332
C shark shark
(lemmy.nz)
๐ฆ๐ฆ That code is basically self-documenting. Its flawless ๐ฆ๐ฆ
At the last place I worked, I asked for any existing documentation on someone's project and they gave me a dirty look and said "the code is self documenting".
No motherfucker it wasn't and it isn't. Get that fuck ass attitude out of here like "my code is so good I don't need to document it"
If I document it it's easier to replace me
I mean I get the attitude and the likelihood it's all a joke, but let me just say it's easy to replace everyone, even fucking CEOs.
There are so many people out there that worry about how easy or hard it is to replace someone. The thing is, they often don't think that hard about it, and a software developer leaves and a new one comes in with hopefully some semblance of the same skills that were required.
You start to think stuff like, "lol when I'm gone they'll never fix Project X, it'll break in a week or two". Well... Maybe it will, and maybe it won't. But maybe if it does, no one notices. Maybe even the customers don't fucking notice. Maybe it is just one constant thing people thought "degraded" about the product, but they still pay for it. And if they pay for it, everyone gets their paycheck and no one cares.
And also if you're the type to work on shit that no one else can touch or understand, you are literally in the crosshairs. Other devs probably don't talk to you as much because they're like "god I can't wait until he leaves so I can rip out all his shitty code".
They will destroy your Project X. They will solve the same problems over again. They will do it in some ways better than you did, and in some ways worse than you did. They will not have bugs you had and didn't know about. They will have all types of new bugs. They will have bugs you found and fixed a year ago, and they'll struggle less or more, or just ignore it.
And then they'll leave and the cycle fucking repeats, and the other dev says "oh I can't wait to rip out Project Y, fuck that shitty code base".
Every dev thinks he's super smart and special, and you all are as replaceable as the next fuck, because it's all about whether the customer pays money at the end of the day, not about how good your code is or how charismatic your CEO is. I've seen CEOs come and go and no one cared.
Reported.
Personal attacks aren't allowed.
You have effectively summarized an old Dilbert comic.
At least Scott Adams hasnโt said anything profoundly racist in a while.
Him and Kirk have really turned a new leaf
Just riddle it with booby-traps that are set to go off after your next planned update if you don't manually change the deadline and kick the can down the road with each update
At least it's not Emoji-Coding
lol that's actually more legible than shark code. You can actually differentiate between shit in emoji code.
There's a bug in ๐, it pretends to be ๐
Why is make_shared = strong arm?
My guess is it's a reference to unions.
We can go deeper
You can always just automate removing the #define statements
This makes me so uncomfortable
me too
error: implicit declaration of function 'shhark'
๐
heeee not possible
That code is as smooth as its namesake.
As a veteran FooBar instructor, I have touched dozens of codebases with my bare hands. Every one had very rough hacks, like my hobby projects.
This code is smooth from all sides.
There must be something wrong with your hands. You code like a 5-year-old.
I'm touching every public API endpoint in this code and it is smooth.
Clean code
I'm a shark. I'm a SHAAAAAAARK!
Suck my diiiiick!
It being on a phone is the cherry on top
doo-doo doo doo-doo-doo?
I was part of a generation of coders that read 'Automate the Boring Stuff with Python' and read hundreds of self satisfied admins saying, 'I run a script once a week, check a system status log once in a while and spend the rest of the day on Reddit.'
Now the middle managers can run the script, kind of.
Duh, you're gonna get let go. Find a new easy mode before it's too late.
Edit: I should say, the nepobabies of middle management that had a robot do all of their homework.
How is this related to shark?
Yeah, this wasn't relevant to shark at all! Get him, boys!
Oh no, y'all sensed blood in the water ๐ซข
I misunderstood the jooooke... (Is ripped to shreds by shark)
sharksydot\backs\lash\sure\char\sharksydot.c
this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2026
332 points (98.0% liked)
Programmer Humor
33564 readers
1808 users here now
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
- If the mod doesn't find it funny, you're banned. Ha-ha!... For real: do not use the community for "statements". There are other places for such content. Keep it chill and funny.
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS