Update: Tried the sweetango and pink lady with a granny smith.

• The pink lady has way thicker skin than the granny smith, so I have no idea how granny smith got 0 points for skin based on it being too thick while pink lady got 5. Like yeah, the thick skin is good for you, so I like that, but the site clearly thought otherwise.
• I agree now with the 3.5/5 tartness rating. Either the one I had before was an outlier or I was misremembering. It's tart enough for sure.
• This particular granny smith was having an off-day and wasn't nearly as tart as usual granny smiths.
• Probably like a 70/100 for me. Flavor's tolerable, reasonable price, reasonably juicy, mediocre texture, thick skin improves one of the few health benefits apples have over other fruits. Still much prefer something like honeycrisp, cosmic crisp, or sugarbee. Not the third-best apple at all.
• Generally preferred the granny smith, especially because a bite of pink lady goes right from tart to this mild, almost sickening sweetness like some Roman was working at the orchard and put lead in it.
• They were smoking crack when they gave sweetango a 95/100 and ranked it the best apple. This right here is a fucking 6/10 apple. The texture was like a less egregious red delicious. I can't even remember the flavor like 15 minutes later. Tiny little nothing. Genuinely one of the most forgettable apples I've eaten in my life.

The other day, I wrote this comment. I remarked that pink lady apples have "practically zero tartness", that they don't compete with even the nowadays hit-or-miss honeycrisp, and that a 90/100 is an outrageous assessment when something like a granny smith is at a 57. Enough of you disagreed and it's been long enough that, as a man of science, I aim today to challenge my own biases.

I'm at the grocery store right now, and in my cart are two pink lady apples in pristine condition. Get ready, fuckers, because in the next couple hours, I'm giving you my real thoughts on these overrated starter apples.

I also have a few sweetangos, which the ranking website shills for hard.

Pinging @fonix232@fedia.io @feannag@sh.itjust.works @OddMinus1@sh.itjust.works @bunkyprewster@startrek.website