this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] ApeNo1@lemm.ee 265 points 2 days ago (1 children)

“Dear Mars, I was unable to enjoy my recently purchased Mars Bar as it was missing the trademark thick veins running down its shaft.”

[–] SquiffSquiff@lemmy.world 133 points 2 days ago (2 children)

"Dear BBC, thanks for the illustrated article on our product. Our advertising and PR manager says it's the best £2 we've spent all year'

[–] teft@lemmy.world 40 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Are you thanking the Big Black...Candybar or the British Broadcasting Corporation?

[–] gressen@lemm.ee 18 points 2 days ago
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[–] ApeNo1@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It certainly does feel like they are pushing their confectionary product down our throats.

Edit: grammar

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 36 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

You can't tell me this isn't the exact way you'd expect this guy to look. He said he's gonna use his 2 quid settlement for more mars bars. I'm comforted.

[–] m4xie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 2 days ago

Excellent choice. I would.

[–] BearGun@ttrpg.network 15 points 2 days ago

Now this is the kind of hard-hitting journalism I'm here for

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 50 points 2 days ago (3 children)

How is a Mars bar a fuckin quid now?!?

[–] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How is a Mars bar a fuckin quid now?!?

You think that's nuts.
It's 9 quid for two ass creams with the chewing gums innit.

[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 31 points 2 days ago (1 children)

£9 for two ass creamings, chewing gum or no, is a bargain

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

As an uncultured American, I honestly don't know how else to read that comment.

[–] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

They were probably referring to this video.

[–] Z3k3@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The thing that's breaking my brain right now is the price of spam

[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 16 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I recently had a broken fridge and had to live off non-refrigerated items for a while. It's more expensive to eat tinned meats (corned beef, spam etc.) than it is to eat fresh/frozen meats. That broke me a bit.

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[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

SPAMLY SPAM, WONDERFUL SPAM!…

[–] BananaTrifleViolin@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's because a quid is worth much elss that it used to be, not because a mars bar is worth more (although I'm sure some of it is increased profit margins masked as inflation gouging customers too)

[–] 3ntranced@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (11 children)

Hey, American here. I watch tons of old British telly and I thought i had a good understanding of currency terms but now I'm confused. I thought a quid is just another word for a pound?

While im here, is pence-pennies,tuppence-2 pennies, a shilling-like a dime or something,bob-just slang for pound? Plus you guys had the euro sort of wander in before brevity, it's all so confusing.

[–] r4venw@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I think of quid as the british equivalent of "bucks"

[–] 3ntranced@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But a buck is 1$, and the post states 2£ compensation? Or did it cost 1£? That's where I am confusion.

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

It cost a quid and he got two back so he can buy two mars bars.

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[–] PriorityMotif@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago
[–] BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works 38 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Fun fact: the Mars bar is marketed as a Milky Way in the U.S. There was a Mars bar in the U.S., but it had almonds. It has since been rebranded as Snickers Almond.

[–] Theoriginalthon@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

So what's a milky way advertised as?

[–] spearz@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] TotesIllegit@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

American here; you're spot on. The US/Mexico version of the Milky Way bar has a layer of caramel in addition to the nougat, and 3 Musketeers is essentially the global version of Milky Way. Our bars may be also bigger in size.

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[–] KittenBiscuits@lemm.ee 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The Milky Way and the Mars bar were both created by the same person. And the Milky Way was created about 12 years earlier in Chicago. Forrest Mars went off to start his own Mars candy division in the UK after a fight with his dad.

I had a client that had a Mars heir as a client, and knew they were based in the DMV. I was curious how an American candy company with a candy bar named after the family ended up being created in the UK.

[–] NeatoBuilds@mander.xyz 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How did they get an office in the department of motor vehicles

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They didn't, they're just in the Delaware/Maryland/Virginia area.

[–] kryndis@lemmings.world 13 points 2 days ago

DMV stands for D.C./Maryland/Virginia in that context and refers to the D.C. metropolitan area.

What you're thinking of is the Eastern Shore peninsula, which is called Delmarva and is made up of parts of those three states.

[–] seth@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

TIL. I dislike Milky Ways, they're incomplete substandard Snickers. 3 Musketeers are even worse; nougat is the worst part of the Snickers. In a Halloween haul, I'd always rather eat a roll of Smarties or a packet of two Spree than a Milky Way or 3 Musketeers, and that's the equivalent of saying I'd rather eat a piece of chalk.

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[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 11 points 2 days ago

Did they make him break it in two and mail it back first?

[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Great. Now that Mars buckled, everyone will be suing over their smooth candies. They may have made this case go away, but they'll soon be out tens, maybe even hundreds of pounds.

[–] SquiffSquiff@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Yup. Obviously a smooth brained idea

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 27 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A mars bar with no dick vein. Welp at leat the bloke got 2 pound(ing)s compensation.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 10 points 2 days ago

the Dull Men’s Club Facebook page

They only paid him because it would be exciting and ruin his reputation as a dull man.

[–] TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Great. When did Mars go woke?

[–] carpelbridgesyndrome@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Tucker Carlson demands the return of the throbbing dick vein to the demasculated Mars bar.

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[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

I used to send a complaint for faulty products to companies in my late teens/early 20's as I was low on money. Like once I got some energy drink in a bottle made for Pepsi. Same volume, no difference, but a mistake, so got 5€ for it so "won" like 3€ for that. I'd pick out products like that if I saw them in a shop for that very purpose.

Once I genuinely was annoyed though, as a soft drink company that filled the vending machine at our school had filled it wrong and I got what was essentially Fanta he I wanted an energy drink and it was fucking hard waking up that morning.

[–] cmgvd3lw@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 2 days ago

Ironic that BBC reported it.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

"Dull Men's Club" must be code for Mad Lads

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