I actually also joke a lot like that, people even laughing. Except one time when someone told that my jokes are very… self hurting? Like I might say too many bad things about myself that becomes punchlines. I sometimes think, that I might need to stop joking, because I am not great at reading room…

Self-deprecating. It's common to make humour at the expense of yourself. It's really common for people with things like ADHD and other things. Ask me how I know. :) But you have self-worth. You deserve to live, you deserve happiness, you deserve basic comfort. We all do.

Self-care is hard, but it is important.

Yeah, but bad things always manage to outshine good things :(

It can feel like that, but you have to fight against that feeling. I understand. So many days I can't do anything except sit at the computer and waste time because dialysis is hard on the body. I feel stupid and useless a lot. But I try not to let myself feel that way.

We can all only deal with the hand we're dealt, and we can only choose how to react.

And it's not easy.

I should just focus on what I can do.

Yes, exactly that. Like you say, life is cruel, but we still have to keep on trying as best as we can.

And lemme tell ya, sometimes that involved a good cry and being angry at the world. And then moving on and keeping on trying :)

But it is going to take so much of me to accept this, so it would not going to be fast

There's no deadline and no test. You don't have to say "I'll try and if I screw up, that's it, game over" - the nice thing is that every day you decide how to face that day. Did yesterday go well? Good! Keep it up! Did yesterday go poorly? It happens, don't let that make you feel like today has to go poorly.

It's like "Oh no I'm on a diet and I made a bad decision to eat a candy bar, who cares now, I'll eat ice cream" - one mistake or bad day doesn't mean you have to have another. :)

Huh. Maybe I would not and you all will hear again about me but as famous rock star 😎

Even if I don't hear about you as a famous rock star, I'm sure that based on what you've said about your personality, and how some of it matches mine well enough I can say with high confidence: There will be some who remember you and the interactions they had with you.

As useless as I feel, I know I've made some people smile. And I know you have, too.

I'm glad this was a little helpful. There have been a few times in my life where someone has said something that's helped me a bit, so if I've managed to pass that on a little, that also means you've helped me at the same time. :) And that's the best thing we can do as humans - helping each other <3