this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 days ago

well i find the idea of casual sex inherently repulsive so yes i do think i want a significant other

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Your psychotherapist is absolutely not supposed to have sex with his / her patients, and doing so (and getting caught) is grounds for losing your license to practice.

That said, about 30% of psychotherapists are banging at least one of their patients in the United States...or claims to be...or something. If we're lucky that is a bogus stat, but frankly it's plausible.

That said, ideally you'd get therapy and sex from different sources.

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Tbh I didn’t think this meme was saying have sex with your therapist, but I guess some people thought that the therapist is the same person

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 days ago

When we rely on our lover to process our inner turmoil then yeah, it's the same, just not a professional therapist. That's the implication.

Hence a better model of having multiple holistic close friends that can distribute the work. Or a professional therapist and a separate FWB.

[–] Nexy@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 3 days ago

I think the idea is have a therapist AND a sex partner separately

[–] Ranger@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

People are people. You're not supposed to date/have sex with co-workers in most workplaces but it happens all the time. I'm not saying it's a good idea for people to be banging their therapist.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

In 1980s psychological parlance, the most common places to find partners were:

  1. Work
  2. School
  3. Church
  4. Friends of family
  5. Friends of friends

In the 1990s and aughts, we were already seeing that things had shifted. Fewer people were engaged in their church group. There was more awareness of sexual harassment at work (and power dynamics that could interfere with regular human interaction). People also had fewer friends and less contact with their extended family. This resulted in more people clubbing (and functioning by one-night stands) and otherwise looking for better places to find eligible partners.

I was in the psychiatric sector both as a patient and a peer counselor, and they recommended activity groups. Frisbee golf, knitting, puzzle-building, backgammon, gardening, etc. I sucked at those, but I was dating during the golden age of Craigslist personal ads. We still have sexual harassment in the workplace in 2024, often from upper-management on the clerical pool, which means for anyone not in upper management, they're being micromanaged and kept from propositioning fellow employees. But curiously in the 1970s and 1980s employees often dated and married.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 5 points 3 days ago

I mean.... I'm way more likely to open up to someone after I've had sex with them.....

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 96 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I'm ace. All I want are cuddles and garlic bread. For some reason it's considered an ethics violation for therapists to cuddle with clients

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 61 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Have you considered cuddling with garlic bread? Solves both problems at once!

[–] 3laws@lemmy.world 49 points 5 days ago (2 children)

The Onion: Florida ace autistic man is the first to marry full human size garlic bread waifu pillow. Red Bull is the official sponsor of the wedding.

[–] XCraftMC@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Redbull doing everything except making drinks part 5000

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 8 points 4 days ago

Common misconception. Red Bull is more of a marketing company that sells its formula to manufacturing plants around the world. They mainly focus on advertising while the local manufacturing plants produce the product. Or maybe there are 2 heads would be a better statement.

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I would totally buy a garlic bread dakimakura.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

But how would you resist eating it?

[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

You wouldn't.

[–] Shou@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago

Same. I need a cuddle buddy with whom I can commit crimes with.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yes. You have to hire a different companion for professional cuddling, and thanks to our effed-up healthcare system, it's not covered by insurance.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 3 points 3 days ago

I actually came across someone that offered that service once, they were working in the same co-working office as a colleague. They had flyers and everything.

[–] germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 60 points 5 days ago
[–] KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 80 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I have 2 therapists and was going to a lot of sex parties, still wanted an SO.

[–] Californian_hotel@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Wtf, is a sex party? You meant orgy

[–] KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I guess? I mean, I go to a venue, get a drink or two, meet my friends, by now I'm probably already undressed, then we have sex, with whoever I feel comfortable with. In the meantime there are at least 60 other people in the venue doing their own thing, BDSM shit, sex, whatever floats their boat. Really nice vibe, everyone is respectful, consent is important.

Its been really nice going to these things.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I wish I could find that kind of party around where I live

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 days ago

Look for BDSM munches, in which sex doesn't (usually) happen but people talk about BDSM and hooking up. When the right people like and trust you, the party invites follow.

[–] thanks_shakey_snake@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 days ago

I just need someone who can be both a psychoanalyst and therapist.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 40 points 5 days ago

Shit, I don't even need the therapist.

[–] EatMyPixelDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone 56 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It's far less messy than having sex with your therapist

[–] socsa@piefed.social 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That's why I bring a towel to therapy

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 2 points 3 days ago

This hoopy frood knows where his towel is!

[–] SurfinBird@lemmy.ca 33 points 5 days ago (1 children)

There’s a shortage of sexy therapists

[–] blackluster117@possumpat.io 20 points 5 days ago

Not in my area, according to this convenient banner ad.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 36 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I just need friends that can come home and play whatever with me :(

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

Me too, I am thinking of getting a dog because there’s not enough time to make actual friends lol

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

Ok that is one of the best perks of marriage actually

[–] gnuplusmatt@reddthat.com 48 points 5 days ago (2 children)

the second income is good too

[–] Im_old@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago

cries in breadwinner because SO job pays close to nothing

[–] babybus@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago

Is it really good considering a 50/50 split during the divorce?

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I, for one, am completely down with the Aldus Huxley idea of creating a community system that allows everyone to get laid and get psychotherapy (id est, vent their troubles and get professional feedback). Huxley had to dystopia it up a bit with compliance drugs and criminalizing intimacy (and abuses of genetic engineering) since he was writing a cautionary tale, but I think if we did these things and then upgraded friends (or created a subset like BFFs) to include emotional intimacy, it would make for a pretty groovy society.

Right now, we are really far away from this notion, and are about to confront some great filters unprepared, so coulda, shoulda, woulda.

[–] Pippipartner@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 5 days ago

I would take either.

[–] trustnoone@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 5 days ago

I am happy for either.

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Confession: I wish I understood this.