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I'm really sorry everyone...this is all my own damn fault, I'm not denying that in the slightest.

spoilerI was planning to die today. But I guess I'm not even capable of doing that.
This is all because I'm such an overdramatic, pathetic loser, an excuse for a human being. After an appointment with a new psychiatrist where her first question was "What is your deadname?" and after she told me I "started HRT late", I just fell into a deeper spiral. Now there's uncertainty if I'll even be able to go to Thailand for SRS, which made me full on suicidal upon finding out, so I just kinda...broke.
And there's the constant regret of not starting sooner, constant self-deprecating and loathing from feeling like I'll never be a woman. Hating my face and body every single waking second.
I'm just...depressed and not doing well right now. And I'm making it everybody's problem.

I'm sorry, but I guess I'm sticking around. I'm not dead just yet. I'm making a new account and starting over. But...at least, maybe you'll believe me now that I'm not actually a good person?
I'm really sorry. I'm actually the worst. I know that.

Maybe I should have died. Maybe. But...instead I guess I'll bother you all some more, again, from zero.
I'm sorry for being such an unimaginable fuckup...

Sincerely,
a very depressed trans girl,
Miisha

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[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 4 points 5 days ago

Y'all should be angry at me. You should hate me, at least as much as I hate myself. I'm taking up space in this community that other people need and deserve...god I'm pathetic

[-] kibblebits@quokk.au 13 points 5 days ago

There’s unlimited space for you.

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 6 points 5 days ago

Thanks. I feel like an intruder, but I guess I'm still here, so...

no.effin'.way i ever get angry at you. told you many others here and i, all of us really, love you.

πŸ«‚πŸ«‚πŸ«‚πŸ«‚πŸ«‚ take some hugs, got an infinite amount for you.

you are a vulnerable sister who's been told horrendous things by someone who should know better and should not see any trans people ever again. heck ! she should be banned from being a psychatrist

[-] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago

Hi from new account!

You are officially French sweetheart now 🩷
Hope you're alright with that tag/title...

[-] DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml 3 points 5 days ago

new account? we doing tags now? you, my dear, cannot escape from the tag i gave you last month!

[-] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 5 days ago

Ngl, I was looking forward to getting back my tag πŸ˜‚. "Housegirlfriend" is just such a cute, wholesome term.
Thank you so much πŸ’œ


You are officially Mistress of eyeliner now! Hope that's okay...
You did an amazing job with that eyeliner post tho. And your face is super pretty! ❀️

[-] DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml 3 points 5 days ago

aww, thanks :3
(both the tag and the compliment!)

[-] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago

No problem dear πŸ’œ

how lovely of you 😊 I am totally fine with it

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 3 points 5 days ago

Loutre, tysm 😭
Yeah she was pretty bad. Still gives me trazodone and escitalopram tho and I wanna try those to see if they help. She's my med supply for now...

Thank you so much β™₯️

I'm there and I ain't going anywhere so … feel free to message whenever you need to

[-] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago

Tysm 😭

About the user tag...I see you have someone (someone very nice), so if it's too much, just let me know and I'll get rid of it ❀️. It's just a silly little thing

don't worry about the tag, it feels perfect as is :3

yup she's my special someone ^^ I love her so much for being there for me and I do my best being there for her 🩷

[-] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago

That's really wholesome! Super happy for you two. Best of luck and much happiness, lovelies ❀️

thank youuu 🩷

(btw i see she called you sis, so your are our sister :3)

[-] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago

Omggg, tysm! 😭
I feel blessed. Thank you so much, you two! πŸ’œ

[-] TheOtterInside@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

love you, sis πŸ’œ

this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2026
51 points (93.2% liked)

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