The human superpowers are basically throwing fastballs and jogging in hot weather. The ancestral hunting strategy is basically to throw stuff at the animals to get them to run, then jog after them. Repeat until the animal is too tired to move.
Humanity Fuck Yeah!
HFY - Humanity Fuck Yeah! is a community for writers and artists to showcase their talent in the HFY genre and for people who enjoy them.
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In the world of HFY, humanity is bestowed with exceptional qualities, giving rise to a sense of optimism and empowerment within the reader. It seeks to uplift and inspire, demonstrating the potential of human greatness and the capacity for overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds.
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There are still humans who do this to this day, the most notable being the tarahumara tribes of South America. They will literally run down the local deer barefoot for their food.
Humans are insanely adapted to be endurance runners compared with the rest of the animal kingdom which, if you think about it, kind of makes sense. It takes a LOT less energy for a cheetah to sprint down an antelope in 3 minutes than to chase it for 3 hours, so they adapted to be great sprinters. Likewise, the antelope only has to outrun the cheetah for 3 minutes so they, too, became great sprinters. For small mammals it makes more sense to be able to run very fast and hide from predators than to run long distances in potentially dangerous territory.
Since there was no evolutionary incentive for animals to run marathons they never developed the biology to do so, and we see this not just in mammals, but in reptiles, too. Horses are an exception to this though as they, too, are well adapted to distance running although iirc their adaptations are more in the way of making it mechanically easy (long, strong legs, huge hearts, etc.) to run long distances rather than the cooling systems humans developed.
Humans just kind of lucked out or perhaps ended up filling an evolutionary niche due to our need to cover long ranges with scarce food sources in our early evolutionary development.
And here I am, a couch potato that can barely jog for over 90 seconds before feeling like i'm going to die.
The humans running down animals for hours also feel like that after a bit fyi. They are just hungry enough to keep running.
I have some friends who are into serious long distance running and they are constantly in a state of suffering while running. It's the feeling of stopping running that makes them keep wanting to go running, not the feeling of the actual running.
I'm a distance runner, and I don't know if you've captured running all that well tbh. I certainly don't go out for my Sunday long run looking forward to the finish. It's pretty enjoyable when you're training, but I concede that racing is difficult and can turn into prolonged suffering.
That's not true though. I used to run long distance all the time because I enjoyed running. It was really meditatitive. Plus if you run long enough you get a runners high, which is exactly what it sounds like.
But that's not it. We've also got the social aspect that brought us, as a species, to the apex to be able to hunt animals that could kill us easily individually, some of us have the balls to dominate those animals even alone, and the intelligence to develop novel tools to increase our capabilities and effective cross-generational communication to enable iterating these tools over many lifespans.
Through this, humans or our descendants might one day hunt apex predators on other planets that maybe are better joggers and throwers than we are.
Fuck that, seems like too much work. I'll just order a pizza... /s
We invented the flame thrower. I know George Carlin did the bit best but... Imagine explaining that to a group of aliens.
"You... you throw what now?"
"Flames, bro."
"For what purpose...?"
"Well, We had these people called Nazis and they liked to hide in concrete fortifications so we figured the best way to make them not be in there would be to fill it with fire."
"Does that not harm these 'nazis'?"
"Oh yeah, it harms them. That was like, a bonus."
"Well, It was nice meeting you. Goodbye forever."
But wait! Let us tell you about the mustard gas!
Or white phosphorus! Wait, wait... how about the inquisition? Or the rape of south america or the roman catholic church...
Damn, why does everybody leave?
King Leopold and the Belgian Congo.
"So we created these chemicals for wars..."
"Ah, killing the enemy efficiently!"
"Well, no."
"So they knock them out temporarily?"
"Haha, not exactly..."
"Then they're useless?"
"No. They just really mess them up. It goes into their body really easily and it's super carcinogenic, permanently fucks their DNA up, basically eats their skin, probably causes them to go blind, and will make them mentally fucked up. But it takes hours for them to notice the effect."
"...What the hell is wrong with you guys?"
... however, flamethrowers were fielded by the Germans first, and already in the previous World War.
Uh, you ought to read about what the British did in that war. They hid a bunch of massive, buried pop-up flame throwers in no-man's land and used them to cook a bunch of Germans.
Monkeys have both force and accuracy when pelting humans with feces.
This is just inaccurate.
It's just a good rule of thumb to write off science memes as bullshit.
I’ve seen enough videos of chimps and gorillas throwing shit at people that I don’t want to test this claim.
Yeah, most species take FOREVER to get the hang of projectile weapons and us big brained humans only took like 5.5 million years to perfect it! That's practically no time at all!
The first wars were thought to be a bunch of people facing off and throwing rocks and sticks at each other. We've been throwing shit for as long as we could walk
I did read somewhere that our brains are really good at calculating where to throw to hit something in motion.
Granted you need practice to get good, but supposedly we are wired for it.
There's a correlation between eyesight and intelligence (in species, not individuals) - interpreting visual inputs takes a lot of brain power, and might be one of the factors pushing for greater intelligence. So, there's at least a decent chance that intelligent aliens would have good eyesight.
Also, they'd need hands, or something equivalent.
Once you have hand(equivalent)s, decent eyes, and intelligence, hand-eye-coordination isn't far off.
If elephants can figure out how to throw rocks with enough force to kill a child, then so can E.T.
Apes can't yell "Kobe" because they can't speak. Apes also can't throw with accuracy. Coincidence? I think not.
Inverse Kinematics is really cool. Whenever you move your hand to a position, you're only thinking of your hand moving to that position, but there's an order of operations you dont even think about. For your hand to be in the right spot your forearm has to be in the right spot, and for your forearm to be in the right spot your upper arm has to be in the right spot. Your brain subconsciously calculates those movements. This enables very accurate motions, your hand can follow a smooth, deliberate arc towards your target
If true, it's probably because humans have mostly slow twitch muscle fibers (e.g., great for endurance and manual dexterity) while great apes are mostly fast twitch muscle fibers (good for raw strength). That's why a chimpanzee, who is much smaller than a person, can perform feats pf strength that would embarrass most strong-man competitors. OTOH, humans evolved to run; the kind of long-distance running that some people do for fun would kill other primates.
Elephants can throw stuff fairly accurately. Not very far though.
I just spent several seconds trying to figure out if "kobe" is some imaginary alien word I'm supposed to know from Star Trek or something.
You shout Yeet for power and Kobe (RIP) for accuracy
I need a mass effect comic of this, with garrus just like "how do I learn this power" or something
Footbal literally penalises you for touching the ball with your hand?
That's only because humans are too good at throwing balls to each other. They just use feet to make it harder. That's the exception that proves the rule.
This ability is what made us weaker apes the "apex predator" of the planet.