this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
38 points (95.2% liked)

Asklemmy

43626 readers
1158 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
all 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Well, I was afraid that I could do nothing to quell a home invasion, which not only was my area having an uptick in but my best friend's house (and the friend) fell victim to, pistol whipped him and everything we had to glue his scalp back together.

Then I bought a gun. I already knew how to use them because "Uncle," so I didn't have to learn how, which was a plus, just had to learn the laws and practice technique. Now I'm not so scared of home invasions, I can defend myself against them, and I've since moved out of the hood which was another huge bonus, but they still happen here too.

Luckily so far the only time I ever did have to use it I was in a walmart parking lot, not home, and the guy with a knife pointed at us turned and left when he saw me grab it, not a shot fired thank "Bob."

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Hey at least you only had to use it once, hopefully that’s the last time you have to use it.

And I suppose that’s the best defence in the event of a home invasion taking place.

Also sorry to hear about what happened to your friend.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 36 minutes ago

I sure as hell hope so! I never want to have to harm anyone, but I also don't want anyone to harm me or my loved ones lol.

Unfortunately it is, the cops are slow around here, they can only show up after the event (unless they're the ones doing the crime lol), and the criminals (violent ones, not like retail theft, ykwim) also have their own weapons be they guns, knives, crowbars, etc.

Thanks, though he's fine now! This was a while ago, he's also moved and armed now too, and his head healed (but it kinda healed around the glue lol, so that was a problem for a while.) He's doing good these days!

[–] Shotgun_Alice@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Real answer, in college the apartment I was living in was broken into by a neighbor and attacked my roommate. When I heard noise coming from his room I went to go check on him and the attacker turned on me and started to attack me. My injuries were far less severe from my roommate’s. Ever since then I can’t fall asleep unless I check all the doors to make sure they are locked even if I know it’s locked I’ll double check it before laying down for the night. At times when I’m alone in the house I can still get to sleep but it’s a restless sleep because of how uneasy I feel about being alone in a house at night. That shit sucks to never feel fully safe in your own home.

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 2 points 4 hours ago

Ahhh shoot, I’m sorry you had to deal with that, you know maybe leaving a light on at night or buying something like a doorbell cam. Might help.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 8 points 12 hours ago

The Wet Bandits

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 31 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

me dying and my pets experiencing a slow and excruciating death by dehydration and starvation; meowing and barking the entire time for help while everyone ignores the nuisance until it finally stops for good.

i never setup automatic rent payments in the hopes that the eviction process will happen soon enough so at least it get someone's attention before they pass so terribly.

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 13 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

You know some people may call you crazy for that but in the grand scheme of things that is pretty smart what you do with the payments, and if that’s the thing that scares you and thats your way to get a piece of mind then good on you.

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 5 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

i hear odd more often than crazy because my neurodivergence makes human relationships difficult but people will engage since i'm on the part of the spectrum that makes me seem outwardly "normal"; so my pets are my entire social circle and the most important thing in my life. it doesn't matter to me if people think me crazy for it because i know i literally will go crazy without my pets.

i'm also pretty sure that relying on this almost dystopian rental market to continue dystopifying is not a good idea given multitudes of caveats in each jurisdiction; but i'm equally sure that owning a home would guarantee the death sentence i described for my pets.

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Not odd or crazy, but that being said do you have anyone you could contact regularly? If something bad was to happen and you didn’t contact them then that could trigger them to come round to check on you.

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

i think that my family would start wondering why they hadn't heard from me in about 6-9 months at the soonest since that's how frequent our contact usually is.

besides my therapists; i think that my best bet for something like you've described would be with the acquaintances i frequently make entirely thanks to watching and mimicking my well loved, bubbly, extroverted, social butterfly of a mother (RIP). however the life spans of those relationships can be measured in months and there's a continuously rotating cast; and i suspect that me trying to setup something like that with an acquaintance would only make those relationships end faster.

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I’m sorry, I hope everything is all good for you, the only other thing I could suggest is like a life line service that check in on you every few weeks.

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 2 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

thank you, but don't have sympathy for me: i'm think i'm doing decently well since my field of work is extremely lucrative and i'm high functioning enough to have extremely well paying jobs atleast half of the time and the part of the spectrum i occupy makes me seem "normal" to most, so it's possible to socialize; at least for good while; with other people despite it being exhausting most of the time.

someone else in this post suggested a smartwatch setup to contact emergency services automatically and i'm going to do it.

i'm really loving the lemmyverse right now!

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Great! I hope you find a watch you like, Garmin watches can be quite good if you are looking for any suggestions. That being said I wish you all the best!

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

do you have a recommendation for a rugged smart watch that can contact emergency services?

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Depends on your budget and what type of style you like.

There is quite a few that can do something like that, if you give me an idea of what you like I’ll see what comes to mind for you :)

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

style is irrelevant to me and the budget is set by a reputable brand that uses android and has the ability/feature to automatically contact emergency services for things like a fall or a heart beat stopping; nothing besides that matters to at all.

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 3 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

So one option is the Amazfit T-Rex 2, its rugged and has fall detection, can’t remember if it can notify emergency services if your heart stops. I’d imagine if your heart stopped and you fall then it’d trigger.

Another one is TicWatch Pro 3 Ultra, again detects a fall and if you don’t respond sends a message to any emergency contact you choose.

