this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
952 points (97.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26897 readers
2312 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 63 points 10 months ago (8 children)

Just buy reusable mesh bags and stop wasting plastic to protect your produce for a 20 minute car ride.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago (2 children)

There's no way I'm getting to my car when opening a bag is this hard

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] SiegeRhino@lemmy.world 32 points 10 months ago (4 children)

"just put the fruit in the cart" gang represent

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago

We still reuse the plastic bags around here... so, not a total waste I guess.

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

The "waste" is negligible; doing some napkin math, a 20 minute car ride accounts for 300 times higher carbon footprint than a plastic produce bag (can elaborate if you want). A reused mesh bag is going to be less hygienic and less convenient, and factoring in the higher footprint of production and distribution (produce bags come in packs of thousands) you would need to get a lot of reuse out of it to even be worth it. Considering impact of disposal, as long as you live somewhere that has sane waste disposal and doesn't empty their trash into the ocean it's not going to be significant either.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

People need to get some perspective on plastic waste. I've seen no end of complaints about how my 3d printing hobby is responsible for climate change... In my country, we produce >200 kg of plastic per capita. My 1kg spool of vegetable-derived plastic is not to blame for passing 3°.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 59 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

Produce Manager here. Place the end that opens directly between your two palms, and rub your palms together vigorously. The bag will stick to one palm or both, opening every time. Please stop licking your fingers to open these bags and then picking through our vegetables. You're gross.

[–] Perhapsjustsniffit@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Vegetable Farmer here. That shit is already gross. Wash your veggies.

[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 15 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Produce Manager here. Thanks for all of the gross vegetables!

[–] gsb@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Consumer of vegetables here. Where can I find the yams?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 45 points 10 months ago (3 children)

All you do is put the top between the palms of your hands and rub them together like you've just come up with an evil plan and they pop open.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

bonus points if you actually come up with an evil plan while you're doing it

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] _number8_@lemmy.world 34 points 10 months ago (3 children)

simply use the moisture from the sprayers

[–] Duranie@literature.cafe 9 points 10 months ago

I've touched sprayed produce before just for the grip. 🥴

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago (2 children)

At least the bags say "OPEN HERE". We'd be fucked if they said "OPEN IN ZIMBABWE" or something like that.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] SonicBlue03@sh.itjust.works 25 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'll try for five minutes and find out it opens on the other end.

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I do this with dog poop bags, it's so frustrating!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Kase@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

As a person with eternally sweaty palms, this right here is my superpower. (⁠⌐⁠■⁠-⁠■⁠)

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago (4 children)

If you listen closely you can hear him whisper words of wisdom such as: "I've tried both ends five times now!", "I think this one must be defective!", or my personal favorite "I don't think these are the same brand they had out last week!"

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

I go to the broccolis and touch the usually wet crate first.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 10 points 10 months ago

Highlight of my life was shortly after I broke my arm, someone saw me struggling with one of these one-handed and opened it for me like the damn lockpicking lawyer. I've considered taking my sling with me shopping ever since, in case I need another good Samaritan to open one of these godforsaken bags again

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It takes three times longer to open a dog poop bag when you are out in the cold and can't even feel your damn finger tips.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JizzmasterD@lemmy.ca 9 points 10 months ago

Just lick your fingers first! The grocery store sells food products, it and its patrons have to be hygienic …

/s

[–] NBJack@reddthat.com 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Breath on your fingers like you're trying to fog up glass. Immediately open by running your fingers in opposite directions along the edge, using the additional friction you created.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Instructions unclear, bag is stuck in my glasses

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 6 points 10 months ago (9 children)

Please don't breathe your germs onto my vegetables

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Keep my vegetables out your fucking mouth.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] explodicle@local106.com 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I just wave it around frantically until the wind opens it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Put the opening "line" between your big hands and rub it; both hands goes along the "opening line", one hand moves one way, the other hand the other way for say some centimetres or an inch or two, change direction, repeat.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] moshtradamus666@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I have dry hands, these are my nemesis

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (8 children)

I just tap the tips of my finger and thumb to my tongue for a bit of moisture and then they open right up.

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is what I always did before covid but now I don't anymore.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

But at that point I’ve already wandered the whole store and have touched any number of things that could have been manhandled by all the other finger-licking, unmasked hand-sneezing, butt-scratching, non-hand-washing straw men in the grocery store. One of those dudes is a septic tank cleaner, and he doesn’t wear gloves because he says he’s allergic! And soap burns when it gets into all the oozing sores on his hands.

There’s no way I’m licking my fingers until I’ve washed them or at least forgotten about my pus-leaking, poop-handed caricature!

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] TechLauren@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

One of the best life tips I've ever gotten was from some random stranger as I desperately struggled with one of these things: Most times if you slide one edge up and one edge down it pops right open even with super dry skin. Not sure why this works when sliding the halves sideways does not but it dies!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›