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Simon Pegg on the Cornell Rapists
(lemmy.nz)
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this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2026
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Fauxmoi
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This is going to be an unpopular take, but one of the main reasons many of these assholes act like they do is because they get rewarded for it.
Yes teach men to be decent and respectful, and hopefully the message will get through where it can.
But you also need to teach women not to buy into "confidence" and guys that act like prats. There's going to be a lot of denial about this but a lot of women do buy into this, and turn their noses up at guys that are polite and self restrained, which comes across inevitably as weakness/shyness/ etc etc.
Teach women to reject sleaze and it would play a huge role in reducing bad behaviour from men. I've seen first hand women who are ostensibly feminist and progressive, defending sleazy men, who were literally grabbing women on the ass and saying gross things, and they defended the guy because to them it was attractive and fun (other women absolutely did not see it the same way). No, fuck that. Sleaze is bad, full stop, and you have to reject it all the time, and also reject confident macho behaviour as well. Women who reward this are absolutely part of the problem (and solution) as well
Genuine question- how early do you think such teaching should occur? Because for many of us (women), predation on us starts much younger than men seem to realize. The truth is, if we were to focus on teaching women to avoid groomers, we’d need to have full-on courses on psychology for elementary schoolers.
Now let’s logically follow through your idea here. So if we were to successfully teach girls (because again, if you wait to teach “women” then you’re already too late) to avoid “confident” men, what’s going to happen? Hm seems like a lot of boys would end up being avoided by girls, treated pre-emptively as rapists. Isn’t that what the manosphere complains about already? That girls and women don’t “give guys a chance” or what-have-you?
Buddy, you were close to making a good point, but this is not a tactful way to say what you're trying to say. This is victim blaming.
We should teach boys not to be rapists.
Teaching girls how to spot a rapist is not a bad thing either, as long as teaching boys not to be rapists is still the priority.
But women who date rapist men are not "part of the problem", they are often the victims of rape. They are the victims, and you are directing blame at them. Fuck off with that toxic shit.
You're missing the point, the #notallmen stuff is referring to wider culture, and how people enable it. This is outside of individual perpetrators and victims, so you can't narrow the focus on just that.
Yes men that participate in toxic masculinity further this environment.
But also, women that participate in toxic masculinity also enable it, and should also be part of the conversation.
This is not victim blaming in any way shape or form
We live in a patriarchal society that hurts both genders in different ways.
It’s still not women’s fault when they are raped by men. It’s those men’s faults.
yes, its definitely the womens fault, totally
do I need the /s?
Toxic masculinity is a societal issue, it is fueled by both men and women, and requires both men and women to deal with it.
In this case yes, women also participate in enabling toxic masculinity
I have a better idea. Let's punish rapists.
Hot take: People who focus on punishment rather than prevention don't really care about victims.
I prefer a solution where a woman didn't get raped at all.
Cold as the last ring of hell take: criminals must be punished. Without punishment men will continue raping, harassing, stalking, groping, etc. because they know they will be just fine, especially if they are in power.
We should focus on both.
Quips like that just sound like dismissive brain rot.
Yes punish them, yes teach men to avoid toxic masculinity
AND
teach women to not reward toxic masculinity as well