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[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 72 points 2 years ago

I like the idea that the best advice Jesus could give is "keep on truckin" lol

[-] kautau@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

Sometimes Jesus takes the wheel and sometimes he hands it back to you so you don’t run your truck off the road

[-] CM400@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

I used to sign bibles in hotel rooms with that exact phrase. This one is definitely not one of mine, though.

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

That's a good advice, but my favorite is "love thy neighbor".

[-] xantoxis@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago

Shit yeah, let's go get that bitch authenticated. Worth it just to see wtf they do for that part

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago

Authenticator: This does indeed appear to have been signed by Jesus Gonzalez, who works at Walmart with the seller.

[-] suodrazah@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago

Ah yes, let me sign this book about my future.

Keep on truckin'. 100% legit.

[-] DarkThoughts@kbin.social 8 points 2 years ago

In modern English, using the Latin alphabet.

[-] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 years ago

With a ballpoint pen

[-] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

THE LATIN ALPHABET VVAS AROVND AT THE TIME. VVHETHER IESVS KNEVV ABOVT IT IS A DIFFERENT MATTER, THOVGH HE DID HAVE SOME RVN-INS VVITH THE ROMAN EMPIRE, SO MAYBE?

Modern English and trucks though, definitely not.

[-] DarkThoughts@kbin.social 2 points 2 years ago

Technically yes, but if he knew how to write, which is already a highly questionable thing, then it would likely not be in Latin.

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

He spoke Aramaic, but he was Jewish and Jewish people learn Hebrew reading and writing. He was well versed in scripture, so he probably did know how to read. The Bible talks about him spending a lot of time at the temple as a child, where he likely learned to read and write.

[-] DarkThoughts@kbin.social 2 points 2 years ago

The bible also says he performed a bunch of magic tricks, as well as a bunch of other nonsense.

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

He was executed by the Romans. He definitely knew of the Romans.

[-] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 years ago

Who is this Jesus, he like a celebrity in Mexico or something?

[-] Teon@kbin.social 6 points 2 years ago

Celebrity? No, he owns a bookstore in Oklahoma. Ask for Jesus Ramirez to get signed copies.

[-] Pons_Aelius@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

I think he's a MLB player from Puerto Rico.

[-] theodewere@kbin.social 7 points 2 years ago

wtf no Western Union, does this guy even know how the black market signed Jesus bible market works?

[-] oo1@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago

Maybe they rely on temple-based financial intermediaries or something?

[-] Cosmicomical@kbin.social 7 points 2 years ago

It's also addressed at john wick

[-] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago

Everyone seems to be assuming they meant Jesus Christ, but it's much more likely an actual modern person called Jesus signed it. (If an actual modern person not called Jesus didn't sign it)

[-] pm_me_your_thoughts@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

This post cannot be more American

[-] Thief_of_Crows@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 years ago

How exactly does one authenticate that Jesus actually signed it? Also he definitely didn't, it wasn't written until 400 ad or later

[-] corvid_of_the_night@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago

They must have the 3 AD version of the Bible. :P

[-] FatTony@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)
[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Doubtful. Wasn't great with math, either.

[-] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Kept dividing by two and getting double, smh.

[-] MBZzZzZzZz@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Well, trucking is capitalized. So, I guess no.

this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
320 points (100.0% liked)

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