I just use Remind, which is the best calendar app ever. If you aren't happy with the calendar on Thunderbird, do you maybe want to take the step to using a full project management app, like ~~ProjectLibre~~, GanttProject, Gnome Planner, et. al?
ProjectLibre sounded interesting, but they're pushing their subscription SaaS product hard. That kind of mindset doesn't bode well for it's future. I would look elsewhere. The term "libre" doesn't belong on paid subscriptions.
What makes Remind awesome?
It's terminal (well, has a gui if you want) based, which always is a big plus for me. It allows for a lot of tinkering. Here's a link to the website FAQ, is you want more. Username/Password == notabot/notabot
If you like tinkering, customizing your .*rc files, then you'll probably enjoy it. If you don't like the terminal or tinkering with txt files, then your mileage may vary. Although the Tcl/Tk gui is pretty user friendly.
Have you tried submitting a PR to Thunderbird?
I use Evolution for synced calendar dates and am trying Taskwarrior for flexible tasks (which has many features, but one can keep it simple). Basically, I am using text files (Zim Wiki, Org Mode) for work projects since I like to divide tasks into daily small steps.
At one point while looking for a calendar app I needed one that could import events from a text file (not ics) and khal was recommended. I was able to import 250 events in one command. I didn't want a cli calendar, but I ended up just keeping that one installed along with todoman for task lists. It isn't ideal, but I haven't noticed the problem you have said about due dates and start dates.
I just mark the due date as an event with a date using Thunderbird's calendar
Proton calendar because i get the notifications on my phone
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