A factoid was originally defined to mean a false statement presented as a fact.[1][2] In colloquial speech, it is often used to mean a true but brief or trivial item of news or information (which can be less ambiguously described as a "factlet").

I just overheard a coworker saying “Oh, I would never try that in my life!”, in a discussion of food. (This was about consuming a steak cooked less than medium well). It made me wonder what life is like for those who refuse to try new food, especially those who refuse to try mundane things like fried shrimp.

Why limit yourself? It seems like such a closed-minded way to view food. Help me understand?

EDIT:

I wasn’t going to do this, but I’m tired of replying to people and will post this at the top.

The person that prompted this question is a close-minded piece of crap. He has no sensory issues, just a shitty mindset, with ignorance and prejudice on display with no shame. I have the pleasure of hearing his annoying shit every night.

The knee-jerk reactions I have received from people in this post have had me examine my own knee-jerk reactions, attributing malice to that which may be misunderstanding rather than bigotry or hatred. This is what I am taking away from this post. That even I should take a chill pill every now and again; it’s not all a tragedy.

I will not delete it, because there are some very thoughtful replies that explain different viewpoints, that people took time to type out. It would be disrespectful to them to do that.

Call me what you like. Don’t care. I will not be replying to any other replies.

It is a tale as old as time.

Is this thing still on Reddit? If so, tell me about it

Laziness. How about a TIL or FYI post in the community one was going to ask the easily answered question? Ya know, for others who may be wondering the same thing? Adding to the discourse of a community? Actually contributing something?

Naw. I’m going to have someone else do it for me. Can you back that up with studies or other primary sources? I’m having a hard time believing you.

Thaaaaanks!

My ex bought our son a ‘23 Camry XSE (I’m paying half obvs). During the first ride I got with him, the telltale sign of a warped rotor brought us some bumpy braking.

Today, he replaced the front rotors and pads on his own. I was there to tell him how to do, and let him struggle a bit so that he can know the frustration that can come with automotive maintenance or repair. Drivers side took almost 2 hours. When we moved to the passenger side, I joked “Man, you’ll knock this out in 20 minutes!”

He did it in 30.

The braking is buttery smooth, he gets to now say “I know how to work on cars”, and I get to stand back in awe of what this young man is capable of.

I am so got dang proud of that man. Saying “man” still doesn’t feel right, but, he shows me each day that he is becoming the man I know he can be.

UPDATE:

I hardly ever go outside without a hoodie on. I’m basically a ghost. Well, today, I got hot while we were outside working on the car, so I took it off. I even remarked to myself “the sun is right above us, not a cloud in the sky; beautiful”. When we came inside, 4 hours later, my arms were feeling a bit tender. I’d worked a 12 hour shift last night, and still have not slept, so I thought I was just sore…until I looked in the mirror. I am now become lobster, the harbinger of discomfort. It’s bad. I am not a smart person. Still, it was worth it. Next time I’ll put on some sunblock 😓😅😓

And democracy takes another agonal breath.

12 years and 8 months ago, my son started his academic journey. Today, he completed the first of what will be many chapters in his life. My pride in him cannot possibly be overstated. I’ve been home now for about an hour, and still I cannot stop crying the happiest of tears. My job—my dream—is to see him surpass me in every way. He’s doing a pretty damn good job so far!

I’d post pics, but yeah, no. Hell, I actually posted a pic on Facebook (so family could see). Only the third post I’ve made in the last 9 years lol. And of course, the other two posts are about my son as well.

Just wanted to tell the void of the internet that I am so proud of my son, and that I love him more than anything in this life.

…and I doubt I will change. I’ve not had a boyfriend really ever. I’ve never had a stranger give me a compliment. I’ve never had someone ask me out—and follow through with it. This is all to say that my views and habits rely solely on sex. I’m fully jaded. I resent those who can literally pick whichever guy they want. I resent my best friend for her relationship with her bf. She was not divorced yet, just separated. This guy walked up to her, asked for her number, and that was it. No effort needed. I’ve put so much effort, only to never see anything of promise.

I want things that I cannot have.

