this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
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[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 143 points 7 months ago (8 children)

Woman: So when you're not swiping, what do you do?

Men 1-7: It sounds weird, but I'm really into WAR! ... Christoph Waltz was sooo creepy as Hans Landa! You have to see it! ... so each week both uncredentialled "historians" talk about their favorite times when thousands of men stabbed or shot each other! ... and then the good guy took his gun-knife and started prying teeth and slicing ears off the dead guys... literally an entire generation of men was decimated or psychologically damaged... But [Game of Thrones/The Walking Dead/Band of Brothers] is my go-to. What do you watch?

Woman: Mostly cartoons.

More seriously, I'd guess that many, maybe even most people have some level of morbid fascination with the type of violent, high stakes scenarios that people they identify with have been subject to. It's just kind of weird not to acknowledge that a lot of basically well-adjusted men (I flatter myself that I'm in that group) are into stuff that's objectively terrifying.

[–] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 52 points 7 months ago (3 children)

I think people are interested with the extremes of the human experience in general because that's where the toughest choices and emotions come to light

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[–] sosodev@lemmy.world 25 points 7 months ago (2 children)

You forgot to mention the Roman Empire

[–] RealFknNito@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago

I'm only interested in the Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius because of his meditations. The things he wrote down for just himself to see are some of the most humbling passages I've ever come across. The exception to the rule that absolute power corrupts absolutely. A god to his people who paid a peasant to whisper in his ear to remind him he was just a man. Rome experienced a time of peace and prosperity under his rule without needless wars of conquest.

He was a good man and I aspire to be more like him.

[–] Purplexingg@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I'm pretty sad Rome got co opted to be like a weird right ideology. I read the Percy Jackson books growing up so I've always been fascinated with ancient Greece and Rome.

[–] Tlaloc_Temporal@lemmy.ca 13 points 7 months ago (7 children)

Oppressive military dictatorship that really likes their military is idolized by wannabe oppressive military dictators who really like their millitary? Who'd have thought?

Oh, also the deep ties to cristianity and fascism. Inquisitions and crusades are exactly the legacy they're after.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'll shit talk the Empire all day but the Inquisitions and Crusades aren't on them.

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[–] duffman@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago (7 children)

My interest in war is that there is nothing higher stakes, it can be a fight for the survival of not just yourself but your family, community, or nation, or even our species if we are talking fiction (or global warming).

So if we were to stereotype the genders, men are typically more interested in death/violence at a humanitary level and women at a personal level.

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[–] Ragdoll_X@lemmy.world 117 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Adventure Time lore is far more complex than any true crime 😤

[–] tryptaminev@feddit.de 42 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Also much dark.. No Gunter no !

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 36 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Please forgive me for, whatever I do

When I don't remember you

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

🎶 Making your way in the world today takes everything you got 🎶

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[–] oatscoop@midwest.social 61 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

People are drawn to and fascinated by taboo topics, and one's experiences and upbringing determine the relationship with those taboos a person has.

Women have personal experiences with creepy/dangerous men, it's a "known danger" they hear about from a young age, and serial killers represent the extreme example of this -- it's not really surprising "true crime" type media is popular with women.

[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 47 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I've sat through 2 murder trials and between the testimony and pictures I can confidently say I'm really not interested in the detailed reality of horrific murders.

But to each their own, I guess.

[–] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 38 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Well don't leave us hanging like that, did they convict you or are you planning for number 3?

(edit: fix typo)

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[–] Toneswirly@lemmy.world 33 points 7 months ago (13 children)

My wife claims its so women can learn patterns to look out for.

[–] NoIWontPickAName@kbin.earth 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)

My ex-wife claimed it was to learn how to kill me.

Aqua Tefata

[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Congratulations on your survival and escape!

[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)
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[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Aka, I learned how to detect signs about criminals when being verbally told about those signs up front after learning about them in huge investigations from serial killers who were caught...

Not even the 2,100 estimated serial killers that aren't caught...

Simple fact is if someone wants to lie to you, more than likely you'll believe it lol. Just one of the many things we have to believe to keep society running and ourselves from freaking out daily.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_impression_(psychology)

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[–] ShaunaTheDead@fedia.io 33 points 7 months ago (17 children)

Women are obsessed with true crime because we feel vulnerable, and so learning about it helps to hone our instincts to avoid dangerous situations. There's almost always some warning sign that people ignored and they ended up getting murdered. There's nothing wrong with true crime used as a cautionary tale. Are children sick because they read fairy tales about wolves eating grandmothers or witches cooking and eating children? Of course not. It's the same thing.

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 92 points 7 months ago (5 children)

You try to learn how to read people by watching true crime TV shows?

That's really counterproductive.

[–] Ragdoll_X@lemmy.world 79 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Well she's right about one thing, and that's that true crime is about as realistic and useful as fairy tales lol.

Like come on, let's be real: We watch true crime out of morbid curiosity and because the shows are entertaining. That's fine! IDK why some people try to launder their interest in true crime as some sort of "research".

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 17 points 7 months ago

Because no matter what you like and for whatever reason you will always get shit on both here on the internet and IRL. So we've all normalized having to defend our opinions.

