Is "hiccough" pronounced the same as "hiccup?" Because if it is, I'm gonna have to put that in the same category as "colonel."

Yes English is tough, though through practice comes understanding.

English is a creole gone feral.

Some poor sheep farmers who thought the Thames was a lovely bit of river spent one thousand years getting rolled by the Picts, the Romans, the Angles, the Normans, the Saxons, the Franks, the Danes... and half of those were just the French wearing different hats. Most of these conquerors, heirs, and particularly rowdy tourists left a significant linguistic impact this mongrel archipelago of mayonnaise-filled peasants.

I'm in south Florida. Doctors' offices usually have multilingual signs. Haitian Creole always looks goofy, but you immediately realize - that's what English would look like if we fixed the fucking spelling. They look at French's oodles of rules that all matter, and English's very simple rules we don't follow, and said "Sa trè estipid, nou ka fè pi byen."

This reminds me of a poem called "The Chaos" which highlights how dumb English can be as a language

I actually ran into someone on Reddit who thought we should embrace it. They might be here too, I don't know.

How would one go about making a "font" that looks like the bonus panel? It's harder to learn all the logographs but you can fit a lot of information on a page that way.

Yes! I’ve made that comment a lot; French is easier to learn than English because you only need to learn how to pronounce syllables, while in English you have to learn every single word. It’s insane.