Quick edit: I do not want or need sympathy or whatever. I just need to get this off of my chest. I bottle all of this up, and feel even more isolated, and alone.

So I’ve received a paycheck, that is apparently dated for 10/23/2081. So that’s cool. Maybe I can get my holiday bonus 55.9 years early as well. 🤞🏻

Last night was the first night in more than a month that my best friend and I hung out. It was for her 40th birthday. For background, everyone but me in our friend group is Vietnamese. So when people started showing up, they spoke Vietnamese only. This is fine, I get it. They’d rather speak their mother tongue around me. Even if that means I don’t understand a word anyone is saying. I’ve brought this up to her, only for her to turn it around me as if somehow it is my fault for not joining a conversation that I have no frame of reference to. Whatever, it is what it is.

I’ve supported her through her divorce. I’ve been the only one to listen when she cried, to offer her an ear time and time again when she told me about how bad it was for her. To offer her support of what to do in the steps she needed to take to file and etcetera.

But tonight was too much.

They all showed up, and as usual talked only Vietnamese, which again I don’t understand. But the moment her motherfucking new boyfriend, an American guy, showed up, they all switched to English. It was like magic! Wow, suddenly everybody can talk English—it was amazing! So somehow when I am with the group, I need to be understanding because one or two people don’t speak English well. But when that motherfucker showed up, they all made the fucking effort to try, for him. He didn’t even try to know me past “what’s up?” Clearly she has not told him how close her and I were (or was, now). I feel betrayed. I feel hurt. And above all I feel like a fool for listening to her bullshit excuses why they talk the way they do, when some motherfucker she has known for two months shows up and it’s suddenly English. Fuck that. I’m tired of being bored, and I see the fucking hypocrisy now. I hope this is worth it for her.

I’m happy that she found someone who makes her happy. I am devastated that it comes at the cost of our friendship. He can eat shit and walk into traffic for all I care. I love her like the big sis she has been to me, but last night, I reached my motherfucking limit on bullshit I can deal with.

I’ve texted her as much, we’ll see what she has to say. Seriously, I feel so unimportant to a friend group that was somehow so happy to see me? If I was important at all, they would speak at least a little English, so I could understand, so I could join in on the conversation. But they don’t. Fuck all of them. I’d rather be alone than sit there for hours being bored again. My only wish is that no one parked behind me, so I could pretend to have a reason to go home, rather than staying the night at her brothers house. I fucking hate this. I wish that I had my old best friend back, the one who made sure I understood what was going on. The one that sat near me and made sure I was having a good time too. She doesn’t even try anymore. People change, it’s life. I just need to accept this and move on.

Happy fucking birthday, Mandy.

This is not a pity party kind of post. I’m trying to be as pragmatic as possible. I don’t think that anyone owes me anything.

I’m working on getting over my unrequited love for my best friend. We talked about it, she said she sees me as a younger sister, and that is more than enough for me. If anything, we are closer now that the truth is out there in the open. We, or at least I, try not to keep secrets from each other.

She left her husband today, and I am proud of her for doing so. This is a first step forward for her to find happiness. She’s recently started talking to this guy, in more than a friendly way, who approached her. She has to reject people somewhat often, as she is such an attractive person with a great personality. In short, she has a lot to offer and I am happy for her for that. I’m starting to resent that.

In contrast, I haven’t been approached by anyone in more than a decade. I knew that when I decided to come out and live my life as I truly am, that my dating pool would shrink considerably, smaller than it already seemed. I’ve shown interest in multiple men, but nothing ever came of it other than a few text messages, or nothing at all. I’m told that I’m so nice, so caring, etc, and that I’ll meet someone, someday. I don’t see it. Perhaps I come across as desperate? I suppose I am.

I do my best to care for myself, but do struggle with Bipolar 2 disorder at times. This is something I am actively working on, and hope to overcome or at least get to a manageable level with support and medicine. Due to humiliations suffered from a group of people whom I thought were friends, there are things I don’t wear/do anymore. It is what it is, I’ve gotten over it, but the damage was done.

