294
Can't do shit in the Technocracy
(lemmy.nz)
“I didn’t ask how big the room was. I said I cast fireball.”
DJ: "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!"
Mage: "And I took that personally."
Again, I said "I'm buying a shot of fireball" not "I shoot fireball"
Damn avian intelligence voice activated wand
This is why magic-suppressing handcuffs are a must.
"But it was a Kobold night club!"
"Oh, so this was a hate crime?"
Trust me buddy, if I had been casting fireball like a maniac, there'd be no nightclub left. I took levels in 2 Core Classes and 3 different Prestige Classes so I could make it do Force damage. I don't cast Fireball. I cast Thermobaric Bombs.
Megumin, that you?
Nope, but I do still miss 3.5e. did I mention that when w started getting into Epic Levels I added dual wand wielding? I crafted max level wands if magic missile because of course I fucking did, I was a fucking Force specialist Invoker because one early-mid level villain cast Gaseous Form to escape my revenge (for selling is poisoned healing potions), and I took that really personally.
Did that shit in my first DnD campaign. hunting some Vampire Lord that enslaved a whole town. When finaly reaching the huge hall underground with the Vampire standing at one end and out group on the other it was clear what to do. Use the slightly-over-my-level fireball scroll (i think it was a scroll) and grill the Vampire! Our DM of course asked "you sure?", and hell yes it was.
I should asked before doing that if the poor townspeople are in the hall as well ....
Wizard: Look at all this rubble! It's going to take forever to clean this up. I wasn't sure you made enough black powder, but I see I should trust your expertise more readily. In the end it will be worth it. Destroying Count Vettain's Garrison is the first major step towards restoring peace and prosperity to the region.
Artificer: Uh...Mr Wizard, you are going to want to see this. *Holds up broken sign saying "Count Vettain's".
Wizard: Yeah, so?
Artificer: *Hold up other half of sign saying "Orphanage".
Wizard: Oh... Look on the brightside, no one is going to miss them.
Artificer: *facepalm
Don't worry! If your DM was running that suckfiend as evil as possible, those innocents were already as good as dead. Soul-bonds, life leech, contingency spells, etc. None of them were leaving there alive, you only changed how they didn't. 🤷🏼♂️
You know what, that makes feel me better. Thanks :D
what about my freedom of speech? do ancient incantations not count all of a sudden?
Poster makes a meme about Mage, a decidedly non-dnd game. Replies are all DND anyway. The RPG hobby, everyone.
Anyway, my current game has a similar problem. Blowing up a data center with a car bomb, killing a dozen construction workers and cops: sleep.
Letting a video of the PCs shrugging off multiple close range gunshots go online: real shit
In the last game set in WoD that I played in (EvWoD) my character had a hell of a time keeping a lid on the antics of my circle. Lots and lots of convincing people the Truth is too painful to believe.
One time we were hitting a mining operation being done by some Pentex subsidiary and I shot one of the security guards that was calling for help on his sat-phone, picked up the bloody receiver - the voice on the other side said, "Hello? What's going on there?" so I replied, "The site is being attacked by a crocodile-monster!" [Avoiding the Truth Technique] to which they replied, "Very funny, asshole, this line is for emergencies only." and hung up.
Technically, I'm in 101 because I got caught casting fireball "in a crowded nightclub". ☝🏼
Good thing a jury of my fellow murder-hobos will see the facts of the case and weigh the loot and alignment of said crowd accordingly.
"But like, also fuck your reality deviant beliefs."
It's a separate but equally important point to the mass murder
Fireball. Solves it all.
Hey, I was just casting silent imagine. It's not my fault people there couldn't handle a little wild magic
Relationship with the people of Crans-Montana has tanked.
Sorry, but I'm not answering questions for some guy wearing blackface.
this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2026
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