So he's got like what, 48 hours before a tragic slip and fall?
this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
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It will come as a complete surprise when we hear that he committed suicide by four self inflicted gunshot wounds to the head.
Oh it's totally normal for someone to shoot themselves15 times with a gun that holds 11 bullets. They probably reloaded halfway through.
Russian people so strong they survive many gunshot wound, is normal
No no no no, first he will shoot himself in the back of the head, then fall down several flights of stairs, then shoot himself in the back of the head again, then he will fall out of the building. A message needs to be sent: you cannot be too careful what you say when you run against Putin.
While choking on his totally normal dinner of polonium-210 and novichok.
Slip near an open window
This guy needs to stay in single story buildings... Probably for the rest of his life.
which shouldn't be difficult as the "rest of his life" will likely be just a few days
also, he should avoid tea
Especially, the radio active kind.
I was thinking I hope he enjoys below ground windowless rooms. Though I guess the below ground covers the windowless but you want your bases covered just in case. Also no tea.
Russia regularly allows fall-guy opponents to play the part of opposition without threatening the regime. This guy will either have his signatures disqualified (if he's legit) or get some single digits votes proving his ideas are not supported. If he starts to catch on he'll fumble in some way to make sure it putters out. They reject actual opposition that could threaten the ruling party and can't be controlled.
Lots of jokes in here, but surely it's this.
At this point it has to be "suicide by election" right? Why put yourself in the line of fire?
You can only make so many martyrs before anyone with a conscience is willing to become one as well.
Does anyone know how he died?
I heard it was suicide. Poor bastard shot himself in the back of the head five times.
Can't believe he was able to do that while falling 5 stories after tripping and falling
I hear he was rubbing Mia Wallace's feet!
Window.
Fell out of a fifth story window onto a vacant farm road.
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At first I thought "This guy's done", then I thought "There are still Russians not indoctrinated, and they got balls. Let's hope it sparkles some things in others".
Hope he doesn’t go around any windows anytime soon.
It’s pretty brave to run against Putin at all, even without criticism like this. For one, someone can’t really expect to win, so it’s essentially a form of protest. And then, look where Navalny is.
The quality of comments here is just as low as Reddit... It's enough with ONE thread of jokes.
Yeah, I totally agree.
Reference humor is the worst.
It's funny when it doesn't flood the whole section. Just find the joke and write another on that one. A bit more easy to filter.
Hmm. Wouldn't be surprised if he got forcibly conscripted to a penal battalion and ordered on a suicide mission in Ukraine only to be picked off by drones.
I’m guessing he will live until about 6 weeks after losing the election, then have an accident with a 5 story window. Given how long Prigozhin lasted. .
Progozhin had a literal army protecting him. It still took over a month and the first opportunity was to plant a bomb under the wing of his private jet.
Putin will use as much propaganda and (made up) blackmail as he needs, and if that doesn't work, he'll make sure he does something to be able to lock him up, just like he did to Navalny.
In tomorrows news, Boris Nadezhdin falls from 5th floor window.
My condolences to his family and loved ones.
So tragic to hear about his future fall out of an 8th floor window after slipping on a bannana peel while accidently shooting himself in the head twice.
Comrade, you are perfect for open position at KGB.
Of course, to work there you best know plenty of Linux, only targets use Windows
never has the advice "stay away from the windows" been more important .
It was just self defense! No, wait I read it wrong. Self defenestration.
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Anyone got a betting pool going yet for when this guy falls out a window?
What the hell is he talking about? What war?
OHHH WAIT, is he referring to the special military operation?
Aw he dead
Very grave...
This is the best summary I could come up with:
A politician bidding to run against Vladimir Putin in Russia’s upcoming presidential election described the decision to go to war in Ukraine as a “big mistake” in comments to the wives of soldiers on Thursday.
Boris Nadezhdin, representing a centre-right party called Civic Initiative that has no seats in parliament, is seeking to gather the necessary 100,000 signatures from people across Russia to enable him to stand against Putin.
Nadezhdin, 60, told the soldiers’ wives that the war, which the Kremlin calls a “special military operation”, was “a big mistake by Putin, of course, and the consequences will be very grave.”
Soon after Putin sent his army into Ukraine nearly two years ago, Russia passed laws introducing stiff prison terms for “discrediting” the armed forces or spreading deliberately false information about them.
“The huge amounts of money that have been spent and planned for the special military operation could have been invested in improving the quality of life of my fellow citizens.”
Putin made clear the central importance of the war to his re-election campaign when he announced his intention to run again last month at a meeting with soldiers and mothers of men killed in combat.
The original article contains 430 words, the summary contains 197 words. Saved 54%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!
Ah shit, here we go again!
Now taking bets on this man having a tragic accident before next week
they are so naїve, there are no such thing as election in russia
Calling it naive doesn't give proper credit to the pair of huge brass balls it took to come out and say this in the first place.
About to be Navalny's new roomate or fall out a window.
“Mrs Clause, that you?”
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