One of the very few advantages of being neurodivergent is it is unbelievably easy to make sure someone will never want to talk to you again. Just stop making efforts to act "normal".
this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2025
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I don't remember how to unmask. 😶
I mask fine sober but throw in a little weed and you're getting a six hour lesson on black hole holography.
Can you get high and make a YouTube channel?
I think I would like to hear this six hour lesson, Radioactive Butthole.
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For me it helps to get drunk
Same. Though I'm mute under my mask so it's a mixed bag.
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I just talk to them like I talk with my cats, albeit with a few fewer queries about if they've been cleaning their ass.
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You say that, but I remember getting into it with people in college and going back and forth straight into the AM because we couldn't stop fueling one another.
Couldn't get enough of that level of socialization. It's one of the things I miss most about the university experience. Made a lot of really good long term friendships during that time, too.
Horrible for hooking up, though.
Check if you have a local makerspace or hackspace. They tend to attract a similar crowd. My local one is definitely majority neurospicy.
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Bro where are all these hot neurodivergent women that just want to talk at me for 2 hours straight ?(I can't carry a conversation and like listening)
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Is... Is this a win? Wasting 2 hours of your life in an attempt to teach a lesson to some rando you'll never see again?
hello!
time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time.
If you enjoy it - it’s never wasted time
Time is unwasted if you enjoyed spending waste!
Are we just saying the same thing?
Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time?
I don't think the 2 hour ramble was an intentional attempt at teaching a lesson.
Feels more like a failure on the part of her date. A big part of active listening is keying in on things you're interested in and leading the conversation in that direction.
People with ADHD rambling at me for an hour was what I did before podcasts.
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If it was fun for you then yes (nothing wasted in that case).
She was going to be talking anyway
Isn't the point that her actual neurological condition made it harder for her to control herself from going on a long rant, simultaneously explaining and demonstrating how his diagnosis isn't as bad as he thinks it is?
Thanks to my ADHD I came across as random. But it's not "Lol, Monkey Muffin! See so random1"
It's one thing will remind me of another, which will remind me of another, and that will remind me of another.
So let's say someone's talking about aliens, that makes me think of crop circles and cows, cows! Cow and Chicken, the raunchy 90's kid's show that really would have been on Adult Swim if that was a thing back then, oh my god Adult Swim! Aqua Teen Hunger Force, I love Master Shake.. Oh God milkshakes! I really am craving some chocolate right now.
So while the other person is talking about aliens, I respond not really having heard what they're talking about with...
"Did you know that the stereotype that women like chocolate actually has a basis in truth, you see during menstrual cramps the human body burns through its supplies of magnesium, causing the body to seek more, a common foodstuff with magnesium is chocolate. So the body is told to seek out chocolate, but the person in question is not conciously aware of the specifics. It's rather strange isn't it? How our random cravings are often just the cure to what's ailing us?"
And it looks like I'm weird and not paying attention, when I am, but.... to a long chain that no one else can see.
I have to make a conscious effort to avoid doing this because I know how exhausting it is. Especially if I don't know the person very well. Often I clam up instead to avoid it. And I will still end up doing it sometimes. It sucks. I don't think it's a super power or cute - it's embarrassing. On the plus side I've had some comment that my nearly eidetic recall and ability to link seemingly unrelated subjects together on-the-fly seemingly effortlessly is what makes me interesting.
I'll never forget what it was like to share an officie with 2 other people with adhd. I'd start talking about one topic, jump three topics over because they're obviously related, and they'd just follow along without needing me to hold their hand. It was amazing
I don't have ADHD, but my trick for introducing these chain-of-thought topics back into conversation is like this:
- One degrees of separation: normal topic, can be added to conversation with no introduction
- Two degrees of separation: "You mentioned ______, which made me think of _______"
- More than two degrees of separation: Either don't bother, or, if it's really interesting, then wait for a good time and then hit 'em with "Hey guys, sorry to interrupt, this is kind of random but I just thought of.... "
Works pretty well most of the time.
I do have ADHD.
The issue is that the chain-of-thought is always at least 10 long and growing faster than you can speak or consciously keep up with. When you’re that deep in it, you’ve already forgotten what the first link in the chain was and how it relates to the conversation, or what the other person’s talking about entirely.
So it’s always don’t bother, “sorry what did you say?” or “here’s something random but super tangentially related but I can’t really explain why”
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I don't really get the point of people who dispute medical diagnoses - "No sweetie, you don't have type 2 diabetes, ThE MeDiCaL EsTaBLiShMeNt.." like, shut the hell up you vapid cretin.
I work with a guy who genuinely believes that eating carrots improved his vision two days. Not that carrots are good for eye health in general, but that it had “healing powers” and fixed his vision. Yeahhhh okkkkk broooo……
ADD/ADHD don't have an established pathology. That's why. They came up with diagnostic criteria and called it a "disorder".
You know how in animistic religions, they see the sun, rain, ice, fire, and decide each of those things has a god associated with it? And anything that happens involving those, gets explained in terms of the interactions of those gods?
My mom's had people try to tell her that she only thinks she has type 1 diabetes because the doctors told her she does, and if she stopped believing them, her pancreas would start working again.
Same energy as people who react to climate science with “actually the climate changes all the time - it’s called seasons” and then go back to sitting on the porch of their burning house.
The condescending smug 'no, sweetie,' bit was already a red flag for me, and then they just kept digging.
Because ppl lie and exaggerate things. Also the distrust of the medical and pharmaceutical companies was created by the over diagnosing and over prescribing of medication that created the opioid crisis. And lets not forget the conveyor belt type of medical care that stresses get them in and get them out that results in misdiagnosing and a general lack of care.
No I'm not a conspiracy theorist and 9 times out of 10 a doctor is usually right but let's not act like the distrust of American medical services isn't deserved.
Some guys will say anything to get laid, but there's also a chance he took Psych 101 and thinks he's a shrink.
I have a pretty good csee of ADHD and was diagnosed in 1991 when it was relatively new and didn't have the stigma. If a date told me that, I'd walk right out. I don't need someone who denies my illness in my life. What an insufferable prick.
Doctors be out there medicalizing people
There's one thing I feel isn't mentioned too much in relation to ADHD that I feel like is worth sharing, from my personal experience with it's diagnosis and trying to solve it both through medication and therapy. I'm not saying anyone else has the same situation, but it's something worth considering since the realization helped me tremendously to deal with it.
While I do probably have a mild case of ADHD, the root of the problem wasn't as much that, but a totally fucked up attention span and basically an addiction to spending time at a computer, which was literally 90% of what I did for most of my life ever since I started playing at Dreamcast when I was 4. It was what magnified the symptoms and made it so much worse, and it's something that meds won't help with. Especially for younger people who grew up with smarthphones and social networks, it may play a huge part in making their life a lot worse, and it's pretty similar to ADHD as far as symptoms are considered. Once I started dealing with this, limiting my time with instantly gratifying things, making new hobbies outside of a computer (which was insanely hard) and learning some patience, I got way better.
If you're dealing with ADHD, both diagnosed or undiagnosed, it's something worth thinking about. I'm not saying your situation is the same, or that everyone's ADHD is just bullshit and they are addicted to scrolling. Just offering my experience as a food for thought, because it's something that helped me personally and I haven't seen it mentioned too much.
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