Velma, this is exactly why I love you so much 💚

overarching conversation is about how we prevent horrific crimes like gang rape is a choice a lot of men are making in here.

That is not how the conversation is framed. The conversation is framed on shaming and bullying all men, because some men are rapist. Why are you surprised that many react negatively to it?

If you feel it’s more important to soothe men’s hurt feelings about being in the same group as most rapists rather than focusing on how we reduce rape, y

Do you remember the bear in the woods?

If the narrative (in the mass media) was about reducing rape, it would be focused on HOW to do it. Not on tar and feather. This is not productive, this is airing anger.

I live in the EU (location is important in rape prevention discussion), a country in dead center of it. There was once a panel about rape prevention in tv, some minor politician, that's it.

Noone really offers any solutions, even in this thread, so I can well damn start.

There are multiple reasons why people commit rape, how they do, why thy feel enabled. Those are ALWAYS tied to the culture, as law doesn't prevent crime, only dictates punishments.

Do we agree on that?

Lets distinguish native rape crimes from foreign-born rape crimes, and focus only on the first (example, Germany, 40% perpetrators are foreign born).

Continuing on our example, Germany, when asked and studied, convinced rapists often turn out to be societal "losers", with reinforced online presence especially in "incel" and similar circles, including blackpill etc communities. Even the underground ones. When studied, psychologists often ascribe the crime to entitlement or desire for domination. The future rapists feel validated by anonymous people online, until the thought of commiting rape normalizes in their heads.

I can't be the only person who thinks the solution to this particular portion of the problem (in our example likely the largest) is quite simple: mandatory online ids, that remove the possibility of anonymous circles. Break the enablers group.

I wondered where some of those incels went after the Reddit exodus. I don't wonder anymore.

You know, there's a quote about the Holocaust from a student from Germany that I will always remember: "It is not [my] fault, but it is [my] responsibility."

And I kinda feel like that's the sort of mentality men should have about this problem. Maybe you didn't rape women. Maybe you had to deal with man-hating women. Maybe you suffered trauma for being a man.

Personally, none of those things sort of excuse hating women, especially because this post is about the systems of oppression women face, especially in regards to sexual assault and society's willingness to overlook it. Like, I get that many men have similar stories to you, but when you post about how you struggled to overcome your hate for women, I'm frankly baffled why you think anyone, let alone women, would fucking care? Do you want to people to congratulate you for being a better person? Okay, good job, keep doing the bare minimum people would expect. But, frankly, your post doesn't even contain information that might help someone in your situation because all you did was blame women in your life for your hate. So, in all due kindness, fuck off or take responsibility. I don't care which.

I will be extraordinarily fair and say it is not your fault you developed hate for women, but it should be your fucking responsibility to stop hate for women, especially as you are more complicit than others. But me saying all this will probably make you then act like you are the victim in this exchange for getting called out instead of doing your part to help others.

This post has nothing to do with hating men and everything to do with figuring out how we reduce rape.

It's funny, I was raised the exact opposite, In a house with men who hated women(and shoved thier truama at me, ehem).. and I dont hate men, never did, just a few specific people.