Asklemmy

One of my teeth became loose. When I pulled it out, a significant part of my upper jaw came off with it. It fucked up my entire day.

I had a dream that a bear bit me on the shoulder then I got diagnosed with a disease which caused terminal politeness

The town was infested with some sort of radioactivity from underground that was hurting people. I had to crawl underground, through these super-tight tunnels deep under the earth with things getting more and more evil as I went, until I was able to track the source of the radioactivity to a giant monster that lived back up on the surface (via the tunnels) in an abandoned barn. I had to fight the monster, but I could fly inside the barn. I ripped its head off, but every time I did, it was just like a big rubbery mask and a new head grew back, until I figured out how to do it fast enough that it wouldn't have time to pop a new head out. When I did that, the real head came out: Tux the Linux Penguin.

That broke the immersion enough that I woke up, all amped up from adrenaline from fighting the monster.

Went to a foreign country for vacation and bought a whole-ass bale of hay. Most of the dream was me trying to smuggle it home through customs.

Last night I dreamt that Austin Powers was teaching me how to dance and rear like a horse while I and others wore a golden tractor outfit, my hands were bound and I was chasing hot dogs as well

(Not even embellishing a little bit)

I dreamt I was in the lord of the rings world. Someone had been kidnapped and a party of three getting together to make a rescue. There was human, a dwarf and halfling. I was the halfling.

I talked to the dwarf and learned that his father was one of the group that had defeated Smaug and recovered the Lonely Mountain. He was understandably proud of that but was also being weirdly vague about which dwarf his father was. After asking several ways he finally admitted his father was "Lumpy". I said "You mean Bombur?". But know his father wasn't Bombur, but the otherwise pretty much forgotten member of the party "Lumpy" who was apparently more embarrassing than Bombur had been.

That was the whole dream.

This week, a few days ago, because I don't remember today's dreams:

Someone dropped droplets on a table, in four spots specifically. What could that be and mean? Oh, surely it's drugs. People came, pinched their finger tip with a needle, and put them in the drops. An interesting way to consume drugs for sure.

I felt droplets on my back. I anticipated being drugged and kidnabbed. Indeed I also felt a pinch. I faked delirium for a while. Someone indeed came, picked me up onto their shoulder, and carried me off.

When they unlocked a door to a room, I jumped up, pushed them in - they were baffled and confused -, and I closed the door. Two more showed up, so I pushed them in too.

In the next room there was a big room and bar. The bartender seemed to also be part of it, but less so.

Anyway, police came and arrested all four.

Suddenly - situation or environment change - a judge sits to my right, behind a table. She has heavy makeup on. Red lips, full face - probably white. Something happens that her makeup is removed (I don't remember; water?). She works on putting it back on.

To have her hands free she gives me a plastic stick, which has integrated on top something - circled, something transparent. (It doesn't factually look like one, more like a toy magic wand, but) It's a microphone, and we're in a party setting. Many people around, we celebrate the arresting and I guess my role in arresting.

So surely it's a microphone and she wants me to sing. I'm very averse. I circle around a bit, in a half dance or something, and get to someone and give them the stick. Confused they look at me. I tell them: "Pass it on."

I wake up. Maybe because of anxiety of having to sing in such a public setting.

How’d you know I had an ass dream last night??

Funny thing is, I did have a weird ass dream last night. My issue has always been I forget the content of the dreams almost instantly. I remember something weird, then I woke up and thought “Boy that was weird”. A moment later it was gone.

I was back in high school with my late friend who shared a first name with me. I kept wanting to tell him or show him things that I think he would find interesting, and we kept getting interrupted by everything else.

I've processed my grief and have come to terms with the reality that is a world without him in it, but sometimes my brain just likes to remind me, I guess. Miss you Goose, thanks for coming by.

I dreamed that vines were growing out of my legs with eggplants growing on them. I had to painfully rip them out one by one. I woke up to find that my mom had cooked eggplant for breakfast.

I had some big-ass PCs, something like skyscraper height

That's the only cool part

Also strange that they only required something like 3/4 3pin connectors, although I don't remember if they were normal or enormous ones

How did you know I dreamt of weird asses?!

Couple nights ago, but it was weird enough that I had to write it down, which I hardly ever do.