I don’t show it, but I crave intimacy. The last time I was intimate with someone, in an emotional, non-sexual way was with my ex-wife, some 15 years ago. I just want someone to come home to. Someone that wants to know me, about my day, my hopes and dreams. That is my dream, which is really more of a nightmare anymore.

I used to beat myself up about this stuff, cry myself to sleep and at my worst, feel suicidal over it. That was years ago. I’ve since then tried to look at things logically. What I see with my eyes is that no one gives me the time of day. I’m never more than the gay/trans friend. No flirty comments, no glances, nothing more than what feels like the pity of friends. There’s someone out there for anyone. I press X to doubt.

My bestie tries to encourage me. She tells me that I will find someone, and that I need to be patient. That 37 is too young to give up on the dating world. The only attention I receive is from horny men who want to fuck me, then move on. I debase myself, on Grindr, in hopes that even just one of them wants to meet up more than once. They ghost me as soon as they get what want; that I’ve fulfilled their fetish fantasy and that is my worth. I truly see my worth now to be a disposable object of desire. I’m sure that I am not the only one. She hates to see me do this to myself, but it is the only way I know how to fulfill my sexual needs. I’m still human after all, I have urges and desires.

I stay home with my 17 year old all the time. He is everything to me, and I just want to be the best parent to him that I can be. I put my needs aside, for the most part, to be sure that he is loved and cared for. His mom has a new boyfriend/husband (I have no idea, I just know that they are together) and they have a 2 year old (Could be older or younger, again I have no idea). She has somewhat moved on with her new family, so I consider myself a single parent now. He sees her every other weekend, if that. He doesn’t have friends that he goes out with, so in a way we are all each other has got. He’ll blossom when he is ready, I know it will happen. The only time I’m not with his is every other weekend when I hangout with my best friend. She is the only person in my life that wants to hang out with me.

This is all to say that I don’t go out really. I don’t have the opportunity to meet very many new people outside of work, where there are several hundred people, and the random person my bestie and I come across. I know this limits my chances of meeting someone, but it is my life. I’d feel guilty leaving my son at home while I went out.

I don’t believe that I am attractive, at all. I pass somewhat, but have given up trying to doll myself up in hopes of receiving attention from someone, anyone. I’m a bit tomboyish, which probably contributes to my unattractiveness.

Over the years, I’ve tried to accept that I will never feel the love of a nice man. I’m not choosy, nor picky, and am willing to give anyone who gives me the time of day a chance. I have a type, but consider that more of a preference rather than a strict archetype of who I want. I’m willing to overlook just about anything, so long as the person cares or otherwise shows interest in me.

I don’t go to the bars, nor use dating apps, for fear of rejection or ridicule. I know I am limiting myself considerably, and am trying to overcome this.

This is quite long winded, I know. I don’t expect anyone to reply, let alone read this. I just want to post this in a place where others also talk to the void. If you did read all of this, thank you.

I’m trying to accept the reality that I will likely never find love. It’s really, really, hard. I’m so fucking lonely.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/25065914

I'll never be more than a fetish to people

Mods, please lmk if this post is not appropriate for this community

My dream is to have someone—anyone—see me as more than just a friend. To have someone who wants me, in more than just a sexual way. That dream haunts me.

The only attention I receive is from Grindr. I see my worth as how much I can starve myself to stay thin. I figure at least if I’m petite, pervs online will want to use me as part of their fetish. I oblige them because they desire me in those fleeting moments. After they get what they want, they never contact me again. That is my value as a person.

I’m so insecure, so unconfident. I see people like my best friend, who can get any guy she wants without even trying, and I have only envy and resentment. What’s worse, I think I have feelings for her, unrequited love that will only serve to hurt more as she explores her new life as a single woman. I don’t think even she sees me as a woman, but as a feminine man who lies to himself in the mirror each day. A pretender.

I don’t even try anymore. What’s the fucking point?

Clearly I’m not in a good place mentally/emotionally. I’m tired of therapy; it has not helped me. I feel like a failure in almost all aspects of my life. I can’t even get high anymore, so now on particularly bad days I drink instead. Today I’m getting drunk. I don’t care to tell anyone IRL how I really feel these days. It’s just a waste of breath on my part, and a waste of time on their’s. No one I care about wants to hear about my problems, feelings and fears anymore. It’s best to accept this bitter reality—better to be the funny person than to share my internal struggles and profound sadness.

