Bush, Disturbed, Wolfmother, Guns and Roses, Scorpions, ZZ Top, Armand van Helden, Die Antwoord, Billy Idol, Fleetwood Mac, Ram Jam, Eagels of Death Metal, deadmau5, Foreigner, Daniel Norgen, The Weekend, Cari Cari, Shakira, Cher, Gaga, Rihanna, Michael, Prince

Some people mistake knowledge for intelligence

Hegel is too mainstream for this one, straight to fucking Holderin.

Compleete side track. I have met a lot of people with "advanced" degrees who were total idiots. Guy/girl/whatever, doesn't matter. And advanced degree means you have a peice of paper. And that just means you convinced a few people at so,e point that you knew something about a very specific topic "usually". I knew calculus at one point. I don't know any of it now.

Dude looked up "famous old authors" and started listing his search results.

A great example of someone that can't have a conversation is someone that thinks those are deciding factors.

Hopefully in 10 years, he will read this and cringe, although it sounds like he’s actively driving away people who think differently and would call him out on his bullshit to help him grow as a person, so maybe not.

Cellini so important that it's listed twice.

Cellini so important I never heard of it in my life.

My guy hasn't even read his own list.

I have an advanced degree. I don’t think I know/nor do I want to know everything. But I’m an expert in my field. Outside of that, I like to consume fluffy, shallow media. Because my work is very hard with high burnout and depression, I can’t be super serious all the time. So, I have stayed single after my marriage because it was always “you think you know everything” variants any time I engaged in logic. I don’t want to be run down by people who are supposed to care. I haven’t read classics that often because I simply find them way less interesting than watching JJK. So it’s like being trapped in this space of super serious or super aggrieved potential mates, and as I’m getting older…dying alone is my only sane option.

Minimum women authors/thinkers required to be familiar with: 0.