I was shopping at a supermarket at night, with terrible weather outside. Pitch black, howling wind and rain, real tornado weather. Trying to use my phone to look up something when I started to hear ominous creaks and pops from the roof. An employee comes on the staticky intercom to tell everyone to proceed calmly to the back area of the store, which of course triggers a near-panic. As we're all hustling to the back, the ongoing safety announcement sloooowly winds down in speed and pitch before everything kicks over to generator power. I'm one of the first to reach the back doors when I realize I left my phone behind on a shelf. Surely there's time to reach it?

Just as I reach my phone, the generator dies and everything is near-dark apart from a handful of emergency lights. The creaks and groans increase, then a huge tearing sound. It's not a tornado -- it's some giant horrible Cloverfield/Lovecraft/War of the Worlds monster ripping a hole in the back wall. A two-story greenish blob heaves into view with searching tentacles. Dozens of them catapult forward in long arcs and strike people, the rest flee in panic. I notice that each tentacle strike transforms the victim into a smaller creature, a couch-sized blob with a crazy happy expression. As they see people fleeing around them towards the front of the store, they toss smaller arced tentacles forward at angles to grab them. As they inch forward they start merging together like the T-1000. Real Mr. Frundles/The Thing vibes. The only chance was to hide behind stuff while they herded past/over you towards the front.

It kind of morphed from there into driving around outside in the daytime through a The Mist/Godzilla/Cloverfield pastiche, but that zombie arcing tentacle monster bit was really unsettling and I've got no idea where it came from.

One of the up sides of using weed is that sleep is instant and nice. One of the down sides is that you don't remember your dreams.

I gave my DIL a coffee table and she dragged it through the house scraping the wood floors and even bouncing it down steps into the sunken living room. I was so mad that i started yelling and took away her house key. I woke up angry and i wanted to cancel our lunch plans today. I have neither wood floors nor steps to the living room. 🤷🤷

I dreamt I was at school and the teacher said I was ungraduated because they realized they made a mistake on my finals grades (I didn't graduate that long ago), so I sat in school with the new students who at least looked my age. I asked my teacher if I could walk the hallway and comprehend that I was still in school, and she said yes. The rest of my dream was just me walking around.

I dreamt that I was sitting in a Taco Bell drinking down cups and cups of Mtn Dew Baja Blast. I eventually decided it was time to go home so I started walking. Mind you it was the middle of the night.

As I walked home I started to get paranoid someone was following me. As I got closer to my house I remember checking my phone and getting depressed because none of my family members tried to contact me to see where I was so late into the night.

Walked in the house and my dad was at the top of the stairs (we have a very good relationship so I was happy to see him), he didn't say anything to me, turned around and went into the kitchen, and I started tearing up. Woke up and was depressed for a few hours afterwords. :(

The FBI or CIA wanted me dead, so they hired Deadpool to take care of me. He thought he'd be too recognizable in his red suit, so he put on a disguise over his suit: a Deadpool t-shirt. Then he chased me through a massive warehouse doing some sick parkour stunts.

My ex was cheating on me, because that’s what she did irl too. Fun times.

I was painting models with Walter Mondales running mate.

I was on vacation with military contractors and in between hitting the beach with family had to try to sneak into a research facility to cover someone’s unapproved vacation.

I dreamt about being at the beach with my brother. We were wearing full suit and tie with dress shoes. We walked near the water but not close enough to get wet. We saw some guy on the water on one of those water bikes pushing around a warehouse on the water. My brother then started to run away as the waves started to get closer to us, I didn’t run away in time and my shoes and bottom of my pants got soaked. I walked back to the end of the beach where there was a 4 foot retaining wall. My brother was standing on top of it warning me about the waves. I assured him they wouldn’t reach this far back. Shortly after that the waves started crashing against me as I held on the retaining wall the waves started to crash over me and the wall continuously pouring over the wall now completely soaking both myself who was standing at the base of the wall in the sand and my brother who was standing on top of it. As the waves crashed against us and we got soaked we were looking at each other and just laughing, and then I woke up.

I didn't have this particular dream last night, but I have ir pretty often. I'm driving an old car, and the brakes are really really bad. I'm not going very fast, 10kph max, but suddenly I need to dodge an obstacle. I try to steer out of the way, but the steering is all wonky, and doesn't respond fast enough to my inputs. The brakes don't really work, so I just end up crashing. But because I was going so slow and I crashed into a stationary object, it doesn't really matter. That's where the dream always ends. There are never any repercutions, and the crash is never serious.

I always wonder what it means. Is my life not in my hands, but in the it doesn't really matter?