this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2026
255 points (94.7% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

41107 readers
3905 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] toothpaste_sandwich@thebrainbin.org 28 points 1 day ago (3 children)

They both look so furious.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 7 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

He is mad because his toilet is hooked up to a dryer vent and she's furious because, for some reason, her toilet uses electricity instead of water. Both sound like smelly affairs.

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago

And both shit their pants and are wondering why it isn't in the toilet.

[–] Klear@piefed.world 12 points 1 day ago

Willing your pants away takes concentration.

[–] Abyssian@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (2 children)

How else do you force it out at quick as possible? Takes concentration. You need to close your mouth and push out with your poo muscles while simultaneously trying to force air out of your closed mouth. As illustrated this advanced shitting can make your entire face turn very red, then get super pale. It's because all of the toxins are leaving with the poo.

Your first few times you'll start to feel light headed, perhaps very light headed. Just keep your mouth closed and keep pushing as hard as you can. That's the feeling of the toxins being pulled from your blood and organs. It's very healthy.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Pretty sure my step son used this tutorial, he passed out on the toilet once.

[–] Abyssian@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago

Glad to hear he's trying to keep up with the latest medical advances in shitting. ^^

[–] Winter_Oven@piefed.social 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Abyssian@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

You misspelled it, the brochure I got says it's called "Analeurysm", and is the certified medical practice of releasing all the toxins your body otherwise pulls from the air through osmosis and accumulates for no real reason through your anus.

I heard about from the health blogger who sells me snake oil wellness shakes. To be honest, I was a bit skeptical at first, but I asked my Chiropractor when I took my 6 week old infant child in for the adjustment of the newborn, soft, still malleable and forming bones in his back that he'd told me the week before all babies need so they don't develop crickets and he assured me that Analeurysm is 100% legit and even hooked me up with the brochure at a discount.

I try to always follow the latest medical science, and Chiropractors are legally allowed to call themselves doctors, so we can all be sure they know their medical science and are all straight shooters who can be trusted al your infant's spine, the latest breakthroughs in shitting, and all of our money. 👍