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I have an idea for a post, some may have seen a comment of mine earlier. I’m looking for the most offensive-to-coffee-snobs approach to making coffee possible. I’m assuming something to do with instant, but from there, I don’t have many ideas.

Someone suggested reconstituting it in milk, that seems fun, any other ideas? I’m fully expecting the end result to be absolutely disgusting, for what it’s worth. I’m looking for the worst abomination possible, but it still needs to technically be coffee. Get creative, have fun with this. Whichever technique gets chosen (or multiple get combined), I’ll credit in the post I make.

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[-] filcuk@feddit.uk 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Good beans are important. Single origin farm. Light roast, not too old, ideally local roaster.
Next, open the bag and let it sit. There are all sorts of volatiles in those beans. Sounds scary.
A month later, crush them with a hammer and boil in a pot for 5 minutes.
Optionally sieve into a cup. Add banana flavouring. Serve luke-warm.

[-] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 days ago
[-] BurntWits@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

I might be murdered for trying that.

this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2026
85 points (92.9% liked)

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