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Incidentally, I find popular stoicism to be grossly misapplied machismo (aka broicism). Just further evidence, along with Christianity, that people will take whatever you say and read what they want to hear into it.
That's a good point. They were trying to avoid what modern philosophy calls sentimentality, not emotion altogether.
Agreed. I'm quite into stoicism myself but really tend to avoid contemporary stoic media because I assume it's just going to be more broicism. I'll be sticking to the ancients.
Yeah, bros see "do not let your emotions run your life" and they think it means to become an unfeeling terminator who's never affected by anything. People see 'broics' regurgitate toxic masculinity, labeling it stoicism, and think that's what the philosophy is about.
'I'm a stoic, therefore I don't have to talk about my feelings ever!'
I had this stoic ex who was perfectly stoic, until he was not. Rinse and repeat perfect stoicism and mental crisis mode several times, and when he decided to also be a solipsist I left ...
What does keep the guys mentally well? I do suspect it works a little different to what women prefer.
That' s a tough question to answer. I think lots of men do just as well in therapy, but lots of men find the whole thing extremely intimidating. I'd like to say they can just do their own work, without having to be vulnerable around someone else, but if they've been taught that being vulnerable is wrong, how are they going to let themselves be vulnerable even to themselves? How would they learn that it's OK?
I think maybe having male friends whom they respect be emotionally mature and caring people would probably be the best thing.
I'm not the right guy to ask. I see all this propaganda for "being vulnerable IS STRONG and VERY MACHO" and "being loving and caring is the most MANLY thing you can be" and my response is, "What are you fucking 3-years-old defining your entire personality by your genitalia?" The whole gender binary to me is ridiculous, but a lot of people cling to it for dear life.