It might be a bug. I have the same problem, just the opposite way. I'm in beehaw and the communities from other instances I subscribed to all appear as "pending"
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I think this is just a cosmetic Lemmy bug. I have several Beehaw communities showing as Subscribe Pending (including this one) from my personal instance, but I'm still getting new posts and comments with sub-minute delays.
Also seem to be having issues with subbing to lemmy.ml communities from Beehaw, and it seems like federation between the two may be busted in some fashion. Even just doing a search from lemmy.ml for a Beehaw post by URL fails, which is not normally the case.