We never had quite this problem, but my mother also does not have me and my siblings last name.
My mother could kill with a look if someone did not believe her though, and we clung to her like a lifeboat in the end times, so people just went "okay guess they're yours"
Yeah, turns out a lot of preppers can food.
I love canning! Hate everything else. I just want to look up recipes for candied jalapeños without also hearing about batshit theories.