this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2026
534 points (100.0% liked)
WomensStuff
1289 readers
424 users here now
Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.
Rules…
- Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women's community is a good fit for them.
- Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
- Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
- No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.
- New accounts or users with few comments may have their posts removed to prevent spam and bad-faith participation.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
...I think the issue is in pretending she is not interested. What part of feigning disinterest indicates "standards"?
Is a woman some kind of loose trollop because she admits to some initial attraction?
Society very often conditions women to feel like they are sluts if they act too interested.
Great. Fuck society and their expectations. They can't stop you all.
Could be that she sees potential but needs more interaction to determine if what she sees is real or a play. Many men put on airs and then drop them after a time. Could be she has many things going on and needs to cull the attention for a time. Could be she has been told by mentors that being too interested is perceived as easy or slutty. Many, many reasons to be attracted and act like you're not. Sometimes flirting involves a back and forth. No means no but thats not what the second category is talking about. Thats the third.
No means no, but some people are scared to say "no" because others don't react well to "no." So they deflect when they mean "no."
Then the reasonable suitor, aware of the broader context, has to assume anything but a "yes" is a "no", or else risk contributing to the problem.
I don't think so. There are plenty of ways to signal you want to continue a conversation or see each other again without a "yes, let's fuck." Most reasonable suitors, in my experience, understand the context of "not yes, yet."
Edit: sorry, I'm juggling multiple threads. This basis was in a different thread, so this was not established.
We were not operating under the belief that "yes" meant "immediate fucking." It was "(openly) interested," "interested but feigning disinterest," and "uninterested." I'd say "signaling that you want to continue conversing with or seeing each other again" falls pretty squarely into "interested."
There is a possible disconnect between platonic and sexual or romantic interest even between the people talking but we're booking interest as interest.
Ah, got it.