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[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 28 points 7 months ago (7 children)

Are children sick because they read fairy tales about wolves eating grandmothers or witches cooking and eating children? Of course not. It's the same thing.

Tbf, kids don't normally seek out those stories. They were created by adults to scare children.

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[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 24 points 7 months ago

I think it helps separate you from the victims. If you feel that you wouldn't have made the same mistakes as the people who went and got murdered, then it feels a lot less like something that might happen to you.

[–] Magrath@lemmy.ca 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

As long you don't get hyper sensitive to the signs. You could end up overthinking any little sign when it could mean nothing.

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[–] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's ok to enjoy weird media, but if you're using sensationalist narrations about very fringe cases to make generalizations about what you may or may not find in real life, you have a problem. If it makes you feel any better, most humans are generally dumb enough to fall for it from time to time, but you should still strive to do better.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Except this is a very real thing? It's funny because there's truth here.

Just reading through it reminded me of just last week visiting my mother and my brothers: my mom and my sister in law went on and on about the crazy ones they listened to recently.

Not judging here, but from my time on dating sites over the last decade I can offer two observations as well: a very large percentage of women seem to be literally obsessed with dogs to the point it's the first thing mentioned on their profile, and this true crime thing is absolutely real. Nothing wrong with it, just like girls complain that every guy holds up a fish in their photos lol it's probably a reel thing (sorry, dumb pun) but just because I dont do it doesn't mean it isn't overwhelming present.

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[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 7 months ago (11 children)

Replace the last frame with "Mostly TNG" and this is a scary accurate boiled down representation of Lemmy.

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[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

We do but I also love cartoons

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 12 points 7 months ago (6 children)
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[–] daltotron@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago

You know I find this to kind of be a somewhat depressing stereotype. Depressing both in the fact that these works are clearly marketed towards women as a sort of, precautionary measure against the somewhat justified paranoia, right, and the fact that this paranoia is somewhat justified is also depressing.

But it's also depressing in that I'm pretty sure it's not actually going to do anything to help you prevent yourself from being serially murdered, especially as I'm pretty sure serial murderers aren't all that common. Most of these things are going to focus on your much less likely scenarios, and are going to just flood people with a sort of paranoid delusion that everyone is out to get them at all times. Which is kind of a hellish way to live your life.

I'm also not sure there's realistically a chance most people have of catching a committed serial murderer. It's sort of like how, the safest option for a cop to engage in, most times, is just to shoot everyone all the time, because anyone could be carrying a gun on them, and if they're carrying a gun, then the people who win gunfights most of the time are the people who shoot first. It is very hard to protect against bad faith behavior, and against overwhelming opposing force. Or even mildly whelming force, if you're just not really expecting it. Just as it is relatively hard for a committed, high profile criminal to escape justice for a longer period of time (especially if the cops have a good incentive to catch the perp, like, they're a cop-killer, or a terrorist, or what have you), it is extremely hard to ensure that you're not just gonna get taken advantage of by someone.

That's not really to dissuade people from taking BJJ classes, or carrying pepper spray, or a whistle, or a gun on you, though, those things can still be effective and are pretty easy to integrate into your daily life. Especially in the case of BJJ, that might just be good exercise, but maybe the jury's still out on whether or not your joints will be completely destroyed by the age of 50.

So, I think most people would probably be better served by understanding more thoroughly the warning signs of, say, a just straight up abusive or emotionally manipulative relationship, right, more common crimes, that don't involve serial killers or the extreme and marketable violence featured in true crime. But then, as we've seen with the buzzwordification of "gaslighting", and things of this nature, you can't really be so sure that said education wouldn't just be co-opted and used by the abusers themselves into more easily laundering their behavior. It's probably still beneficial, in that if you know the identifying features of a duck, it's harder for a duck to pose as not-a-duck, even if the duck knows what a duck is, right, but, yeah, it still has problems.

Then maybe the answer lies in, say, some sort of unironic self-help or therapeutic content, right, because that helps everyone, including potential abusers, but then that can be just as vulnerable to abuse. Not necessarily from abusers, but abuse from the financial nature of said content, which will be likely to provide easy solutions and shitty information just to make a quick buck, ime.

I'd still criticize all of this shit, this genre, on the basis of what I've all said, right, and I'd also criticize it in the format and execution of it's entertainment, but I also think, right, we're probably all better off if we just remain conscious of why we're actually engaging with entertainment, instead of trying to come up with some sort of justification which doesn't really pass the reality test. It's mostly escapism. The pretense of reality is what everything uses to make itself more legitimate. That's why men watch war history videos, and videos on guns that convince them they need to become right wing NRA wingnut prepper guys. Pretense of reality. As the other commenters have pointed out, there are parallels, here.

[–] eatthecake@lemmy.world 11 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Sexist garbage. I'm a woman and i would run a mile from anyone into true crime. It's creepy as hell.

[–] polarpear11@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago

All of my girlfriends are into true crime and I just don't get it. I tried it out, got sad, decided it wasn't for me.

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[–] Pandantic@midwest.social 9 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I fell into the true crime podcast hole once. I’m never climbing back in again.

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[–] knorke3@lemm.ee 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

initially read it as different discrete responses to the first panel, and 1+3 is just...

> So when you're not swiping, what do you do?
> Serial Killers!

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