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Simon Pegg on the Cornell Rapists
(lemmy.nz)
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this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2026
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Yeah so as a guy raised around man hating women it took a very long time for me to stop hating women because of the bullshit they projected onto me just because I had a penis.
Teach your sons how to be good men but don't constantly shove your trauma down their throats or they're gonna end up becoming the very men you despise.
You know, there's a quote about the Holocaust from a student from Germany that I will always remember: "It is not [my] fault, but it is [my] responsibility."
And I kinda feel like that's the sort of mentality men should have about this problem. Maybe you didn't rape women. Maybe you had to deal with man-hating women. Maybe you suffered trauma for being a man.
Personally, none of those things sort of excuse hating women, especially because this post is about the systems of oppression women face, especially in regards to sexual assault and society's willingness to overlook it. Like, I get that many men have similar stories to you, but when you post about how you struggled to overcome your hate for women, I'm frankly baffled why you think anyone, let alone women, would fucking care? Do you want to people to congratulate you for being a better person? Okay, good job, keep doing the bare minimum people would expect. But, frankly, your post doesn't even contain information that might help someone in your situation because all you did was blame women in your life for your hate. So, in all due kindness, fuck off or take responsibility. I don't care which.
I will be extraordinarily fair and say it is not your fault you developed hate for women, but it should be your fucking responsibility to stop hate for women, especially as you are more complicit than others. But me saying all this will probably make you then act like you are the victim in this exchange for getting called out instead of doing your part to help others.
This post has nothing to do with hating men and everything to do with figuring out how we reduce rape.
I probably shouldn't have commented in the first place but here we are.
I get the sentiment here and truly understand this posts intent and meaning and the message behind it but the problem is the type of man that would do these horrible things is gonna completely ignore it. All it really does is make young boys think all women hate them just for existing which drives them towards the very men who do these things because they don't treat them like the scum of the earth just for existing.
I don't have a solution to the problem. Tbh I'm kind of a misanthrope and see humanity as a whole as a lost cause in the first place. But I can tell you from personal experience that constantly hearing about all men being trash does nothing but cause men to hate women and want to do things that hurt them as a result.
You can teach your sons how to be good people without giving them trauma by constantly telling them they're inherently evil just because they have a penis.
It's so odd. My upbringing turned me into a people pleaser for too long. I was 14 and giving my drunk step father life advice/therapy, of course to which idk. I was 14, and trying to help. He did make me hate myself, but, I knew women werent evil, and it was a "him" problem.
Honestly, I knew my family was messed up because of shows like Full House, Family Matters, and Fresh Prince. Media, in this age, is the only connection I can make, how I survived this wrath without "pilling" myself into some complex. I of course have had complexes to work through over the years, but never did I want to hurt others based on my hurt inside. I hurt inside, I wanted to give out kindness. I dont know why I went this way, and others go the opposite. Them shows in early childhood modeled how a "normal" family works.. I guess? I took it seriously at that age, to be morally upstanding, even as everyone around me was grey at best.
I too a bit of a misanthrope, lately anyway, but I have a son. It comes down to parents needing to be emotionally ready to teach thier kids, and lead by example. idk, i dont have answers, but I appreciate your honesty here.
No one is advocating for hating all men and boys here. The people in here pushing that women hate all men are being disingenuous as fuck and focusing the conversation on soothing men’s feelings instead of actually talking about the issue of rape.
Except this whole post is about how women say "all men" and men refuting that.
Violence against women is a serious problem. Rape, murder, physical/emotional torture. They all exist and it's abhorrent in every sense.
As I've said before, teach your sons how to be good people but stop putting your trauma on them. A mother telling her son all the bad things men have done to her is one thing. A mother telling her son that all men are evil is completely different.
I'm not trying to take away from the fact that a lot of men raise their sons this way. I hate those men with a burning passion. I'm just saying that all these posts and messages and shit aren't helping, and in a lot of cases are actually making things worse, because the type of man that would do these things isn't gonna listen and the type of man that wouldn't do these things is gonna feel attacked because they know they'd never do those things.
Idk how to fix the problem. I'm not part of it. I call other men out for their behavior. I've personally stopped several men from hurting women. But I'm still lumped in because it's "all men".
What? No it's not. Did you read the posted image? Simon Pegg is a man, btw.
No shit. That you are blaming mothers for how their sons turn out is telling. It's not women's sole responsibility to make sure men don't rape us.
Oh trust me I'm aware of who Simon is and I feel disgusting debating all this because I understand the real meaning behind it.
I'm just trying to say the messaging isn't reaching or impacting the men you're trying to call out. All it's doing is causing boys who did nothing to fall down the alt-right pipeline that leads to becoming the men you're trying to call out
How do you know unless you are one of those men?
Because I'm smart enough to realize that the type of man who's willing to rape someone isn't gonna be deterred by any of this. He's gonna do it regardless.
The man who beats his wife isn't gonna see a billboard that says "beating women is wrong" and suddenly go "my god, I should really stop beating my wife"
So we just give up and say it's in the nature of man to rape? We can't fix this?
I have much higher views of men and their ability to empathize and be kind.
Like I've previously said, I don't have a solution. I wish I did because holy shit this is all fucked.
I wish I had a higher view of men, hell of humans in general. But I've studied history and it's been fucked from the beginning. Hence me being a misanthrope.
It's funny, I was raised the exact opposite, In a house with men who hated women(and shoved thier truama at me, ehem).. and I dont hate men, never did, just a few specific people.
I commend you for that. I know people who were raised in similar circumstances and didn't take the red pill.
My point is that a lot of people in that situation end up going the complete opposite direction due to internalized anger because of it.
It’s not women’s fault when men become rapists.
Hey now one comment thread at a time lol
I'm not saying that, though I can see why you'd think so. I'm saying that pushing all of your trauma onto your kids normally backfires and causes them to be the very thing you hate.
Don't call your son a rapist just because they're a man. Just like don't call your daughter a whore just because she's a woman. More often than not it causes them to end up with the very mindset you're trying to avoid.
Just teach them to be good people. No sexism involved.
I'm not motivated by men telling me what to do. I'll reply when I see fit.
Yes and part of that is teaching boys that they have a responsibility to use their strength and power and privilege to not subjugate others for their own selfish wants. Teaching them this does not mean they are being called rapists.
You don't need to give women warnings that if we don't raise our sons right, if we don't treat men right, if we don't act right, that we are responsible for being raped.
That was meant to be a joke to lighten the tone considering the subject here. Apologies.
I'm not trying to say women are completely responsible. Father's have just as much, if not more, sway in their sons. My point is don't add fuel to the fire.
You have only commented about women and mothers here. If you don't want people to take your comments at face value about that, then you should be sure to include what fathers and men can do to help prevent rape as well.
That's completely fair and I noticed it myself which is why I brought up fathers. It's not just mothers it's fathers, brothers, cousins, friends. But when all the men in your life say "women ain't shit" and then all the women in your life say "men ain't shit" more than likely they're gonna end up siding with they're gender.
I hope you understand I'm not trying to argue in bad faith. I'm just trying to let my personal experience be shown and trying to explain that going too far in one direction causes the opposite intended effect
Who is predated upon the most by the other group?
Again fair, but my point still stands. Don't project that onto your kids. Don't treat your sons like rapists and don't treat your daughters like whores.
Teach your kids right from wrong without pitting them against a whole gender. If you bring gender into it you're part of the problem
Pretending like the genders all face the same issues is being willfully obtuse.