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this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2026
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Werner Herzog narrates Looney Tunes:
The coyote is a lost soul, damned to a meaningless chase in a landscape of indifference. He paints a tunnel on a rock wall, only to watch the Road Runner sprint into the paradise. He pursues, but feels only the harsh, unyielding stone of reality.
Desperate, he holds an ACME pistol to his temple, a final exit from this cruel game. The trigger is pulled. Silence. He opens one eye to a mocking flag that reads "BANG!"
The coyote remains paralyzed by the absurdity of his own existence, knowing that in this echoing wasteland, the only thing more certain than hunger is the cruelty of the joke.
I was going to try to re-spell everything using Herzog phonetics, but damned if I'm not struggling. It's like he makes completely different choices than any native speaker would, but never does anything "wrong" that would be revealed in spelling. I bet people who are facile with the IPA can crack each each other up by transcribing Wernerish, but I am, sadly, not that person.