Not sure if they are satisfactory for you, however if you are specifically looking for something for medical monitoring then you could look into a medical alert watch like: Lively Wearable2

Easiest thing to search for is “medical alert watch”

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Easiest thing to search for is “medical alert watch”

that was the first thing i tried and then i immediately encountered intense levels of ad enshitification that happens when you run searches for consumer electronics; half of them weren't even rugged phones despite putting "rugged" (w the quotes) in my search strings. then i tried searching by brand names and again the enshitification provided me with unhelpful results.

thank you again.

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah I get that, sorry if I didn’t help much, just remember it doesn’t have to be rugged you could find a watch and then see if there is a case for it, just like a phone has a case. You can have a smart watch of your choice and a case for it.

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

i didn't know that existed for smartwatches.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record: THANK YOU!!!

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 3 points 19 hours ago

Anytime, I hope you find what you’re looking for.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago

It's "peace of mind." Doesn't that make more sense?

[–] Franconian_Nomad@feddit.org 9 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I personally hate these fucking data collecting things, but have you thought about getting a smartwatch? It think it can inform medical services if something happens to you and if you have configured it that way.

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

i hate them too, but i hadn't considered this and it's brilliant; thank you!

i'm not a fan of the data collection either; but the bigger reason why i haven't gotten one is because i'm a klutz that has accidentally destroyed every single dumb watch i've ever had while wearing it.

i know that they make rugged smartphones and i wonder now if they make rugged smart watches. i'm equally a klutz with smartphones, so i've had rugged phones before and I learned that they're usually a few generations behind their ordinary counterparts in terms of features/capabilities so i'll need to find one that's up to date enough and reliable enough (all of the rugged phones had quirks/shortcomings) to inform medical services.

i don't know where to start; but this is my new priority project.

[–] Franconian_Nomad@feddit.org 6 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Good question, unfortunately I’m not an expert and don’t use one.

But if you like a recommendation for a regular rugged watch: Try a G-Shock. Or try a dive watch from a reputable brand, they are built like tanks most of the time.

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 4 points 21 hours ago
[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 15 points 20 hours ago

Humans. The only thing I'm scared of in this life are other humans.

[–] tamal3@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I can't believe no one said the things under the bed, or the things looking in through the window. On the rare occasion that I'm home alone I still jump several feet to get into bed. Yes I'm too old for this but it's the truth.

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 1 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

I bet you turn the lights off and take 3 steps at a time up the stairs to stop the shadow person from catching you. /s

Also someone looking in the window??

[–] tamal3@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

I mean, there's not anyone outside the window. But the idea that something could be out there without my knowing? It's a feeling of not being secure and makes me jumpy.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

That I will scream in my sleep and have nobody to wake me up, and it’ll be embarrassing at minimum and maybe get the cops called at worst.

The screaming part isn’t hypothetical, it happens pretty regularly.

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Bad nightmares Or is that just something that happens?

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

I assume it must be nightmares, but I usually don’t remember them when I’m woken up. I think it’s PTSD related, but who knows.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

I started screaming during my sleep after my mom died. It was a complicated relationship. As the years go by it happens less and less. Scared the shit out of my wife many times. I think I will remember one of the nightmares for the rest of my life. I usually enjoy scary dreams.

[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 6 points 22 hours ago

Yeah I suppose nightmares can be like dreams once you wake up and eventually set your mind on something else you may forget what happened unless it was something that stuck with you.

And as far as PTSD if that’s something you have then that must be the cause for nightmares thus making you scream with out knowing.

[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Hey, so, not a licensed professional, but deal with something just like that(screaming in sleep).

Go talk to a professional. Mine was PTSD-related night terrors, and once I got on Miratazapine with therapy, they actually went away. Been something I've dealt with since my early teens, and I've not had an episode in months.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 22 hours ago

Thanks for the medication info! I’ve been in therapy and currently have a psychiatrist but haven’t focused much on the screaming issue. I’ll bring it up in my next appointment to see if it would work well with my meds.

[–] scytale@lemm.ee 7 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Not that I’m actually scared to be alone, but my biggest concern is home invasion.

[–] dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Where the hell do you live? I live in a pretty large city, Manchester, and I’ve never been concerned with random attacks of violence.

[–] scytale@lemm.ee 7 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

I guess I used the wrong term. Not "concern", rather "fear". The risk is relatively low in my neighborhood, it's just a fear I have as someone living in a SFH for the first time. I've lived in dense housing most of my life.

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago

I'm alone so infrequently I usually enjoy it. But I have anxiety so if I'm having a panic attack, all worries are on the table and mostly center around "but what if my husband or sister just never come back???"

[–] actually@lemmy.world 11 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 5 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

I once had a medical emergency when home alone, I was making a sandwich and was cutting ham when the knife slipped and nearly cut the end of my finger off. Luckily I had my phone and was able to call for some help.

Best thing to do imo is have your phone nearby you when home alone.

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 2 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

I know people here hate them but Google home/Alexa have emergency capabilities now too I believe. My mil was telling me about it

[–] ObsidianNebula@sh.itjust.works 2 points 12 hours ago

Someone I knew fell down the stairs while home alone and couldn't get up. He was able to call out towards the kitchen and tell Alexa to call for help. If he wasn't able to do that, he would have been lying there much longer before anyone could find out. It sucks for privacy, but those types of devices do have some legitimate helpful uses.

[–] Franconian_Nomad@feddit.org 5 points 21 hours ago

Nothing. I like to be home alone.

But of course I like it even better if my partner is here with me.

[–] Pulptastic@midwest.social 2 points 18 hours ago

All the biking I’m not doing. If no one is home, my obligations are fewer so I should go for a bike ride.