18
Turn you into The Captain
The pineapple absorbs 1 health from all creatures within 10 yards, per hour.
"Has that pineapple been growing this whole time?"
I'm imagining the pineapple humming at about 30hz and pulsating, just at the fringe of human perception.
Fun fact this actually comes from an old tradition where a pineapple was a symbol of hospitality, and when the pineapple disappeared the hospitality was gone, the party was over and you needed to leave.
So literally a DJ fruit.
Everyone who attends the dinner party is guaranteed to get laid that same night.
There's a monkey's-paw-style story in there somewhere about dramatic, ironic consequences, but I don't know that I want to bring it into the world by writing it.
Funny, considering swingers have adopted the pineapple as their symbol.
While looking at the pineapple, any food you eat tastes like your favourite food.
Extra weird for people who favor pineapple and are eating pineapple (not the pineapple, obviously. I did read the post).
"Oh my gosh! My pineapple tastes just like my grandmother's baklava! I thought I'd never taste it again!"
"Mine taste like my Nonna's lasagna!"
"Pirozhki. I've got tears."
"How about you, Greg?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, it's really good pineapple, my favorite. I used to spend summers working with my grandfather on the pineapple plantation. This is, um, nice."
Making a comment related to the pineapple or related tabledressing is guaranteed to lead to an interesting conversation for all parties involved, which is based on a factual, truthful event.
Hmmm, seems like under the right circumstances, it could be a pineapple of truth. Take it to the White House Correspondents' dinner and bring up the Epstein Files.
Everyone who attends a party with a rented pineapple later remembers it as a classy affair. However, you lose the deposit on your rental
It starts levitating, then explodes.
These pineapples kinda do that, but admittedly, the levitation is pretty brief.
Lots of videos out there on this specific thing for some reason. Maybe Tablescaping is more popular than I thought?
The longer you look at the pineapple, the more your food tastes like pineapples. There comes a point when your food is too sweet, too acidic, but you can't stop looking at the beautiful pineapple.
Alternatively, it makes everyone's piss a deep yellow. Saturated and not healthy at all. Weeing is painful and feels like a pineapple getting squirted out of whatever hole you wee out of. Everybody avoids drinking water and only eat dried food, and they all die from dehydration within 3 days.
SCP?
+20 appetite
It is the snack that eats back. You could take it further and say it's a mimic.
This is a really interesting question. I hope you crosspost it elsewhere so it gets the coverage it deserves.
Assuming we would still be in this universe we call reality, any, really. Anything magical would be interested.
Everyone within 20 feet is influenced to interpret comments by the other participants in either a) the most positive or b) the most negative possible way, dealer's choice.
Radical chaos pineapple. I love it. Would be great for a short film or a ship-in-a-bottle episode. I want to see a scene in which an antagonist is being really verbally abusive, but the other person hears it as being supportive. The target of the abuse kindly returns the supportive rhetoric effusively, but the abusive person can only hear the most psychologically damaging scolding they've ever gotten.
If you've got extra pineapples when you're done, you can make them into single use cups with fancy drinks too.
Ravenous boners of speed.
Every bite of pineapple sends you to hell to shove a pineapple up hitler's asshole
displayed but not eaten
Are you trying to stop me from eating the pineapple?
this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2026
18 points (87.5% liked)
No Stupid Questions
49893 readers
759 users here now
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here. This includes using AI responses and summaries.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS