We can only speculate based on your description and you already had a big tendency towards the "getting laid" explanation. Maybe he really didnt feel it as much as you thought he did. Maybe he was horny on the first date. Maybe he was looking for long-term but saw you as "short-term material" (whatever that means exactly, Im not in the dating game) and when you closed that door he backed up.

For a lot of (immature) guys, dating is a game with roles to play, in order to get laid. One thing that some guys do is pretend to want a serious relationship to draw in women willing to commit on the first or second date.

It's a terrible thing to do, but some guys will go to any lengths to convince a lady to go to bed with them. Finding decent men in the sea of childish boys can be a challenge, but playing it slow and respectful will help to separate the two. A real man will respect your requests and autonomy, not challenge them or give passive-aggressive responses.

The fact that he tuned out as soon as you told him to take it easy speaks volumes about the kind of guy he is. He's definitely looking for a quick lay and when that was off the table, he lost interest. You should consider it a good thing that he decided to call it off. He's not wasting any more of your time with incompatible goals in mind.

Gestures on a first date mean basically nothing. Everyone is presenting a “very best” version of themselves. It’s easy to do for an evening.

When a narcissistic (or other personality disorder) person has disposed of us, it’s normal to feel totally disorientated. I’m assuming too much here, but I’ve seen this pattern often so since you sound surprised I’ll just elaborate a little.

Unfortunately there are many men out there who only really experience feelings around their base desires: eating, drinking, sex, etc. They want to be satiated, but because they lack empathy they can’t engage normally with people. So they calculate in advance how to maximise charm and speed up results. They’ve gotten good at this from spending a lot of time observing people and wondering why they’re not like them. Usually from an early age.

Once they’ve gotten what they want, it’s like having just had a large meal. They cannot face us anymore, and faking interest even becomes harder. When the appetite builds up again they either return or find their next source of supply.

It’s usually best to find someone new who sees them as new and interesting. That feels really good, and nobody who has known them a bit longer can really provide them with that bedazzled reaction that the narcissist craves.

They look like normal people, work, make small talk etc, to blend in well when they have to but they’re not like us.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I know the feeling.

Do you really want to fix this, though? Take a step back from the emotions and look at the whole picture.

If you do start a relationship with this man, this is the foundation you'd be building it on. He's already shown you that he has issues respecting your physical boundaries and with communication. How do you expect a conversation to unfold in a way that would "fix" this? What could he say that would make you feel like his behavior was acceptable? If he said those magic words, should you even believe them?

I know it's rough out there dating-wise, but don't settle. And when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

You have a crush. It will nag you for a little while but it will pass. Also, one of the sexiest quality in someone you like/are attracted to is reciprocity. That guy is not it.