I’m homeless because the US is… a mess and my family is the opposite of helpful.

At the very least, I have place to live. I could not imagine what it is to be like when you do not have safety where you can just be and be yourself without being observed...

I do post occasionally. There’s a couple posts on my old lemmy account, a few on my old reddit, and many more on my old instagram.

I should then check them out. Thanks.

Drawing is a good option. I’ve always struggled with it personally, but I am trying again recently.

I found out myself that using some specific type of paint and paper (or digital instead) could make it easier to enjoy drawing. I am not big fan of pencils, or watercolors, or office papers, but Gouache and watercolor paper (I think they have 2 types of them: "cold pressed" and "hit pressed", which affects texture and how paint interacts with paper) to be more enjoyable.

I imagine your spoken english is similar although it’s probably slow

It is more to remember words, because there so many. And how to pronounce them. I have defects which prevents me to say certain letters (like "r") and my accent is sehr strong. If you ever heard how Slav people speak — you probably know how it sounds.

Obviously I don’t know your language, but the phrase you’ve given seems to have a dual meaning

You are not the first person who say that to me... It is Ukrainian and Russian, where phrases like that is... Well, normal. We have many of them.

For example, there is this great saying "спасение утопающих - дело рук самих утопающих" which translates to "saving the drowning people — is in their own hands", meaning that if you can not help yourself — nobody will.

On one hand it seems to express a kinda of hopeless futility, but it also reads to me in a more positive way too. If ever said “I can’t breathe enough before I die” I would only say that to express that there’s so much I want to do and so little time to do it.

That is interesting perspective, because it used mostly as "hopeless" and also as "stop enjoying this, you would not be able to satisfy yourself enough anyway". It is can be told to person who trying to avoid something inevitable, trying to enjoy what is good left for them. E.g. "

• hey, wake up. It is 7:00, time prepare to go to work.
• Give me 5 more minutes.
• You would not be able to breath enough air before you die anyway, so GET UP now!" " It sounds very bothered in my translation, but it makes sense in original.

I had to go through a seriously dark period to get to this mindset, but I did get through it. I wasn’t hopeful or optimistic while I was dealing with it, but I kept going anyway.

You seems to be strong, which do makes me more inspired.