I know that's terribly exclusive, but the joke doesn't really work otherwise.

Here is my situation: I took out a loan last month for my ex-wife to make a car payment, her car died on the way back from Dallas, and her take is "well, it doesn't work now, so I owe you nothing."

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I am surviving off an inheritance currently. I've also been sued for debt and am laying low, so when my dad died and I was the sole beneficiary, Mom and I worked quickly with his lawyers to shunt the money to her. Notarized paperwork and such.

So, I have access to funds, but under limited conditions. I get a distribution twice a month, half of which immediately goes to my housemates. When my phone was stolen this spring, the estate had a replacement covered same day. When the fridge in my van died, well, that was somehow a full week from Amazon, but again, it was covered.

But I face a specific problem. "YOU GAVE WHAT TO HER?" will not fix anything. Basically, so long as I can justify a need for myself, Mom handles it (yeah, yeah, I'm nearing 50, but I never got the picket fence). This is the one and only radioactive thing I could have done and, as such, that isn't an available conversation.

As soon as I admit I financially fucked myself by taking out a loan for an ex she hates, there could be further consequences such as stricter scrutiny of my spending ($500 a month after rent ... don't spend it all in one place) on one-offs like the phone.

Like, I know I have that $300 legally, but it's a fucking Indiana Jones maze that I have neither the time to map nor navigate. The ghost of Covid hangs over all of this, getting me into debt in the first place.

In the past, I have reluctantly reached out for mutual aid on Beehaw, and the community has risen to the occasion (one user sent way more than I needed, explaining that it was half their dinner bill from the night before ... you know who you are, and the phone service is still working great). As I should be able to handle my own finances under the current setup, it's honestly embarrassing to ask again.

But such is life when I fall into thinking that someone who I divorced a decade ago has changed and then offer to help because I've moved along into communal mutual-aid circles. If she still views everyone as an NPC, I can't do much about that short of "never again."

At the same time, I've been getting early distributions to help smooth the household finances. I'm in this house because it is mutually beneficial for me to pay rent for climate control, but they do not have an extra $300 hanging out in a "Powderhorn fucked up lending money to his ex" fund.

So, again, I come hat in hand asking that if I've provided value to you over the years I've been moderating, please consider helping out here. I don't need $300 from one person; that's just absurd unless that's half a dinner.