this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 65 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The crazy part is it doesn't matter who you voted for, everyone on both sides would generally love to help their neighbor and would offer a hand. It's just when people get involved in the macro sense that they get filled with hate and anger. Makes me sad. Let's just all move couches.

[–] jtrek@startrek.website 53 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Conservatives are often nice to people they know. The in-group. The problem is when it's a scary other. So they'll let Jose couch surf for a week while he sorts out his housing situation, because he's a good guy down on his luck, but they'll rage against Those People getting anything.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago

That's my understanding too. It's like empathy just ends at one's own line of sight. If I can't see it or touch it, there may be something wrong with it. It's infuriating.

[–] Rinox@feddit.it 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, but he's different, he's not like the others that you see on the news

[–] Zannsolo@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

My FIL literally helped an undocumented Mexican who worked for him become a citizen, but is anti immigration.

[–] FoxtrotDeltaTango@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Because they are chudservatives , they are only nice to people they know and like

They are hateful to people they don’t know and don’t like, people who don’t have the same opinions, and people who don’t hold the same beliefs

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz -2 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Can we do that without the latent ableism that comes along with it, like the idea that if you can't help people move couches then you don't deserve anyone else's help either?

This especially effects people with invisible disabilities, who are already viewed as lazy, but who also might be the most helpless when it comes to moving their own furniture.

[–] Boost@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I think it's kind of ablist to assume a disabled person has nothing of value to offer, like if they can't move a couch then they are excluded. "Moving a couch" could be anything, it could be filing taxes or cooking a meal. Disabled people are good at stuff too. I think it's really weird for you to make this assumption.

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Honestly it's both. Plenty of people with disabilities have plenty to offer. A lot actually don't though, and they still deserve that helping hand.
A family aquatintance has some mental and physical disabilities. They're just not going to be able to help in any way that isn't superficial. And that's okay. Their worth isn't defined by their utility.

Attaching how worthwhile it is to help someone to their ability to provide a service inherently says the person who can't isn't worthy of help.

We should be good to people because it's the right thing to do, not out of the expectation of a future repayment. More pragmatically, we should help based on the assumption that the other person would, and that if everyone acted like that the world would be better.

I think the other person read a bit much into it, but their base point isn't wrong.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thank you! You phrased it better than I could.

I find it wild that most people here can't see through their own assumptions. Like, everyone else needs to examine their own biases. Not them though, they could never be biased. It shows such a lack of self-awareness on their part.

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

My dad had a prosthetic leg, and he bristled at some of the polite or accepting ways that people would talk about disability in a way that stuck with me because he explained it. Basically a dislike of "handicapable" or the notion that you "make up for it" in other ways. To paraphrase: "getting my foot cut off in a car accident didn't come with some perk that balanced things out".

I think a lot of the pushback you got came not from a place of rejecting that they could have a bias, but from the topic being broached as a confrontation of bias instead of an explanation of ignorance.
People, like the poster above, who are being conscientious according to their understanding will get indignant or frustrated when that's met with an unmatched response.

Assuming positive intent colors implicit "positive abelism", or other "positive -isms" that I'm personally less knowledgeable about, as unfamiliarity or ignorance rather than callousness or rudeness.
In those cases, the person is very unlikely to disagree or pushback if informed about their blind spot. The key part in their head was "disabled people are just as important", sitting right next to "good people chip in and contribute". So they respond to "disabled people can't always contribute" with "disabled people are important!" phrased as "disabled people can contribute!”.

Addressing it as a bias against disabled people doesn't fit because that part is correct. Need to address it at where the problem is: a misconception about the relationship between human worth, labor and utility.

[–] axx@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I agree. Even if the task at hand really is moving a couch, coordinatin, organising, etc. are crucial contributions that dont require physical strength or ableness to do.

[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Just because you can't lift the couch doesn't mean you can't help. Someone has to pick up the beer, someone has to drive the truck. Someone needs to hold the doors while they carry it in, someone needs to know a guy who can help, the list of things goes on for miles.

[–] infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net 8 points 1 week ago (9 children)

My partner has disabilities and so they do not help lift the sofa. But they are a lot better at driving a manual truck than I am, so with a few pillows and adaptations in the driver's cab that is what they do when someone needs a sofa moved. Some disabilities prevent you from driving the truck too, but it's important as a group of sofa movers to make sure that everyone has something they can fulfill, even if that means planning the move. That can be incredibly helpful.

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[–] GalacticGrapefruit@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Cool thing about being disabled is you become the one who knows the people with a truck and a couple 20-year old children. Or the person who cuts hair for free. Or the person whose cousin does pro bono legal work for certain requests.

In short, you become the key connector in that network: the Guy Who Knows A Guy.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz -4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It sounds like you're putting a lot of weight in your own experience and assuming every disabled person will have the same experience.

Maybe you or someone you know is disabled and is that connector who knows a guy. But projecting that and assuming every other disabled person will have that same advantage is a wild thing to do, and I'm surprised that more people don't see through that.

[–] TessaRekt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's less an advantage and more a necessity. You either become the person who knows people who can do things or certain things don't get done.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 0 points 1 week ago

Yes, you're right about that. And that's precisely why people who can't form those connections are at such a disadvantage.

[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My wife has a physical disability, she is an "asker", as in knows she will need help from others and so will ask random people, and also connects a lot of people together. Maybe not everyone becomes that, but it sort of forces you to.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 week ago

Why is everyone relying so hard on using specific counterexamples as a counterargument?

Counterexamples only refute absolute statements. If I said "no one with a disability can find the help they need in this kind of system," then sure, listing a few people with disabilities who do find the help they need would be enough to refute that statement.

But that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is "not everyone (including, but not limited to people with disabilities) can find the help they need in this kind of system."

It's a completely different statement, because it's not an absolute. I'm not saying that no exceptions exist. I'm saying that exceptions do exist to the opposite statement, i.e. "everyone (including people with disabilities) can find the help they beed in this kind of system." Which, by the way, is an absolute statement.

So in fact I'm the one arguing against an absolute, and people try refuting me as if I'm stating an absolute when I'm not.

And unless anyone wants to argue that every single person in this system is able to find the help they need when they need it, then there's really no way to argue against my point, because my entire point is simply that that's not true. There are people who get left out, and any attempt to claim otherwise is erasure.

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You better come with some jokes then. When I'm moving some bulky furniture upstairs and really not having a good time, sometimes a well-timed joke is exactly what we need to drop it and injure ourselves.

[–] FudgyMcTubbs@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Kevin and Tony would definitely move a sofa for a person with disabilities. No doubt in my mind. They'd still expect pizza and beer tho, that's non-negotiable.