I’ve got my son, and he is going to venture out into the world on his own in a matter of a few years. Then I will truly feel alone. His love is what keeps me on this earth, nothing else.

This is messy, contradicting, and wrong.

My best friend, who I will call Grace, is an amazing woman. She is caring, fiercely independent, and protective of those she loves. Breathtakingly beautiful, both inside and out. We all have our flaws, and I know hers and accept them as they are. We’ve been like sisters for 5 years now. Grace is a cis woman, and I am a trans woman.

She is in the process of leaving her husband of 20 years, which has been a long time coming. He’s a good man, but a shit husband to her. I’ve been there for her throughout this entire difficult period of her life. Nobody knows her like I do.

I date men exclusively, as does she. Women just don’t have the right…equipment for me. I do like and prefer only the male anatomy, or so I thought. But she is something special. All that said, I think I might be falling in love with her.

Grace is in such a vulnerable place right now. She just wants to be happy. I just want to see her smile, hear her goofy laugh. We have some of the best times together. We laugh and cry together. She’s been there for me in my darkest times, and I hers. We tell each other that we love each other, though for her I’m sure it is platonic. I don’t want to ruin any of this by telling her “I think I love you”.

I don’t think that I would be “enough” for her. I just don’t think she sees me that way. I live an hour away from her. I visit her as often as I can, which is usually on the weekends. We talk on the phone often, especially now with her going through the beginning stages of a divorce. Besides my son (who is my number 1), she is the person I care about most in this life. We send each other IG reels about how much we care about each other, as best friends. She told me she cried yesterday when I sent her a couple of pick me ups.

I’d be anything or anyone I needed to be to be with her. I’m not sure that we are sexually compatible, but that doesn’t matter so much to me, as I have almost no libido. Yes she is stunning, a 10/10 on any metric, but that’s not why I love her. I love her smile. I love her ability to turn anything into a positive and to encourage those around her to do the same. I could go on and on about the things about her that make me smile.

I’ve thought about it, and I think I would even de-transition if that’s what it would take for her to be with me. This is not something I take lightly, as transitioning was the hardest and toughest thing I’ve ever done. But if I did de-transition, I’d be afraid that she would think that this was all a lie just to get with her. I’m deathly afraid of losing her as my best friend, so I say nothing.

There was one time, maybe a year or so ago, when I was plastered, that I told her brother that I thought I loved her. He told me to stop talking, so I did. I pulled him aside a week or so later and did my best to convince him that I was just confused and that I didn’t actually like her like that. But I don’t think I am confused anymore. I feel like I see clearly, and it is tearing me apart. I’m fine loving from afar, as just having her in my life is enough for me. I tell her I gave up on dating, but that’s not the whole truth. I gave up on dating because there is no one else I can see myself with but her. All I want is for her to say “I think I love you too”. But I don’t think she does.

I really wish I didn’t love her like that. It would be so much easier to hear about the attention she receives from guys at the gym or socially. But I am happy to carry on as her best friend, if that means I have her in my life.

I don’t know what to do. I mean, I think I do know what to do: remain her closest confidant and be happy for that.

I don’t know why I’m posting this. I guess I just need someone, somewhere to know this. This one sided love is enough for me I guess.

Help

ETA: I can’t help but feel like I am betraying her by feeling the way I do. I feel like a liar.

ETA, Again: Just to be clear, I would never take advantage of her current situation in an attempt to get with her. That would be gross and creepy. I have too much respect for her to even entertain the idea. She is my best friend, after all. Even though I feel the way I do, I would never do such a sleazy thing.

Thank you all for your thoughtful, and at times, blunt responses. They have helped me confirm that confessing is not the way.

Please keep them coming, I appreciate the perspective.

Honestly, I think just typing this out to internet strangers has been cathartic, as I don’t have anyone in my life to share this with that would not get around back to her. Sharing this deeply personal situation I am in has helped me think about it in ways that I really had not thought of before.